# A few misconceptions about real-life Ninjas, cleared up **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 20, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467 "2004-03-20T22:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![wolfsbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/aeb1de/32.png) [@wolfsbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfsbane)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/141 "2004-03-24T22:02:14Z")
**rimshotgdansk** , I think we agree on way more than we disagree about. And I agree that sometimes I would like to tell some of my cow-orkers about the benefits of training, especially to those suffering from stress, overweight, smoking, etc. I suppose if someone who really needed help came to me privately and pointedly asked me how I manage to stay fit and low-stress, I might tell them a bit and perhaps help them find a dojo to train in. But that’s a far cry from the stereotypical guy whose always bragging at work or school about “being a black belt” and engaging in behavior like ninjacheck, ie pretending to “absently bow” when entering the office breakroom just to get attention, y’know. That was basically the point of my post. Happy training. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/142 "2004-03-24T22:04:31Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I just love watching you karate assholes brag about your martial arts while belittling each other for bragging about their martial arts. Makes me feel better about being a couch potato. No shit. I like talking to people about my interests. If they don’t understand them I don’t mind explaining them. This “I hate having to explain my hobby/sport/skill but, by the way, I’m a black belt/master/Ph.D/king cockblaster at it” is almost as irritating as the IQ threads where people post “I don’t think IQ means anything, it’s just a test. By the way, my IQ is 173. Doesn’t mean a thing, of course. 173.” The best part though was the part when NinjaChick said she sometimes accidentally does a martial arts bow when handing in a test or walking into homeroom. That was the highlight of the thread, easy. Why, I remember all those times when I was in the Armed Forces (_I_ am allowed to casually refer to it as the Army, as in “Crap crap crap I’m gonne be late getting to my job in the Army,” but you are not) I accidentally saluted my professor or yelled “ROOM!” when one walked into class. Oh no, wait, I didn’t do those things at all. And “The Karate Assholes” would be an excellent name for a rock band. ---
**Author:** ![Nightime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nightime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightime)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/143 "2004-03-24T22:05:11Z")
Like NinjaChick, I do tae kwon do. But I haven’t had to put up with too many annoying questioners. Maybe because: 1. I don’t bow when I come into class. 2. I don’t spend the entire class drawing pictures of katas. 3. During recess, I don’t go off to the side and practice jumping spin kicks, while glaring at anyone who watches. 4. When people are discussing martial arts movies, I don’t jump in to tell them how they are all garbage. 5. I don’t constantly tell people that I’ve got to be going, as I have “karate” that day. OK, I’m kind of joking with you here NinjaChick, but still, the point is that if you are going to be so obvious about your martial arts background, then you have to expect people to ask you about it. In fact, they probably feel that you are begging them to ask. Given that, you should answer nicely, instead of saying it is “too complicated” for them. If you are really incapable of being nice to those who ask questions, then you should avoid making it seem like you want questions asked (by being so obvious about it). ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/144 "2004-03-24T22:10:41Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > All I’m sayin’ is that you could stand a little more diplomacy in your responses to her. You don’t gotta be, but that fly thing stands. > > Daniel And once again, SHE could catch more flies with honey as well. I’m not the only one being assinine. That’s all I’m trying to say. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/145 "2004-03-24T22:15:29Z")
> [@Nightime](#): > > Like NinjaChick, I do tae kwon do. But I haven’t had to put up with too many annoying questioners. > > Maybe because: > > 1. I don’t bow when I come into class. > > 2. I don’t spend the entire class drawing pictures of katas. > > 3. During recess, I don’t go off to the side and practice jumping spin kicks, while glaring at anyone who watches. > > 4. When people are discussing martial arts movies, I don’t jump in to tell them how they are all garbage. > > 5. I don’t constantly tell people that I’ve got to be going, as I have “karate” that day. Easily the funniest thing I’ve read all day ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/146 "2004-03-24T22:19:01Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > And once again, SHE could catch more flies with honey as well. I’m not the only one being assinine. That’s all I’m trying to say. Absolutely agreed. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/147 "2004-03-24T22:19:56Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I just love watching you karate assholes brag about your martial arts while belittling each other for bragging about their martial arts. Makes me feel better about being a couch potato. It’s like comic book dorks going on, only with more testosterone in the air. It’s like when people start threatening to beat each other up in AOL chats or Usenet. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/148 "2004-03-24T22:32:41Z")
