# A dorm etiquette primer
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 18, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896 "2002-10-18T21:25:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/1 "2002-10-18T21:25:15Z")
I do not often write Pit rants, as I am not very good at them. But occasionally I must rant disregard my lack of talent in this area and rant away.
I did not plan to spend my senior year living on a hall full of freshmen, but that is how things worked out and I am trying to take it in stride. I consider myself to be a tolerant person. I don’t complain about minor annoyances like loud conversations in the hallway late at night or a messy bathroom. But I do expect people to follow some basic rules of dorm etiquette. Actually, at this point I’d be happy with strict obedience to just one rule, and that rule is DO NOT OPEN MY DOOR AND BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
I am a very busy person. I also value my privacy. While I do not mind visits from hallmates, I would prefer it if you did not drop by several times a day for idle chitchat. But even that I was willing to put up with until you began to OPEN MY DOOR AND BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Admittedly, this has only happened twice, but that is twice too often. I had hoped that you might have learned your lesson after the first time, when I greeted you with a chilly “Do you _need_ something?”. How foolish I was! You have just done it again, and this time you did not even seem ashamed that you had OPENED MY DOOR AND BARGED INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
I realize that you are young, new to dorm life, and were possibly raised by wolves, but this is still unacceptable. If you knock and I do not answer, it is either because I am out or because I do not wish to be disturbed. I might be studying, listening to music, working on a paper, changing clothes, masturbating, taking a nap, or deliberately trying to avoid you. But it doesn’t really matter what I am doing, because common courtesy dictates that unless I shout out a cheery “Come in!” you should not OPEN MY DOOR AND BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
You seem like a nice enough girl, so I don’t want to have to yell at you about this instead of just ranting about it on a message board that you will never read. I also don’t want to have to keep my door locked at all times. But I am going to have to do one or the other if you continue to OPEN MY DOOR AND BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Or I suppose I could just take to hanging around in the nude. Not because I think that you would have the decency to be embarassed enough to leave me alone then, but because I think that the light reflecting off my sickly pale white flesh would be enough to permanently blind you the next time you OPEN MY DOOR AND BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Thank you.
---
### Author:  [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/2 "2002-10-18T21:38:39Z")
Does your door have a lock?
---
### Author:  [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/3 "2002-10-18T21:39:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*
> DO NOT OPEN MY DOOR AND BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Translation:
Ack! I’m dailing O on the pink telephone; jiffing the choosy mom. Go away! Go away!
Solution:
Lock Door.
---
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/4 "2002-10-18T21:41:25Z")
Yes, my door does have a lock, but I don’t want to bar my door like some Dark Ages feudal lord everytime I enter the room. I know I’m not a very good ranter, but I did say that in my OP.
---
### Author:  [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/5 "2002-10-18T21:46:19Z")
::Knock knock::
Well, \*\*somebody \*\* was going to do it sooner or later
It’s been a loooong time since I was in college - to give you some idea, the concept of co-ed dorms was at best a wishful thought to most of us guys - but I can empathize with you. There’s always a few clueless people who can’t seem to take a hint. Are you allowed to post things on your door, like a Do Not Disturb sign?
---
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/6 "2002-10-18T21:49:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by LurkMeister \*
> \*\*
> It’s been a loooong time since I was in college - to give you some idea, the concept of co-ed dorms was at best a wishful thought to most of us guys - but I can empathize with you._\*
Actually I live in an all-female dorm at a women’s college, but I’m sure that was also a wishful thought for many college guys. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/7 "2002-10-18T22:04:21Z")
I think the “masturbating” thing in the OP is what gave the impression you were a guy ranting. It’s rare to see females admit to masturbation. Stupid puritanical society in the US 😛
Enjoy,
Steven
---
### Author:  [@ghandi5569](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ghandi5569)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/8 "2002-10-18T22:08:47Z")
If you have a dry erase board or a chalkboard, you can put it on the door, and leave a note as to if you want visitors or not. That’s what I did in college. (When I was in and didn’t want visitors, I would leave a threat of “Death by 10,000 Slim Jims to any who enters here without permission”)
I didn’t lock the door to the room, simply because my roommate and I lost our keys by the second day of classes.
If the note on the door doesn’t help the situation, just start having lots and lots of naked time. Whoever is walking in without your permission will probably stop after they walk in on naked time. :eek:
---
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/9 "2002-10-18T22:19:58Z")
I don’t really want to discourage people from visiting at all, just from barging in. To that end, I have modified **LurkMeister** and **ghandi5569** ’s advice and placed a note on my dry-erase board reading
> [@](#):
>
> ATTN HALLMATES:
>
> Please do not open my door unless I have invited you in.
>
> I might be naked.
>
> Thank you,
>
> -Lamia
Let’s see if this does any good.
---
### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [October 18, 2002, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/10 "2002-10-18T22:50:53Z")
Heh, better hope your dorm stays all-female. A sign like that in a co-ed dorm would GUARANTEE barging in.
