# "A female's intelligence etc. is irrelevant to me..." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556 "2012-09-13T00:18:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/161 "2013-09-30T18:38:02Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > “…I don’t even care if she talks to me. All that matters to me is that I’m physically attracted to her and she is nice.” > > A guy I have been dating for a month or so told me this on Sunday. This actually wasn’t the first time he said this; during our first date, he expressed something similar. Except that time, he wasn’t talking about himself per se but rather what he thought men in general want from women. Or “females” as he frequently refers to them. > > He maintained that as long as he has football and guy friends, he doesn’t have a need to seek out deep conversation with the woman he’s seeing. It is enough for her to sit there and be quiet in his company or listen to him talk. > > Obviously, hearing him express this view point has turned me off and I am no longer seeing him. I can’t even remember how we got on that subject, but the fact that this is the second he has brought this up has sealed in my mind that we have radically different value systems (on top of the sexism). There are other issues that have me turned off him, but this is the nail in the coffin. > > Women of the Dope, have you ever heard a guy voice this sentiment to you? If so, what was your reaction to it? I haven’t ruled out the possibility that there may be women out there who would be fine with their mate having such a preference. > > Men of the Dope, any there any among you who either share this sentiment or see nothing bothersome with it to the extent that you can’t grok why a woman would be turned off by it? And you went out with him more than once? I’ve had men express similar sentiments but never quite so flat out “don’t worry your pretty little head about it” as that! And the ones that did? They didn’t get another date. That’s pretty much non-negotiable in my book. ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/162 "2013-10-02T04:49:51Z")
Intelligence doesn’t matter much to me too for both male and female friends… ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/163 "2013-10-02T04:56:31Z")
If the person is nice to talk to, cheerful, helping, then thts all I ask for. I think I would be able to take interest in interests of such people. ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/164 "2013-10-02T09:13:37Z")
in a relationship intelligence is the biggest turn on. with a twist. wit. the mental turn on for me is the key. himbos and bimbos are a dime a dozen. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/165 "2013-10-02T13:36:47Z")
Men and women are intelligent at different things. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/166 "2013-10-02T13:38:46Z")
I don’t see the problem. Are we not all allowed our own preferences ? ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/167 "2013-10-02T14:18:34Z")
artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/168 "2013-10-02T15:58:23Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Men and women are intelligent at different things. Can you clarify what you mean by this? ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/169 "2013-10-02T20:34:20Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > And you went out with him more than once? > > I’ve had men express similar sentiments but never quite so flat out “don’t worry your pretty little head about it” as that! And the ones that did? They didn’t get another date. That’s pretty much non-negotiable in my book. I think the subtext here is that he was really hot and/or good in bed. 🙂 Anyway, I have run into this sort of man-love before…where a guy (nominally straight) considers his male friends his only true peers, and the level of misogyny is almost borderline homoerotic. The idea that you can \*fuck \*a woman, but you could only \*make love \*to a man. I suppose this is where I should declare, for clarification, that I find that sort of world view abhorrent. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/170 "2013-10-02T20:45:25Z")
> [@Stonebow](#): > > I think the subtext here is that he was really hot and/or good in bed. 🙂 > > Anyway, I have run into this sort of man-love before…where a guy (nominally straight) considers his male friends his only true peers, and the level of misogyny is almost borderline homoerotic. The idea that you can \*fuck \*a woman, but you could only \*make love \*to a man. > > I suppose this is where I should declare, for clarification, that I find that sort of world view abhorrent. Really? I missed that completely. 🙂 Yeah, I’ve met, dated, and even had a few men that were like this, but once I discovered it, the were GMFs, usually before any hanky panky occurred, but I could, back in the day, occasionally be fooled. 😃 For me, I’m not interested in one night stands, though of course they happen when you don’t want them to (meaning, you think it’s leading to something but it doesn’t pan out, and it’s too late). So the hotness factor wouldn’t do it, not now that I know better anyway (and now that I’m of the age where intelligence figures GREATLY re: hotness factor). I’d have to know what his thoughts were on women first. Which, now that I think of it, makes a great screening tool, men who don’t want anything more than a piece, would cut it short if any conversation were happening right? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/171 "2013-10-02T23:17:42Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Which, now that I think of it, makes a great screening tool, men who don’t want anything more than a piece, would cut it short if any conversation were happening right? The thing is, the guy in the OP never did that. He seemed to enjoy our conversations a lot. Which is probably why it didn’t occur to me that all he was interested in was a doll. This thread is a year old, by the way. For all I know, the guy has met and married his dream woman. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/172 "2013-10-02T23:39:53Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > The thing is, the guy in the OP never did that. He seemed to enjoy our conversations a lot. Which is probably why it didn’t occur to me that all he was interested in was a doll. > > This thread is a year old, by the way. For all I know, the guy has met and married his dream woman. ARGH! Usually I catch on to zombies more quickly. At any rate, good point. It’s odd that his actions were so at odds with his words though. Those are the types that can fool you. The only answer is to hold off having sex long enough to hear the real deal from them. And that’s awfully hard to do sometimes. 😃 I ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/173 "2013-10-02T23:48:15Z")
