# A fag by any other name...well is just a fag... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 14, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267 "2003-03-14T05:10:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bindrah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Bindrah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bindrah)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/61 "2003-03-14T18:11:54Z")
Wow. To be an incredibly open, fun and accepting community you really don’t hold back when someone offends or diasagrees with what you all say is acceptable. For the sake of retaining membership I will hold off on the hate speech. I want to clarify that it isn’t because you warm, witty, caring, kind-hearted people called me a fucking idiot. So be it. I’ve been called worse, honestly. Ino, i don’t make excuses for what I’ve posted. I truly was high on pain killers and alcohol last night and the night before. If I post something stupid, moronic or just plain dumb I don’t mind owning up to it. If by saying “faggoty fairy” expresses all of the negative connotations those two words carry together, even after I made clear it wasn’t directed at anyone in order to hurt or belittle, then maybe you all need to lighten up. It really isn’t important enough to argue over. Ok greck, you used hate speech.Hello, moderator, he called me a homo. Did anyone else see that? If I cannot use faggoty fairy to paint a picture, how can he call me a homo? niko, just breathe and relax, shithead. The word doesn’t offend me and that is why I used it. I’ve never even used fag in anyother post while I’ve been a member. I generally dont. You people became enraged and quickly began to put me down when I go against you social laws and mores. It’s silly. I’m an idiot, a shithead, a dummy because I think its ok to say fag, and you are all literary genuises, internet police and just plain ok because you refuse to be offended in your community.Bah. I am open to reason. I really am. I just cannot help but think that all this could have been avoided if you just overlooked those words and moved on. I wasn’t being hateful or hurtful. I openly said I’m gay so it was obvious I wasn’t using it as hate speech. I’m trying to adapt to this community by respecting your rules of capitalization, punctuation and correct grammar. I’m trying hard not to post and be a jerk, but you all should try as well. Try not to swoop in and be assholes because you disagree with another, no matter how silly you see the situation. I reread my post and see how anyone could tear it down and come up with nifty ways to make me look like an idiot, hell I did it to myself. Honestly if I came upon this post and saw how you were all acting whilst claiming to be a part of a friendly, open online community I would be a bit aprehensive. You are like a pack of wolves tearing away at my post. I ask again, where are the gay folks I’ve offended? ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/62 "2003-03-14T18:18:30Z")
Right here, bub. I said I was offended on Page 1. I even said so in a friendly way. And if you’re offended that people take offense at you saying something offensive, maybe it’s you who’d better lighten up. It’s an important issue to some of us. And I think that deserves your consideration. And now, a bit of free advice, worth just what you paid for it: alcohol and pain killers _bad_. Deadly stuff. Be really careful. And keep in mind that doing something while intoxicated still leaves you responsible for doing it when you’re sober. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/63 "2003-03-14T18:21:59Z")
“Meltingggggggg, I’m meltingggggggg!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bindrah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Bindrah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bindrah)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/64 "2003-03-14T18:44:28Z")
Fair enough. Also, I’m not trying to get out of anything by saying I was intoxicated. I made that a point in the baove post by saying I do not have a problem with owning up to anything I’ve posted. I believe we should all lighten up. I just cannot change my mind on this issue. I don’t see the harm in what I said in the way I used the words. Yes yes yes, i see how it can be offensive and hurtful. I’m not blind. My issue is still the same, I did not use it or mean it to offend anyone so I do not believe I should be told I can’t say it because its wrong. To answer a post about being friends with the fairy type, I am as well and I wasn’t saying I dislike feminine men. I’m saying by watching how I conduct myself one would not be able to tell I am gay(or bi or whatever). So please, if you want to continue this, don’t call me names. Thats offensive and just plain wrong. It offends and hurts so stop it. Idiot, especially fucking idiot is very offensive. You shouldn’t say those words because of the connotations that go along with it. Come on people I see your point and I want you to see mine without a whole lot of hurtful speech(even though this is the pit)…To be offended by what I said shows that you care about others, I dig it, but to totally blast me into next week over it is just mean. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/65 "2003-03-14T18:48:00Z")
The guy mixes opiates and alcohol for recreational purposes, posts, and we’re expecting coherency? Please. I learned long ago to not try to reason with individuals engaging in such behavior. Reasoned thought after that sort of behavior requires day, if not weeks of abstinence. QtM, MD ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/66 "2003-03-14T18:55:35Z")
So what you’re saying is that you see how saying “fag” could be offensive, but you don’t want people to tell you to stop. But when someone calls you a fucking idiot, you’re offended and you expect them to stop. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/67 "2003-03-14T18:57:31Z")
“I’m trying to adapt to this community by respecting your rules of capitalization, punctuation and correct grammar.” —Those are _our_ rules? Wow. I am ever more impressed with the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/68 "2003-03-14T19:12:30Z")