Okay. I’m gonna try this again. I don’t brag about my training or rank. I don’t talk endlessly about it, I don’t spend recess practicing flying side kicks (I haven’t had recess since sixth grade, for that matter), I don’t constantly reference needing to go to class, I don’t spend my days drawing MA pictures, I don’t refuse to allow anyone to enjoy action movies, etc. However, I am not ashamed of my training. I’m not going to deny that I do tae kwon do, I’m not going to lie about why I don’t want to go out with friends on Friday night, and if, say, someone asks me how I got that rediculous bruise on my shoulder, I’m not going to lie. Some people believe that their MA training should be their ‘best kept secret’, and that’s fine. I don’t subscribe to that belief. To me, my training (regardless of my rank) means something. I refuse to avoid the topic. My problem is, as several others have been pointed out, primarily with the “Primal 17-year-old male” type found so often in high schools. Example: the other day in health class, I was whining to a friend about how my knees hurt after spending a good amount of time doing jumping drills the previous night. An acquantince, sitting next to me, asked if I did gymnastics (as he overheard my conversation). I said no, I do TKD. I have no problem with people asking my rank, etc, though when people don’t believe me/ask stupid questions such as “have you ever killed someone with your bare hands?”, I do get slightly irritated. That’s all. On the issue of ‘kids’ getting black belts: I worked for my belt. That’s really all there is to it. I met the same curriculum requirements as every other black belt from my dojang, regardless of age. My instructors believed that I had reached that level, and I trust their judgement. Additionally, I (at the time I earned my BB) trained at a WTF school. The WTF has set (IIRC) the minimum age for a first-dan at 15. I was 15 when I was promoted to that rank. The standards of the WTF and of my (then) dojang are really the only black belt standards I care about, quite honestly. Am I interested in how other schools run? Yes. Do I hold myself, in any way, to a standard of a school that I have no involvement in? No. Minor note on the bowing thing: I’m scatterbrained. I spend a lot of time at my TKD school, where our instructors are strict about bowing. I pay much more attention when I’m there, because I like those people more than most people at my school. I really don’t have an excuse, and it’s happened maybe two or three times. My friends haven’t let me forget those times, though. I said this before: I shouldn’t be as bitchy about some of this stuff as I am. I’m not as bitchy as I came across in the OP, I swear. However, I don’t claim to be perfect. I claim to be passionate about something many people see as a joke or amusement; it’s also something people tend to think that women can’t excel at. So, occasionally, I get pissed off and bitchy about it. Um, in other words, I’m pretty much a normal human. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/149 "2004-03-24T22:56:02Z")
**NinjaChick** , my proposal of marriage still stands 😃 > [@RickJay](#): > > “I don’t think IQ means anything, it’s just a test. By the way, my IQ is 173. Doesn’t mean a thing, of course. 173.” Mine’s 175. Not that it means anything. 175. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/150 "2004-03-24T22:56:09Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > And once again, SHE could catch more flies with honey as well. I’m not the only one being assinine. That’s all I’m trying to say. But that doesn’t give one the right to be asinine back. \Ever\. Particularly when one is the older. Be asinine to others, perhaps, but never in direct reply. That’s not the way to treat people. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/151 "2004-03-24T23:01:23Z")
Incidentally, I’m now thinking of asking **Lynn** to change my screenname to either **King Cockblaster** or **Karate Asshole**. Okay, it won’t happen, but when you see “ **pravnik** ,” you’ll know it really means “ **King Cockblaster** ” for reals. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/152 "2004-03-25T01:42:41Z")
> [@OxyMoron](#): > > But that doesn’t give one the right to be asinine back. \Ever\. Particularly when one is the older. Be asinine to others, perhaps, but never in direct reply. That’s not the way to treat people. You’ve inspired a thread. I’ll get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/153 "2004-03-25T02:18:54Z")
I had been concerned about the health of the boards. I wander into here to find that we can still produce four pages on the musings of a teenage ninja. Good work, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/154 "2004-03-25T02:33:44Z")