> [@truthSeeker2](#): > > If the person is nice to talk to, cheerful, helping, then thts all I ask for. I think I would be able to take interest in interests of such people. I glanced at this post, and read part of it as, “tits are all I ask for.” Most guys aren’t so open about that! 😛 > [@Mrmanface](#): > > Men and women are intelligent at different things. I think someone has been giving you faulty information. Women and men are _people_, and must each be evaluated on an individual basis. ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/174 "2013-10-03T01:38:13Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Can you clarify what you mean by this? > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I glanced at this post, and read part of it as, “tits are all I ask for.” Most guys aren’t so open about that! 😛 > > I think someone has been giving you faulty information. Women and men are _people_,I and must each be evaluated on an individual basis. I think what Mrmanface meant is - because women n men are physically (including hormonally) different , their interests vary a lot of times. And they are intelligent in whatever things they are interested in. But of course, women and men are equally capable and equally incapable in all fields. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/175 "2013-10-03T01:59:21Z")
> [@](#): > > “A female’s intelligence etc. is irrelevant to me…” > “…I don’t even care if she talks to me. All that matters to me is that I’m physically attracted to her and she is nice.” I know there are guys out there who feel this way, and I know some of those guys personally, but I don’t understand the mindset at all. If you are thinking of spending a lifetime with a woman, don’t you want one who can hold up her end of a conversation? Anything else seems to me a recipe for boredom and frustration. I have ended more than one relationship because I found the woman to be intellectually dull (though physically beautiful). ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/176 "2013-10-03T02:08:33Z")
> [@Spoke](#): > > I know there are guys out there who feel this way, and I know some of those guys personally, but I don’t understand the mindset at all. If you are thinking of spending a lifetime with a woman, don’t you want one who can hold up her end of a conversation? Anything else seems to me a recipe for boredom and frustration. > > I have ended more than one relationship because I found the woman to be intellectually dull (though physically beautiful). Maturity and being sensible is more important than intelligence imo. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/177 "2013-10-03T10:52:39Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Can you clarify what you mean by this? Aside from the obvious biological qualities… Women can be incredibly stupid and do lots of stupid shit. They’re much more focused on sex, in everything but having actual sexual intercourse. They’re just incomprehensibly moronic at times, they can be shallow to the extent that you wonder is there anyone home inside her head beside a fluttering mess of hormones and social conditioning, but we love them for it and the world would be a whole lot shittier without them. I love all the stupid stuff that women do and the way that even when they go to the gym, they must wear matching colors. They must do their hair and not only that have a set group of rotating work outfits. Then they carry around bottles of water, but don’t sweat and walk on the tread mill while reading Cleo articles about god knows what pointless crap. I don’t hate women. I don’t think women have less of an intellectual capacity than men. I just think that overall they prefer not to use it and prefer to focus on pictures of puppies on the internet and ways to make their own puppies look more appealing. When I think of the woman I one day dream to marry I don’t think of someone who can beat me at chess, I think of a warm, warm hearted individual who do all of the motherly/wifey things that make women so special. There is a lot to be said about a woman’s attention to detail and baking is also just so damned sexy. Sexiest thing a woman can do for me, bake me a cake. Save the political analogies for your girlfriends 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/178 "2013-10-03T16:04:10Z")
Well…uh…thanks, **Mrmanface** , but you didn’t really clarify how “men and women are intelligent at different things.” Instead, you carefully enumerated the ways in which women are stupid. Hey, whatever floats your boat. All I’ve got to say is that you clearly know different women than I do. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/179 "2013-10-03T19:30:06Z")
Man here. The cares quoted in the OP sound pathetic and a bit too cocky. I’m constantly amazed how much there is to like and care about in other people. I think this matters more for our mate than for any other person we know. How sad! I don’t think there are many men who think anything nearly this disappointing, but then the world is a pretty big place, so I don’t know. The several men I talk to in a deep and open way have never said anything like this. Honest. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/180 "2013-10-03T20:12:59Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Aside from the obvious biological qualities… > > Women can be incredibly stupid and do lots of stupid shit. They’re much more focused on sex, in everything but having actual sexual intercourse. They’re just incomprehensibly moronic at times, they can be shallow to the extent that you wonder is there anyone home inside her head beside a fluttering mess of hormones and social conditioning, but we love them for it and the world would be a whole lot shittier without them. > > I love all the stupid stuff that women do and the way that even when they go to the gym, they must wear matching colors. They must do their hair and not only that have a set group of rotating work outfits. Then they carry around bottles of water, but don’t sweat and walk on the tread mill while reading Cleo articles about god knows what pointless crap. > > I don’t hate women. I don’t think women have less of an intellectual capacity than men. I just think that overall they prefer not to use it and prefer to focus on pictures of puppies on the internet and ways to make their own puppies look more appealing. > > When I think of the woman I one day dream to marry I don’t think of someone who can beat me at chess, I think of a warm, warm hearted individual who do all of the motherly/wifey things that make women so special. There is a lot to be said about a woman’s attention to detail and baking is also just so damned sexy. > > Sexiest thing a woman can do for me, bake me a cake. Save the political analogies for your girlfriends 🙂 ha ha ha ha!!! I don’t know what this is. But it made me\* laugh. Thank you! \*Woman, lawyer, collegiate athlete, mother, wife, occassional viewer of internet puppies What the hell is Cleo??? BTW, I’m finding the September 2013 joiners to be truly exceptional. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556.md?page=10)