# A Desperate Plea...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-plea/71697>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 8, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-plea/71697 "2001-07-08T14:53:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![JS\_Princeton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JS\_Princeton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JS_Princeton)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-plea/71697/1 "2001-07-08T14:53:33Z")

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I know you all are very caring people:

I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me,  
because I can’t. She is crying. Don’t cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad,  
but she says it’s not my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but  
she didn’t answer, and only started crying harder, so I don’t ask her  
that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I’m so sick. I was born  
without a body.

It doesn’t hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an  
artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The  
doctors  
said that was the best they could do on account of us havin’ no money  
or  
insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more  
money. Mommy doesn’t work because she said employers don’t hire crying  
people. I said, “Don’t cry, Mommy,” and she hugged my burlap body.  
Mommy  
always gives me hugs, even though she’s allergic to burlap, and it  
chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me. You can help me if you  
forward this e-mail. Dr. Van Nostrem from the clinic said if you foward  
this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with  
NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all  
over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them  
better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection  
in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me  
better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my  
lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that  
every  
time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to  
the angels.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don’t want my  
leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don’t forward this e-mail,  
that’s  
OK. Mommy says you’re a mean heartless shithead who doesn’t care about  
a  
poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don’t stew in  
the  
raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow  
horrible death so you can burn forever in hell. What kind of goddamned  
person are you that you can’t take five fucking minutes to forward this  
to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest  
of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard. I  
wish  
I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.

Billy ‘Smiles’ Evans,  
the boy with just a head, and a burlap bag for a body

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**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-plea/71697/2 "2001-07-08T15:30:38Z")

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Uh… OK…😕

Welcome and all, **JS Princeton** … but this isn’t the kind of thing that most people at the SDMB are going to reply to in a positive way…

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**Author:** ![DVous\_Means](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@DVous\_Means](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVous_Means)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-plea/71697/3 "2001-07-08T15:42:19Z")

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I have seen the OP on Snopes, in a condensed form. I saved the text to a file especially for those times when someone sends me a chain letter. I send them a return mail featuring the burlap boy.

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-desperate-plea/71697/4 "2001-07-08T16:16:10Z")

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Um … yeah, okay.