Why am I reminded vaguely of the late Phil Hartman? Bindrah is the Unfrozen Caveman Asshole- “your rules of grammar, punctuation, and decorum confuse me…” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/69 "2003-03-14T19:13:30Z")
“I’m trying to adapt to this community by respecting your rules of capitalization, punctuation and correct grammar.” Today, the SDMB. Tomorrow, the world! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/70 "2003-03-14T19:16:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bindrah \* > \*\*Actually I used faggoty fairy to describe what I am not. It offended a few and I tried to argue that I’m bi, i feel like I’m allowed to say that about myself. > I feel as though it’s ok to use the word to describe someone and not try to use it as ammo and hurt another. \*\* Do you not see that you used the term in a derrogatory manner? True, you did not use it against one individual. You did, however, you it against a group of people in order to show your superiority over them. To show you are better than them. Think about it for a second. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/71 "2003-03-14T19:48:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bindrah \* > \*\* I’m trying to adapt to this community by respecting your rules of capitalization, punctuation and correct grammar. \*\* Fighting ignorance since 1973 (it’s taking longer than we thought). ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/72 "2003-03-14T19:50:29Z")
I’ll bet I’m the only one who read the thread title as “A faq by any other name…” and thought it was going to be a rant about Frequently Asked Question files. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/73 "2003-03-14T19:57:21Z")
Nope, your not. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/74 "2003-03-14T19:57:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bindrah_\*\* > I just cannot help but think that all this could have been avoided if you just overlooked those words and moved on.\*\* Who opened this thread, again? For a little background on how this community handles more ‘inflammatory’ words, I suggest you look for threads on the word ‘cunt’. Some women aren’t bothered by it - many are. And a lot of our posters refrain from using it simply because it IS inflammatory and offensive to a lot of people, even if it is not so offensive to them. **niko996** , I’m going to suggest that you do a search on a little something called the Kinsey scale - sexual orientation has a lot more to do with what’s going on in your head (who you’re REALLY attracted to) than it does with who/what you’re sleeping with. But that’s a whole other can of worms. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/75 "2003-03-14T20:03:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bindrah \* > > ``` > I believe we should all lighten up. I just cannot change my mind on this issue. I don't see the harm in what I said in the way I used the words. Yes yes yes, i see how it can be offensive and hurtful. I'm not blind. > > ``` Think about the inherent contradiction in that paragraph > [@](#): > > ``` > So please, if you want to continue this, don't call me names. Thats offensive and just plain wrong. It offends and hurts so stop it. Idiot, especially fucking idiot is very offensive. You shouldn't say those words because of the connotations that go along with it. > > ``` So you want to call people “faggoty fairy” with impunity yet you get your knickers in a twist because people react to it negatively? You are, indeed, an idiot. > [@](#): > > Come on people I see your point and I want you to see mine without a whole lot of hurtful speech(even though this is the pit)…To be offended by what I said shows that you care about others, I dig it, but to totally blast me into next week over it is just mean. \*\* Stop your sniveling and take it like a man. As a gay man, I find the use of “faggoty fairy” demeaning and homophobic. And being bi does not disqualify you from having internalized homophobia. I grow so tired of the “I might suck dick, but at least my wrist never bends, so I’m all man” bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/76 "2003-03-14T20:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > I ask again, where are the gay folks I’ve offended? Here. I hope you get banned soon. At any rate, please go away. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/77 "2003-03-14T20:31:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by niko996 \* > It doesn’t matter weither or not you are bi-sexual. It’s Teddy KGB!!! (Sorry, I watched _Rounders_ last night) > [@](#): > > Actually I used faggoty fairy to describe what I am not. It offended a few and I tried to argue that I’m bi, i feel like I’m allowed to say that about myself. > \ > Most gay people i know aren’t offened by the words faggoty fairy. Its simply aother way of saying I’m not a bottom I will punch you in the face. I think I figured out who this guy is: that guy from the Onion article “I’m tired of all these gay guys sucking my dick.” (Alas, I could not find the link in the Onion’s archives). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/78 "2003-03-14T20:40:49Z")
Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but if someone who was black started using the word “nigger” here, as in referring to fellow blacks as niggers, or say, “I ain’t some dumb nigger”, they’d STILL get shit for it, and rightly so. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/79 "2003-03-14T21:02:37Z")
[Why do all the homosexuals keep sucking my cock?](http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/why_do_all_these.html) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267/80 "2003-03-14T21:08:21Z")
Oh, and Bindrah? I’m reasonably confident that I’m at least as much of a manly gay man as you are, and I’m not “offended” by your use of the term “faggoty fairy.” What I am _disgusted by_ is your apparent belief that someone who wants to fuck you deserves to be beaten. And the whole “str8-looking, str8-acting” thing? _So_ very tired. Try easing up on the overt self-loathing, m’kay? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fag-by-any-other-name-well-is-just-a-fag/161267.md?page=5)