# a desperate cry for help from the spork mafia **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 23, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397 "2000-11-23T00:49:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/1 "2000-11-23T00:49:07Z")
A friend and I are trying to start up a website about, umm, sporks. There is a serious lack of quality spork websites out there, we’re going to start a SPORK REVOLUTION! The only problem is, there’s not really much you can write about sporks so we’re asking for some help. If you have anything cool and spork related, please send it over! my email is [fortythreee@aol.com](mailto:fortythreee@aol.com) I know before people were talking about taking pictures of the teddy bear and um… panties, in front of different stuff, so if anyone lives near something cool of feels like taking a picture of a spork there, that would be really, really, really neat 🙂 thanks in advance, and i actually expect some participation… ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/2 "2000-11-23T01:22:48Z")
I have a Pikachu spork…you can have it, if you want. ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/3 "2000-11-23T01:35:22Z")
I want it! I want it! \ ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/4 "2000-11-23T02:21:01Z")
Define spork. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/5 "2000-11-23T03:38:18Z")
_ **SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRK!!!** _ (My high school basketball team’s battle cry) ---
**Author:** ![Qwisp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qwisp/32/397_2.png) [@Qwisp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwisp)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/6 "2000-11-23T05:00:23Z")
Ahh the wonderful spork. Just thinking about it makes me yearn for those wonderful school lunches they went with.NOT.But I do miss sporks ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/7 "2000-11-23T05:03:16Z")
I’m a spork. My mother was a spoon and my father was a fork. The knife did try to run away with the spoon but the fork got her instead and thus I was born. ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/8 "2000-11-23T11:02:48Z")
Should I just take a picture of it and send it to you, or would you like me to just mail the spork itself? I could do both, I suppose. E-mail me and let me know. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FloChi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@FloChi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloChi)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/9 "2000-11-23T19:15:35Z")
Is it also known as a splade? Great for curries. ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/10 "2000-11-23T19:31:24Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m a spork. My mother was a spoon and my father was a fork. and my sister’s a foon. Somebody beat you to it, as you might expect: [http://www.spork.org/](http://www.spork.org/) ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/11 "2000-11-23T19:47:57Z")
Sporks. Heh heh. Wrapped in cellophane, with the little napkin, and the salt & pepper packets. Such memories. They suck for soup, though. Be careful with your spork. You can put an eye out with those things. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/12 "2000-11-23T20:23:34Z")
\<\<\*\*Somebody beat you to it, as you might expect: \*\*\>\> argh! well, ours is going to be ten times better. If anyone else feels like donating a spork or a picture of a spork of any kind, I’d be very greatful 🙂 we’re gonna do a “SPORKS FROM AROUND THE WORLD” section. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/13 "2000-11-24T03:45:02Z")
Last year, myself and an accomplice, who’s a friend of mine, decided to corner the spork racket in the school, since we sensed that a spork craze would be hitting soon, and we wanted to be the first to start it. But we didnt’ wanna have no pansy-ass plastic sporks, no sir. OUR sporks were gonna be stainless steel, durable, and trustworthy. In short, we wouldn’t just be making sporks for our clients, we’d be making lifetime companions. Only thing is, we had a few problems. Problem Number One? No supplies. Easily remedied, though, as we launched an operation to make the Mission Impossible crew proud, and “borrowed” a few spoons from the cafeteria. The plan was that we’d then cut grooves into the spoons, and make our own sporks. Problem Number Two: We had no metal-shop skill whatsoever, and even less time to spend carving silverware hybrids. Oh well, we thought, we can improvise. Another trip to the cafeteria ensued, this time resulting in a number of knives equal to the number of spoons aquired in the previous op. A bit of ductape, a smidgen of creativity, and a whole lotta love were all that was required to bond the spoon and knife into the next generation of eating utensil: The **Sporkco Model 2000**! Even better, the tape bonding the two was applied using the “acu-grip” system, leaving a nice handle for the client. For some reason, though, nobody wanted to buy our sporks. Kept saying stuff about how they “weren’t really sporks” and how we “looked funny”. Now, I have two genuine Sporkco prototypes up on my desk, gathering dust, to remind me of my past defeats. Ah, well, it was a good way to kill time, and we were in a weird mood, anyhoo. Good memories from the spork buisness. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/14 "2000-11-24T04:48:14Z")
In the [How do you want to die?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=44048) thread, I said: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*I want to be stabbed to death with a spork. \*\* That’s about all I can tell you about sporks. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/15 "2000-11-24T05:05:42Z")
I adore sporks. They were the only other utensil available at a summer arts institute that I attended and have fond memories of. Alas, I find them difficult to get around here. I have heard a rumor that KFC stocks them, but as I am a vegetarian, I have no reason to go into KFC. ::sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-cry-for-help-from-the-spork-mafia/42397/16 "2000-11-24T05:38:26Z")
> [@](#): > > and my sister’s a foon. Really? Wow… actually in all honesty I AM a spork… me (and a few others) role played this out. Adam was the knife, Nicki the spoon, Sammles the Fork and of course… _drum roll_ I was the spork!