# A few misconceptions about real-life Ninjas, cleared up **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 20, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467 "2004-03-20T22:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/201 "2004-03-27T02:33:11Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > True story: In the late 80s, I wore a Dreamland t-shirt one day in DisneyWorld. No fewer than four people came up to me that day, either complimenting me on my taste in clothing and barbecue or cussing at me for making them want Dreamland when they couldn’t have any. Dreamland? The BBQ place? We have one of those up here. I’m getting the impression that it’s worth my time to swing in there, as I am a lover of fine, barbeque-sauce based cuisine. Is my impression accurate? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/202 "2004-03-29T14:40:17Z")
Hmm. To my knowledge, there are only two Dreamland locations – the original one in Tuscaloosa, and a recent one opened in Birmingham’s Southside a few years back. The Tuscaloosa location is a dive. Seriously. It’s a shack. The Birmingham location is an honest-to-God restaurant, with windows and everything. It’s possible Dreamland has begun franchising, but I’m not aware of it. Anyway, the original Dreamland BBQ is just amazing. For the longest time, they had a very limited menu: ribs, white bread, potato chips, Coke. I think they had Moon Pies for dessert, but I could be wrong. If you wanted a barbecue sandwich, you got three ribs on two pieces of white bread. They’ve since expanded their menu, and now they have a variety of side items and desserts. Purists will insist that it’s not as good now as it was before the menu expanded. Others welcome the variety – such as it is. But dear God, it is good eatin’. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/203 "2004-03-29T14:58:47Z")
I would be careful, DMR is apparently a NINJA by occupation, so he/she may have to hunt you down and kill you for questioning his/her. ’ BS aside, have you ever heard of Archiball’s? It was a little wood shack down a dirt road under a railroad bridge in Tuscaloosa that had the best GD ribs ever?(i said bridge only because I couldn’t remember if it was “trestle” or trustle, or some other spelling) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/204 "2004-03-29T15:12:37Z")
So? When is **NinjaChick** gonna show us her KAMEHAMEHA Wave attack? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/205 "2004-03-29T15:16:29Z")
_stealthily sneaks into thread_ _Dashes around cutting off the heads of those who disagree with me_ _Slides back out, still unnoticed, into the cover of night._ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/206 "2004-03-29T15:34:02Z")
> [@](#): > > ¿…Y en que cama dormimos juntos? en la cama que tu quieres, quando tengas 18 anos. Si no me quitas la cabeza. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/207 "2004-03-29T16:11:13Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Hmm. To my knowledge, there are only two Dreamland locations – the original one in Tuscaloosa, and a recent one opened in Birmingham’s Southside a few years back. [Is this them?](http://www.dreamlandbbq.com/main/locations.asp) Exploring the Finer BBQ Joints of the South is one of my ongoing Missions on Life, you see, so now I must make a pilgrimage there. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/208 "2004-03-29T16:12:34Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Hmm. To my knowledge, there are only two Dreamland locations – the original one in Tuscaloosa, and a recent one opened in Birmingham’s Southside a few years back. > > The Tuscaloosa location is a dive. Seriously. It’s a shack. The Birmingham location is an honest-to-God restaurant, with windows and everything. > > It’s possible Dreamland has begun franchising, but I’m not aware of it. > > Anyway, the original Dreamland BBQ is just amazing. For the longest time, they had a very limited menu: ribs, white bread, potato chips, Coke. I think they had Moon Pies for dessert, but I could be wrong. If you wanted a barbecue sandwich, you got three ribs on two pieces of white bread. They’ve since expanded their menu, and now they have a variety of side items and desserts. Purists will insist that it’s not as good now as it was before the menu expanded. Others welcome the variety – such as it is. > > But dear God, it is good eatin’. Sorry for the hijack (NINJA ATTACK), but Dreamland must surely have franchised as we have one in Roswell, GA that hasn’t been here but for a few years. Instead of Wonder bread, they offer Sunbeam bread (a local brand), and have all of the standard bbq fare. My favorite is their BIG salad that has about 43 pounds of pulled chicken or pork on it. Add a little blue cheese or ranch and it is heaven. Oh, and to heck with the properness of anything else, I LIKE the name Ninjachick, it has a nice ring, and I’m a 33-year old married dude (not a perv). ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/209 "2004-03-29T16:37:50Z")
> [@GMRyujin](#): > > [Is this them?](http://www.dreamlandbbq.com/main/locations.asp) > > Exploring the Finer BBQ Joints of the South is one of my ongoing Missions on Life, you see, so now I must make a pilgrimage there. That’s them. I didn’t know they had so many locations. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/210 "2004-03-29T17:47:19Z")
Sweet! To the Ribmobile! _peppy music plays_ ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/211 "2004-03-29T20:33:14Z")
I’m gonna drag this hijack out just a little longer. \*\*GMRyujin \*\* - there will be a Bamadope this weekend. Please consider yourself invited. We are talking about different restaurants and hadn’t thought of Dreamland. I’m sure it would be a welcome suggestion. \*\*askeptic \*\* - too bad you’re so far away. Maybe I can send you some BBQ sauce? Personally, I’m a purist. There’s just something about walking in to a joint where your only choice is whether you’ll have one slab or two while you’re sitting under a big sign that says “No coleslaw, no fries. Don’t ask.” ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/212 "2004-03-30T05:50:44Z")
