# A different sort of joke thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 6, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865 "2010-01-06T03:45:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/541 "2010-01-28T04:49:48Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > 8 points. I bet I could tell this one to 20 random people at work, and 20 random people would go ‘Huh?’ Eight points. _ **EIGHT** _? What? So it’s my fault you work with morons? Sorry, I didn’t realize you were with the government. (ba-dum, bump) What? You’ve never heard the “Pickle Slicer” joke?!?!?! Okay, next… * * * Niels Bohr and Albert Einstein are walking through the woods one fine Sunday afternoon discussing physics. All of a sudden, a huge bear comes out of the trees and stands upon its hind legs, threatening to attack. Albert Einstein starts to run away at a full sprint. Bohr yells to him “Albert, you know you can’t outrun a bear.” Einstein yells back, “I know I can’t outrun a bear. I only have to outrun _you_.” * * * A long, long time ago, there once was a small peaceful village named Tridville. Naturally, the citizens of this Utopia were called the Trids. The only source of water the Trids had came from the Tridville Well, which sat high upon Tridville Hill at the edge of town. Any time one of the Trids wanted to get Tridville water, they had to climb the Tridville Hill and use the Tridville Bucket which was inside the Tridville Well in order to get Tridville Water out of the Tridville Well. Then they had to climb back down Tridville Hill carrying the Tridville Water. This went on for many years and life was good. One day, a great evil dragon came and wrecked havoc upon the Trids and the village of Tridville. After much destruction, the Dragon decided to live upon Tridville hill and was quite threatening to both Tridville and the Trids, for the Evil Tridville Dragon, as he became known, had successfully cut off the Trids’ only water supply, that being the Tridville Well which sat high upon Tridville Hill. Now any time one of the Trids who wanted to get Tridville water out of the Tridville Well which sat upon Tridville Hill, they had to climb the Tridville Hill to try to use the Tridville Bucket which was inside the Tridville Well in order to get Tridville Water out of the Tridville Well, the Evil Tridville Dragon would kick the hapless Trid back down Tridville Hill without giving them the chance to use the Tridville Bucket to get Tridville water from the Tridville Well. The Trids could do nothing to remedy the situation. Scores of Trids tried to climb Tridville Hill in order to remove the Tridville Dragon from Tridville Hill so once again they could climb Tridville Hill and use the Tridville Bucket in order to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well. As soon as they advanced upon it, the Tridville Dragon kicked every single Trid who had scaled Tridville Hill in order to reclaim the right to use the Tridville Bucket to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well which sat high upon Tridville Hill \*back \*down Tridville hill. The Trids then made a plea to the King, and the King sent an army of Trids to climb Tridville Hill in order to remove the Tridville Dragon from Tridville Hill so once again the noble and peaceful Trids could climb Tridville Hill and use the Tridville Bucket in order to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well without harrassment from the Tridville Dragon. As soon as the army of Trids advanced upon it, the Tridville Dragon kicked every single Trid soldier who had scaled Tridville Hill in order to reclaim the right to use the Tridville Bucket to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well which sat high upon Tridville Hill \*back \*down Tridville hill. As a last resort, the King of Tridville plead with Tridville’s only Rabbi, from the Tridville synagogue. The Rabbi agreed to ascend Tridville Hill and dispatch the Tridville Dragon from Tridville Hill so that, once again, Trids would have the ability to climb Tridville Hill to reach the Tridville Well which sat high upon Tridville hill to use the Tridville Bucket to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well. The Rabbi spent all night in silent prayer, asking not to be disturbed but only for a meager diet of bread and water. At dawn, he emerged from the Synagogue prepared to ascend Tridville Hill in order to dispatch the Tridville Dragon so that, once again, Trids would be able to use the Tridville Bucket which was inside the Tridville Well in order to get Tridville Water out of the Tridville Well. A crowd had gathered and stood almost in total silence as the Rabbi approached the foot of the hill. Women sobbed, babies cried and men stood in great anticipation. The Rabbi ascended the Tridville Hill. The Tridville Dragon was not asleep but barely opened an eye as the Rabbi approached. The Rabbi got closer, and the Tridville Dragon began to snore slightly. The Rabbi slowly approached the Tridville Well. He lowered the Tridville Bucket into the Tridville Well in order to obtain Tridville Water to take back down Tridville Hill to take back to the Trids. As the Tridville Bucket descended, the Tridville Dragon raised an eyebrow, slightly. The Rabbi was successful. He had been able to ascend the Tridville Hill without being disturbed by the Tridville Dragon to use the Tridville Bucket to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well, which stood high upon the Tridville Hill. After giving praise for his success, the Rabbi began to descend Tridville Hill so that he could demonstrate his good fortune to the citizens of Tridville. After only two steps, he stopped and turned to the Tridville Dragon. He asked “Excuse me, Tridville Dragon, but I have one question for you. Every time a Trid from Tridville attempted to climb Tridville Hill to use the Tridville Bucket to obtain Tridville Water from the Tridville Well which sits high upon Tridville Hill, you, the Evil Tridville Dragon would kick any Trid back down Tridville Hill. Yet, you allow me to complete the task unhindered. I do not understand.” The Tridville Dragon smacked his lips slowly and replied, “Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Trids.” I’ll bet you green money you’ve never heard that one before. 🙂 * * * Two molecules are doing the town, just being pals when a bit of roughhousing and horseplay ensues. All of a sudden, one of them says, “Wait – I’ve lost an electron.” The other one asks, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yeah, I’m positive!” Well, you \*said \*to bring it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/542 "2010-01-28T07:29:09Z")
… I guess they could have been discussing psychics, but you would have seen that one coming. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/543 "2010-01-28T08:07:10Z")