I hereby declare screenplay rights on “Musings of a Teenage Ninja.” Who wants to co-write?! ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/155 "2004-03-25T02:43:42Z")
> [@GMRyujin](#): > > I hereby declare screenplay rights on “Musings of a Teenage Ninja.” Who wants to co-write?! Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! Me please! Maybe we can get Julia Stiles or Erika Christensen or Jessica Alba or one of those other interchangeable current actresses to sign on. I think Michelle Rodriguez would be a good choice, but it might be typecasting. BTW, I’m fully on the side of the OP. I had mentioned to some people that I was taking martial arts and had to deal with similar questions. “Could you kill me with your bare hands?” “Sure, just stand there in a docile manner while I wrench your head around in hopes of somehow breaking your neck.” Oh, and I’ve also absently bowed before entering a room. My dining room, to be specific. My empty dining room. It just becomes a habit, and if there’s something else on your mind, you just sort of do it. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/156 "2004-03-25T03:17:10Z")
I’m definitely going to demand at least an ‘inspired by’ credit for this. And **Ilsa** - email me. We’ll talk. _suggestive eyebrow wiggle_ We so need a ‘suggestive eyebrow wiggle’ smiley. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/157 "2004-03-25T04:34:19Z")
“MUSINGS OF A TEENAGE NINJA” By: GMRyujin Co-author: Dante Inspired by: The assholes in NinjaChick’s life and some assholes in NinjaChick’s thread. Assholes all around! And NinjaChick, who is not an asshole in any way. Based on a true story. FADE IN INT. BORINGASS HIGH SCHOOL – DAY We fade in in a classroom in Boringass High School, your usual semi-upscale suburban high school. The classroom is filling up with an eclectic mix of kids, the usual jocks, punks, a fat guy in a ninja suit, a guy carrying a book called The Inferno (note to Dante: This is our big cameo!), a big dumb-looking guy named REAL KARATE MASTER who is wearing one of those martial arts thingies (a gi?) and a black belt and trying to look tough, and a 17 year old girl in a ninja outfit. This is NINJACHICK. She’s also carrying a backpack and a guitar case. As she moves to her desk, she is intercepted by one of the DUMB JOCKS, who is big and muscle-y and none too bright. DUMB JOCK: (teasing) Hey, are you that “ninja chick?” NINJACHICK (V.O.): My name is Chick and I am a Ninja, a warrior forged in my master’s dojo to carry on the fine tradition of the ninja. NINJACHICK tries to pull away. DUMB JOCK blocks her path. DUMB JOCK: Hey, c’mon! Hit me! NINJACHICK: What? DUMB JOCK: Hit me! C’mon! NINJACHICK: (V.O.) You see the shit I have to put up with? NINJACHICK: Leave me alone. She tries to pull away again. DUMB JOCK still blocks her way. DUMB JOCK: What, a little thing like you? You can’t hurt me! C’mon, hit me! Hard as you can. NINJACHICK: Just go away. Once again, she tries to leave. DUMB JOCK still blocks her path. And this time, he grabs her shoulder. DUMB JOCK: What, you scared? C’mon, gimme all ya got! NINJACHICK: Fine. She strikes an elaborate, cool-looking martial arts pose, and then punches him in the chest. Nothing happens for a second. DUMB JOCK: What, is that it? DUMB JOCK explodes backwards, smashing through walls, leaving Dumb Jock outlines as he goes. He finally lands four rooms away. REAL KARATE MASTER leaps out of his seat. He talks like he’s badly dubbed. REAL KARATE MASTER: Foolish girl! You have revealed your ninja training! No real ninja would show her skills! Or talk about them! Or use them in any way! You are no true ninja and must be destroyed! REAL KARATE MASTER pulls a katana from somewhere and brandishes it menacingly. NINJACHICK eyes him, then walks over and takes his head between her hands. REAL KARATE MASTER: What are you doing? No true ninja would fight like this… He is cut off as NINJACHICK smashes his head between her hands. NINJACHICK: Hiii-yah! NINJACHICK wipes her hands, all cool, on REAL KARATE MASTER’s outfit-thingie as his body slumps to the floor. Then, as the kids gawk, she pulls out a Fender Stratocaster from her guitar case, plugs into a nearby amp, and WAILS the OPENING SONG, which should something cool, like that opening song from Pulp Fiction. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/158 "2004-03-25T05:04:03Z")
It is for posts like the above that I will gladly pay 5 bucks eventually for this place. **GMRyujin** , may I recommend [her](http://www.adventurers-comic.com/d/20031225.html) for the title role? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/159 "2004-03-25T13:59:18Z")
😃 Totally sweet! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467/160 "2004-03-25T14:29:58Z")
> [@](#): > > NINJACHICK wipes her hands, all cool, on REAL KARATE MASTER’s outfit-thingie as his body slumps to the floor. Then, as the kids gawk, she pulls out a Fender Stratocaster from her guitar case, plugs into a nearby amp, and WAILS the OPENING SONG, which should something cool, like that opening song from Pulp Fiction. She _plays a Stratocaster too?_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-few-misconceptions-about-real-life-ninjas-cleared-up/235467.md?page=9)