# A Firefly poll: Kaylee, Inara, Zoe, or River? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 14, 2018, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130 "2018-05-14T13:53:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/1 "2018-05-14T13:53:27Z")
Figured Betty v. Veronica and Ginger v. Mary Ann could use some more up-to-date company. (OK, not _very_ up-to-date, but in this century at least.) Obviously there’s a similar ‘very good-looking girl next door’ v. ‘glamorous babe’ thing going on if it’s just Kaylee and Inara. But we’ve also got Zoe and River to make things interesting. Poll coming. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/2 "2018-05-14T13:56:44Z")
If River takes a liking to you, you’d better choose her. Remember, she can kill you with her brain. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/3 "2018-05-14T14:33:18Z")
What are we choosing them for? Marriage? Torrid sweaty rumpy-pumpy? Having your back in a firefight? Dodgeball? Because I’d go Kaylee, Kaylee, Zoe and/or River, River. River would be the best dodgeball player _ever_. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/4 "2018-05-14T14:39:47Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > What are we choosing them for? Marriage? Torrid sweaty rumpy-pumpy? Having your back in a firefight? Dodgeball? Like with the Betty v. Veronica or Ginger v. Mary Ann polls, use whatever criteria you choose. And yeah, River would be the best dodgeball player ever. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/5 "2018-05-14T14:43:16Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > If River takes a liking to you, you’d better choose her. Remember, she can kill you with her brain. It would be unfortunate to learn first-hand that River Tam also has a cornfield. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/6 "2018-05-14T15:06:26Z")
The answer is Kaylee. Her heart is pure and she’s guaranteed a happy ending. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/7 "2018-05-14T15:08:10Z")
I voted the “who/what” options, but after Googling the cast I would have to pick “none of the above”. I mean, they are attractive I suppose, but none really hit my sweet spot. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/8 "2018-05-14T15:30:45Z")
I’ve seen a total of maybe 4 total episodes of Firefly, but I fell instantly in love with Kaylee the moment I saw her. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/9 "2018-05-14T15:37:58Z")
For a serious relationship, Kaylee. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/10 "2018-05-14T15:40:38Z")
Kaylee. Full stop. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/11 "2018-05-14T15:51:11Z")
I would take her in a manly fashion. The answer was obviously Kaylee for me and I see that the vast majority agree. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/12 "2018-05-14T15:53:02Z")
Kaylee. Sweet, beautiful and likes to do next to engines. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/13 "2018-05-14T16:13:58Z")
Does River have a cannonical age? Because I think of her as like 15, tops. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/14 "2018-05-14T16:24:52Z")
Long-term, Kaylee. For one evening, Kaylee + Inara. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/15 "2018-05-14T17:04:26Z")
Kaylee. Always Kaylee. Jewel Staite is one of the rare women who are hot, cute and beautiful all at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/16 "2018-05-14T17:06:29Z")
The Firefly I figured out but the rest is/was a mystery. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/17 "2018-05-14T17:20:54Z")
Inara. Providing she’d have me. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/18 "2018-05-14T17:39:43Z")
While a night with Inara would very likely be educational, for the long haul I’d have to go with Kaylee. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/19 "2018-05-14T17:43:49Z")
I’m older and Zoe would be my choice…smart, witty, intelligent, dead sure shot, and still very attractive for a ‘woman of a certain age’. Inara would intimidate me, Kaylee would confuse me, and River would terrify me. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130/20 "2018-05-14T19:27:50Z")
Hmmm…my choice was Kaylee, and I figured she’d win, but I really expected Inara to run a fairly close second. Can’t be right all the time. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-firefly-poll-kaylee-inara-zoe-or-river/814130.md?page=2)