Enjoy,
Steven
---
### Author:  [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/11 "2002-10-19T01:14:25Z")
So, when you move out into The Bad Ol’ Real World[sup]tm[/sup], do you intend to leave your door unlocked?
Lock the freaking door and that way the morons who inhabit your hallway will discover that they can’t open the door. When you move into the aforementioned Real World[sup]tm[/sup], lock the freaking door and that way the cretins visiting/passing through/residing in your town/city/village/neighbourhood will discover they can’t just waltz into your place for whatever nefarious purpose they’ve in mind.
& Yes, I realize folks aren’t supposed to have nefarious purposes. There are those on this planet who do. That’s Life[sup]tm[/sup]. Get used to it.
---
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/12 "2002-10-19T01:22:28Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Mtgman_
> Heh, better hope your dorm stays all-female. A sign like that in a co-ed dorm would GUARANTEE barging in.
\*\*
Well, the school would have to start admitting men before any co-ed dorms were necessary, so I think I’m safe for now. 🙂
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Monty \*
> \*\*So, when you move out into The Bad Ol’ Real World[sup]tm[/sup], do you intend to leave your door unlocked?
> \*\*
I would certainly leave my door unlocked while I was in the room during the day if I lived in a building in which all exterior doors were always kept locked, security guards regularly patrolled the grounds, and everyone living in my building were bound by a rigidly enforced honor code not to do anything to harm me or my possessions.
---
### Author:  [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/13 "2002-10-19T01:34:51Z")
At my school, there was a young man who left his door unlocked while he slept. A drunk individual–not knowing where he was going–wandered inside and _urinated all over this foolish young man’s laptop_.
Moral of the story: lock your damn door if you don’t want it opened; you never know when something really weird will happen.
---
### Author:  [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/14 "2002-10-19T01:53:18Z")
Hey, the first time this kid barges into your room while you’re masturbating, that’ll teach her to knock but quick.
Or she’ll step into the room and shut the door behind her. _thumbs up_ 😉
---
### Author:  [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/15 "2002-10-19T03:29:28Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*
> \*\*
>
> Actually I live in an all-female dorm at a women’s college, but I’m sure that was also a wishful thought for many college guys. 🙂 \*\*
:smack:
My abject apologies, **Lamia**. For some reason while reading your OP I got it into my head that you were male; your username alone should have tipped me off, even if my memory of your past posts hadn’t done so.
---
### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/16 "2002-10-19T04:55:49Z")
No kidding, **Lamia**? I’m living in an all-female dorm at a women’s college, too (though I’m a first year). And I’ve been mistaken for a guy on this message board before. (What is it about the name Zoggie that shouts out testosterone?) Plus I like to have time to spank the- I mean, yeah, I like private time, too.
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/17 "2002-10-19T05:24:11Z")
Soooo…what would be so hard about saying “Hi, could you please knock before coming into my room? I’d sure appreciate that.”
No fight, no problem. I’m confused as to the problem. Her barging in or you not just saying “that bothers me, please don’t do it”
---
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/18 "2002-10-19T05:43:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zoggie \*
> \*\*No kidding, **Lamia**? I’m living in an all-female dorm at a women’s college, too (though I’m a first year).
> \*\*
Hey, you’re not one of the first years from my hall, are you? Peek out your door and tell me if you see me waving! 😉
I have discovered that there is really another Doper on my hall, but she tells me that she’s just a lurker who doesn’t even read the boards much anymore.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> And I’ve been mistaken for a guy on this message board before. (What is it about the name Zoggie that shouts out testosterone?)
> \*\*
What is it about the name Lamia? **LurkMeister** isn’t the first person to make the mistake (hope that makes you feel better, **LM** ), and it’s a much more feminine name than any I’ve ever used before!
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> Plus I like to have time to spank the- I mean, yeah, I like private time, too. \*\*
Don’t we all!
I usually (_usually_) do remember to lock my door for clothes-changing, naked dancing, and other “Lamia alone time”, and so far the great barger-iner has caught me doing nothing more scandalous than downloading mp3s (:o), but even barring embarassing situations I think it is very rude of people to just come into my room without being invited.
---
### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/19 "2002-10-19T05:49:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zette \*
> \*\*Soooo…what would be so hard about saying “Hi, could you please knock before coming into my room? I’d sure appreciate that.”
> \*\*
Oh she does knock, it’s just that _immediately after knocking_ she throws open the door.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> No fight, no problem. I’m confused as to the problem. Her barging in or you not just saying “that bothers me, please don’t do it” \*\*
I failed to mention this in my OP, but after the first time she did it she came back to apologize and say she wouldn’t come in without being asked again. The second time I was honestly too stunned to formulate a respone until after she left, which is why I just posted a rant instead.
---
### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2002, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dorm-etiquette-primer/132896/20 "2002-10-19T22:31:03Z")
**Lamia** , that sucks. But on the plus side, you get a single room, right? Yeah I’d like one of those right about now…I can’t wait till I get a domain of my own in which to do my own evil things. 🙂
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