Best Buy, you sons of bitches.
I’m hired to work in media. Great. But, oooh, we’re short in computers. Can you work over there for a while? Okay. Fast forward nine months. I hate my job. I hate my boss. I hate his ugly, sniveling fucking face. Bastard. But what I hate most is bending people over and fucking them in the ass and making them go home thinking they enjoyed it.
First you sell them a computer. But make sure you have a PSP on it. Then sell them a battery backup. Then some blanks. Oops, you’ll need a labeling kit for those blanks, cuz a labeling pen isn’t good enough. Whatzzat? You wanted a printer, too? Okay. Here’s a godawful expensive one. Now, you’ll need a cable. No, that $10 isn’t good enough. You need the $40 one we have over here. Look, it’s prettier, too. Now you need extra inks. If four blacks and three colors enough? Never mind that you won’t use that much in in three fucking years. Now that you’ve got a good printer, you’ll want some good paper, too. Yes, amazingly, we have a value pack. But if you’re going to be doing all this printing, you’ll need a cleaner. It’s only $20 and it’ll last you six months. Hey, now, since you’ve got all this money invested in this printer, don’t forget a service plan incase it goes south. Never mind that the warranty should cover you. Geez. Now that you’ve got all this stuff, I’m sure you’ll want a scanner, too. Well, since you have a scanner, you’re going to want a PSP for it, also. Hey, it might get dirty. Better pick up a cleaning kit. You say you want to play games on your computer. Better get a new video card. I have one right here for you. Uh-oh, we better install that for you. Hey, if you’re getting a better video card, you may want a new sound card, too. What’s the point in good sound with cheap speakers? Let’s get you some better ones. Oops, those may break. Let’s get you a PSP. Do you need a PC camera? Let’s grab one of those, too. Let’s install that sound card for you, too. Hey, if you’re upgrading this, you’re going to need more memory, also. We can install that, too. Why are you buying a computer like this if you don’t have any games? Let’s go pick out some of those. Since you’re about a smart as a bag of hair, we’ll install those for ONLY $20 per disc. Encarta? Yeah. We have it. Only 7 discs. That’s a mere $140 to install. Wow, sir, you’re all set up. Let’s get you a Best Buy credit card for that. Makes it a little easier on the ol’ wallet, eh? Well then, let’s go up front. I think we’re ready. Ooooh, one last thing. Before we get outta here with this, do you want us to do a setup for you? It’s only $20 and it guarantees you to have a working machine when you get home. We’ll even show your retarded ass how to plug the color coded plugs into the color coded holes. It’s brain surgery, really. ::rings up purchase:: That’ll be $3587.92, please. “But the ad says only $799.99” Well, sir, that’s before all these added value options you wanted. Good day, and thanks for the good blow job.
This chaps my ass.
Best Buy realized that we were losing money on people returning computers that were BOOB (bad out of box). So we decided to save ourselves the time and hassle, we’d do a setup on every machine we sell. Target at 70% of sales. We hit target. We surpass, to a bout 95%. Hey, these things are getting popular, people are actually requesting them, now.
Starting last week, they are now $19.95 per setup.
Nothing like creating a false demand to save yourself money, then finding a way to MAKE money off of saving yourself money.
Fucking bastards.
Someone’s going to come in here waving the capitalism flag, celebrating them for a good job. Capitalism is a good thing, yes, but Geez, people. There’s a difference between taking initiative and making a buck and FUCKING the public.
Yeah, people are cows. And people allow this to be done to them. But these fuckers should have some shame and responsibility.
Writing this has forced my hand on one topic. I’m going to quit this week.
–Tim
Best Buy Free Since Now
You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. - Coldfire