Why do Jews have large noses? Air is free! A moyul has a pretty good job. The pay’s not great, but you get a lot of tips. Did you see on the news the other night about the little boy who was born with no eyelids? Fortunately, when they performed the circumcision, they were able to fashion new eyelids for him out of the leftover skin. The only problem is that now he’s cockeyed. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn’t keep her pupils straight. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/544 "2010-01-28T09:31:33Z")
A horse walked into a bar. The barman said, “JESUS CHRIST THERE’S A FUCKING HORSE IN THE BAR! Everybody out, out, out! Don’t spook it, don’t spook it, just give it space, give it space, as long as it doesn’t…yeah, great there goes the carpet. I just redecorated for fu… not the optics, not the optics… fine, fine, it’s only my entire stock-in-bastard-trade, stay cool. City fucking Farm my arse. I had better be insured for this shit. Hello, yeah, police please. I’m calling from The Eagle at Kilburn. There’s a horse in my bar. Yes, really a horse. Yes, really in a bar. What? Well, seeing as how you ask, smartarse, it’s because I’ve just watched my livelihood get the shit kicked out of it by a runaway horse. Now cut the jokes and get me some help. Everyone’s a fucking comedian.” A woman walks into a bar and asks for a single entendre. So the barman has sex with her. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/545 "2010-01-28T10:37:18Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Peter,” says Jesus, “I can see your house from up here!” 9 points. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/546 "2010-01-28T10:39:39Z")
> [@Rain\_Soaked](#): > > After they bought the bike the father asks “So, are you going to ride it now?” > > “No, Dad. My ass still hurts.” > > * * * > > The husband looks up sheepishly and says “I think I choked her.” Two solid entries. 9 points. 8 points. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/547 "2010-01-28T10:40:56Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > I think everyone’s probably seen this…“Look mister, you should understand that sex isn’t a man’s best friend so go get yourself a dog.” I think you’re right. Zero points. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/548 "2010-01-28T10:43:41Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast. For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there. 😕😕😕 Are we in the right thread here? 😕😕😕 ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/549 "2010-01-28T10:45:30Z")
Two guys on a train both had a fresh black eye. First guy says to the second “how’d you get that shiner?” Second guy says “the lady selling the train ticket had huge boobs. I meant to ask for a ticket to Pittsburgh, but I was staring at her boobs and accidentally asked for a picket to tits-burgh instead, so she slugged me.” First guy says “that’s just like my story! I was having breakfast with my wife this morning, and I meant to say ‘please pass the cereal’, but I accidentally said ‘you bitch, you ruined my life!’” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/550 "2010-01-28T10:46:53Z")
[quote=“Uncle\_Brother\_Walker, post:541, topic:523865”] Einstein yells back, “I know I can’t outrun a bear. I only have to outrun _you_.” * * * The Tridville Dragon smacked his lips slowly and replied, “Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Trids.” * * * Two molecules are doing the town, just being pals when a bit of roughhousing and horseplay ensues. All of a sudden, one of them says, “Wait – I’ve lost an electron.” The other one asks, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yeah, I’m positive!” * * * Zero points. Zero points. Zero points. Let’s see…zero times three equals…Zero 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/551 "2010-01-28T10:47:53Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Why do Jews have large noses? > > Air is free! > > A moyul has a pretty good job. The pay’s not great, but you get a lot of tips. > > Did you see on the news the other night about the little boy who was born with no eyelids? Fortunately, when they performed the circumcision, they were able to fashion new eyelids for him out of the leftover skin. The only problem is that now he’s cockeyed. > > Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn’t keep her pupils straight. And zero times 4 is also zero. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/552 "2010-01-28T10:49:11Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > I meant to say ‘please pass the cereal’, but I accidentally said ‘you bitch, you ruined my life!’" Zero points. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/553 "2010-01-28T14:59:27Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > What do you call a one-legged girl? > > Eileen. > > What do you call a one-legged girl from Japan? > > Irene. Where do they both work? IHOP. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/554 "2010-01-28T15:26:33Z")
> [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](#): > > …The Tridville Dragon smacked his lips slowly and replied, “Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Trids.” > > I’ll bet you green money you’ve never heard that one before. 🙂 > … Gimme my money. I first heard that in the early Seventies; it was quite popular in my elementary school. 