# A discussion about posers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741 "2014-05-19T15:56:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/61 "2014-05-20T23:42:04Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > Am I understanding correctly that you go to AA or NA but you don’t have issues with substance addiction? This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve read recently. > > Posing in 12 step recovery groups could potentially really damage a very vulnerable person. People fighting addictions can be fragile and gullible. Posing at AA is deplorable. In fact, I would say such behavior surpasses posing and borders on predatory. Maybe he’s from Fight Club, but can’t say. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/62 "2014-05-20T23:48:29Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] Maybe he’s from Fight Club, but can’t say. [/QUOTE] I thought about asking him this, but the first rule about fight club is…well you know… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/63 "2014-05-20T23:53:48Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Going hiking because you enjoy it, or going with people isn’t itself a poser thing. It’s when hiking is used as a smokescreen for other ends. You don’t consider other people just walking a trail and making small talk. But if you are out somewhere remote, and a guy is pestering you, asking inappropriate questions and making you feel unsafe with his body language (blocking an escape path, dismissing your discomfort, staring inappropriately) you’re going to start to wonder if the guy is really in it for the hiking. So what the heck has any of this to do with being a poser? It has to do with being an inappropriate creep, but nothing to do with however much he may be representing about himself as a hiker extraordinaire. Generally, OP, _you_ come off as a poser to me. You always seem to try to be posing as one of the cool kids, dissing the “Aspies” and trying to make it sound like you’ve got it together. You always strike me as obsessed with comparing yourself to others, with putting others down to make yourself look better, and with general cluelessness about what makes someone actually come off as confident in their own lives and senses of self. ---
**Author:** ![Tiktaalik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@Tiktaalik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiktaalik)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/64 "2014-05-21T01:51:37Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > I went to a reunion last summer. It was…kind of weird. But OK. If you stop by DC and want a beer, let me know. I like to say I miss the old DC, when it was a shithole, but really I think I’m missing my youth. Cool. Might be up there this summer meeting an old friend or two that used to hang out at Poseurs. I have fond memories of those crazy days. I’ll pm you if it happens. Thanks! Not going hiking though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/65 "2014-05-21T02:25:19Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Lately, I have joined some associations that are 12 step groups that help people get away from alcohol or drug addiction. In addition, (get ready for this!), I’ve also joined message boards with the same idea. Wait, you go to AA meetings to pick up chicks? Dude, that’s just really, really sleazy, even by PUA standards. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/66 "2014-05-21T02:34:26Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > Am I understanding correctly that you go to AA or NA but you don’t have issues with substance addiction? This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve read recently. > Posing in 12 step recovery groups could potentially really damage a very vulnerable person. People fighting addictions can be fragile and gullible. Posing at AA is deplorable. In fact, I would say such behavior surpasses posing and borders on predatory. Especially given that, despite the guidelines to the contrary, those groups can definitely be meat markets. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait, you go to AA meetings to pick up chicks? Dude, that’s just really, really sleazy, even by PUA standards. Yes. It’s the absolute bottom of the barrel short of actual rape. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/67 "2014-05-21T02:34:52Z")
> [@BrianJ](#): > > 1. What sort of things do you think ‘many male geeks’ do to attract women? Historically…nothing. I kind of have no idea what the OP is talking about regarding “geek girls”. But I suppose every subculture has outsiders who want to emulate that culture for one reason or another. Typically they get specific details wrong, which creates a sort of “uncanny valley” effect of making them stand out as someone who is trying too hard. Then again, all subcultures are artificial anyway. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/68 "2014-05-21T11:06:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait, you go to AA meetings to pick up chicks? Dude, that’s just really, really sleazy, even by PUA standards. Especially if you take them out for drinks. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/69 "2014-05-21T15:23:11Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait, you go to AA meetings to pick up chicks? Dude, that’s just really, really sleazy, even by PUA standards. Not as bad as hanging around the battered women’s shelter! ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/70 "2014-05-22T16:17:19Z")
There is a saying in AA about going there to hook up: “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.” ---
**Author:** ![fuchsiagroan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9de0a6/32.png) [@fuchsiagroan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuchsiagroan)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741/71 "2014-05-22T23:41:38Z")
Identity isn’t so wrapped up in genre labels that a poser doing it “wrong” can ruin it for you. In Trainspotting a guy defends the Sick Boy character as knowing “a lot about Sean Connery”. Renton replies “That’s hardly a substitute!” I feel my interests connect me to very human things, makes my world bigger. But yeah, it’s not a replacement for taking a chance. Not being a mind reader I can’t know some guy is wearing a tshirt for points. Who cares if he is? In the end it’s their deal to get to know themselves and mine my own. It seems a waste to assume you pegged them for not doing it whatever dumb way someone said this group who likes this did that. I loved the freaks and geeks punk episode. The long timers test James Franco and he fails. He only knows the famous stuff. Please! It made me happy when he lets go same episode and plays d&d. Who cares if it’s the scene. Try to reach out, get past labels thing. I loved that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-discussion-about-posers/688741.md?page=3)