Rez, you can certainly send me some sauce anytime, if you sent a slab of pork ribs with it I might even be willing to name my first born after you. Also, eventhough the B’ham Dreamland has that sign they advertize [this](http://www.dreamlandbbq.com/birmingham/catering.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/213 "2004-03-30T06:25:51Z")
> [@Rez](#): > > I’m gonna drag this hijack out just a little longer. > \*\*GMRyujin \*\* - there will be a Bamadope this weekend. Please consider yourself invited. We are talking about different restaurants and hadn’t thought of Dreamland. I’m sure it would be a welcome suggestion. > > Personally, I’m a purist. There’s just something about walking in to a joint where your only choice is whether you’ll have one slab or two while you’re sitting under a big sign that says “No coleslaw, no fries. Don’t ask.” I appreciate it, **Rez** , but the GF has to work all weekend and she’ll need the car to do that (and I’m not sure I could manage a 3 hour drive, quick dinner, then 3 hour drive back! Especially barbeque, man, I usually hafta be trucked outta the restaurant/rib joint like Hannibal and then I spend the rest of the day half asleep and digesting. I’m good for about 30 minutes, tops, before I slip into a happy BBQ-induced haze…). However, when do I go to Dreamland, I’ll think fondly of all you 'Bama Dopers. 😃 And I agree. It is my considered opinion that anyplace where you don’t end up in barbeque sauce up to your elbows is not a true barbeque joint. I went to a place once where the credit card used to pay, when it came back, was covered in grease. Thus, I knew I had a superior dining experience. ---
**Author:** ![agiantdwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8c91f0/32.png) [@agiantdwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agiantdwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/214 "2004-03-30T07:28:22Z")
I’ve taken a kung fu class 3 times a week for the past 3-4 months. It’s really cool. But hell if I’d ever even consider using half the stuff they teach me, should I get into a fight. Teacher: Parry the two punches, then throw a fu-jow to his face Me: OK. What next? Teacher: Shot to the groin Me: :eek: Teacher: you want to slice through his fingers and then slash his throat Me: :eek: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/215 "2004-03-30T16:09:58Z")
I’d reconsider, **agiantdwarf** , if you get in a fight, you need to take em out as fast and painlessly (for you) as possible. You only have to fight fair if you’re in the boxing ring. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/216 "2004-03-30T22:59:31Z")
**agiantdwarf** I’m confused. Why would you not use these techniques in a fight? **GMRyujin** is correct. A man who had lived in Israel for several years once told me that in Krav M’ga (I doubt that’s the correct transliteration), the official martial art of the Israeli armed forces (officially the Israeli Defense Force), every move is followed by a hit to the crotch. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/217 "2004-03-30T23:15:23Z")
If you get into a fight, you cannot be sure if the other guy just wants to rough you up a little or kill you. Therefore, you don’t fuck around, you incapacitate the person and make your escape. Maybe that means a kick to the groin, maybe dislocating their shoulder, maybe worse if the other person seems intent on inflicting worse to you. “Honor” and “fairness” have no place in a violent encounter; this is why it’s best to avoid them if at all possible. ---
**Author:** ![agiantdwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8c91f0/32.png) [@agiantdwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agiantdwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/218 "2004-03-30T23:45:59Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > **agiantdwarf** I’m confused. Why would you not use these techniques in a fight? **GMRyujin** is correct. A man who had lived in Israel for several years once told me that in Krav M’ga (I doubt that’s the correct transliteration), the official martial art of the Israeli armed forces (officially the Israeli Defense Force), every move is followed by a hit to the crotch. Actually, my “Sifu” (teacher) trained in Krav Maga, so that might explain all the crotch shots. What I meant is, I won’t bust out the punches below the belt in a fight at school. You do **NOT** a) pull hair b) bite or c) punch a guy in the balls. They’re the unwritten (well, it’s written now) rules of fighting, from what I’ve gathered. ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/219 "2004-03-31T06:38:59Z")
I’m a master ninja. Everything I know about martial arts comes from [Power Rangers Ninja Storm](http://www.gbadviser.com/eb.php?pid=236662). The Gameboy game is arguably the best retrospective on this subculture of invisible assassins that was ever created. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/220 "2004-03-31T14:52:26Z")
> [@agiantdwarf](#): > > What I meant is, I won’t bust out the punches below the belt in a fight at school. You do **NOT** a) pull hair b) bite or c) punch a guy in the balls. They’re the unwritten (well, it’s written now) rules of fighting, from what I’ve gathered. I think different martial arts teach different fighting philosophies. Realistically, if I’m in a street fight, I will do everything possible to incapacitate my opponent, before he can do it to me. So, I can do one of four things: 1. Pull your hair. 2. Sweeping kick to your knee, blowing it out. 3. Punch to the throat, with the intent of collapsing your trachea. 4. Eye gouge, to blind you. (Warning: Eye may come out of socket causing dizziness or nausea. Do not operate heavy machinery). Since #1 is out, take your pick of the other three. If you absolutely have to fight, then end it quickly and decisively, and get the hell out of there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467.md?page=12)