😃 * * * Satan is bored and decides to go have some fun on Earth. So he appears in the middle of a Baptist church service in a small town, revealed in all of his evil splendor in a giant cloud of fire and brimstone. Everyone in the church screams and runs out except for one crusty old codger seated in the front row, who doesn’t budge. The Prince of Darkness, flaming pitchfork in hand, his monstrous wings outstretched, leans down and says, “May I ask why aren’t you scared of me, sir?” The codger scoffs and crosses his arms. “Ha! Been married to your sister for 42 years.” * * * A barnstorming pilot is selling rides at a Vermont county fair. He notices a grizzled old farmer and his wife looking over the plane and says, “Five minutes for five dollars, folks - you’ll have a great time!” The farmer shakes his head. “That’s too much. I’d never pay that much for a ride in one of these newfangled contraptions.” The pilot says on a whim, “Tell you what, mister. I’ll take you and your wife up for five minutes. If you can both be completely silent for the entire ride, it’s free. Otherwise you pay me five bucks afterwards. What do you say?” The farmer and his wife huddle briefly and agree. The pilot takes them up and gives them the ride of a lifetime: spins, loops, turns, steep climbs and even steeper dives. The farmer and his wife don’t make a sound. Eventually the pilot lands and says, “I gotta hand it to you, mister, you’re pretty tough. Most people would’ve been screaming their heads off after just a minute of that.” “Five dollars is five dollars,” the farmer says. “I’ll admit, though, I almost said something after my wife fell out.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/555 "2010-01-28T15:44:30Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > Where do they both work? > > IHOP. Zero points. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/556 "2010-01-28T15:45:33Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The codger scoffs and crosses his arms. “Ha! Been married to your sister for 42 years.” > > * * * > > “Five dollars is five dollars,” the farmer says. “I’ll admit, though, I almost said something after my wife fell out.” ```auto Zero points. 8 points. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/557 "2010-01-28T15:56:34Z")
:: tugs nervously at necktie :: Tough crowd. Tough crowd! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/558 "2010-01-28T15:57:25Z")
This joke works best if you say all dialogue in an exaggerated Italian accent: One day, after hours painting the celing of the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo decided to take a break. He looked down from the scaffolding and saw that the church was empty except for one frail old Italian lady saying her prayers. Michelangelo was a bit irreverent and loved playing practical jokes, so he called down to her, “Old laaaaaadyyyyy, this is Jesus talking to youuuuu…” The old woman went on saying her prayers, and never even looked up. Michelangelo thought, “Maybe the old lady is hard of hearing. I’ll try again.” He intoned, “Old laaaadyyyyy, this is Jesus talking to youuuuuu…” The old lady stirred for a moment, but never looked up, and kept on saying her prayers. Finally, Michelangelo decided to give his joke one last try, and called in his loudest voice, “OOOOOLD LAAAADYYYY, THIS IS JEEESUS TALKING TO YOOOUUUU…” At last, she looked up angrily and yelled, “Shaddup a you face! I’m-a talk-a to your MOTHER!!!” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/559 "2010-01-28T18:26:42Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Just sent to me via email: > > SECURITY ALERTS IN WESTERN EUROPE > > In the light of the recent attempt to bring down a commercial aircraft by > terrorists the English have raised their security level from “Miffed” to > “Peeved.” Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to > “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” > since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have > been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time > the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588 when > threatened by the Spanish Armada. > > The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the > Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have > been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. > > The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror > alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are > “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire > that destroyed Frances white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the > country’s military capability. It’s not only the French who are on a > heightened level of alert. > > Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to > “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat > Operations” and “Change Sides.” > > The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to > “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher > levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” > > Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only > threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. > > The Spanish are all excited to have their new submarines ready to deploy. > These beautifully-designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy > can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy. We’d hate to leave out the antipodean cousins, so: New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”. Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “I hope Australia will come and rescue us”. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate”. Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”. So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. ---
**Author:** ![Rain\_Soaked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rain\_Soaked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rain_Soaked)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865/560 "2010-01-28T18:51:24Z")
I remember reading this on the Dope a long time ago and always liked it… A man goes into the doctor and complains about a bright orange rash around his crotch. The doctor asks him to drop his pants and sure enought there is a bright orange rash. The doctor is stumped. He says it may be because of stress. “Have you had changes in your job?” The man says, “Well I lost my job a few months ago.” The doctor says, “Maybe that is causing it?” “No, the old job was horrible and I’ve got a new job with more pay and I’m really enjoying it.” The doctor asks, “What about your marriage?” “Well, I was just divorced…” “Maybe that is it.” The man explained, “No, my wife was a real bitch and I’m very happy to be without her.” The doctor says, “I’m at a loss. I can’t think of any reason for this.” The man says, “Me too Doc! I don’t have any real stress now. I just come home from work and watch porn movies and eat Cheetos.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-different-sort-of-joke-thread/523865.md?page=29)