# A Frank Conversation on Erections and Pain **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 18, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189 "2012-04-18T18:25:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/41 "2012-04-20T15:45:40Z")
> [@Woeg](#): > > About 10 minutes into my drive home, I began feeling a dull throb in the boys, and it just got stronger the longer it went on. By the time I got home, it seriously felt like I had just gotten kicked, hard, in the nuts, and the pain was horrible. Taking matters into my own hands was not an option - it was really way too painful. I settled for a bag of frozen peas. This. When the female friend found out about this- she laughed and found it hilarious. Then again, she was the type of person who loved to give me random Nut shots as well throughout our friendship. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/42 "2012-04-20T15:51:46Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > I really can’t visualize this at all! 😕😕😕😕😕 [Here.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck8WxlVCnTo&feature=fvwp) ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/43 "2012-04-20T17:17:18Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > “Let’s have sex.” > > “I’m not in the mood, honey, sorry.” > > “Have sex with me or I’ll break up with you.” > > Rape? The conversation was more like: “Lose your virginity to me” “No, I want to wait til marriage” “I’m not marrying anyone I haven’t had sex with so have sex or we are never getting married and I’m leaving now” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/44 "2012-04-20T18:12:39Z")
This is absolutely true. Women are the cause of erections, and they should act responsibly and finish the job they started. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/45 "2012-04-20T19:56:14Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > The conversation was more like: > > “Lose your virginity to me” > > “No, I want to wait til marriage” > > “I’m not marrying anyone I haven’t had sex with so have sex or we are never getting married and I’m leaving now” Can’t say I see anything wrong with this. I mean, I believe you that the guy was horrible for other reasons. But this is fine. Insisiting on marriage before sex is insane, and while ultimatums usually aren’t a good way to maintain a harmonious relationship (they’re also often not successful), there’s nothing immoral about them. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/46 "2012-04-20T20:03:47Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > The conversation was more like: > > “Lose your virginity to me” > > “No, I want to wait til marriage” > > “I’m not marrying anyone I haven’t had sex with so have sex or we are never getting married and I’m leaving now” To your way of thinking, that constitutes rape? ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/47 "2012-04-20T20:22:23Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > “Let’s have sex.” > > “I’m not in the mood, honey, sorry.” > > “Have sex with me or I’ll break up with you.” > > Rape? I’m sure it wouldn’t count from a legal standpoint, but from a moral one I’m leaning toward yes. It’s threatening someone with a negative consequence if they don’t have sex with you when they clearly, expressly aren’t willing. Hard to see it otherwise, and the absolute most generous I can be with it is that it’s shady, controlling behaviour. > [@TriPolar](#): > > This is absolutely true. Women are the cause of erections, and they should act responsibly and finish the job they started. I’m sure this is your idea of a joke, but this is such a disgusting thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/48 "2012-04-20T20:25:54Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > If Tina Fey has given me an erection is that close enough? Tina Fey has given men with no brain function erections\*, so I’d say no. \*Not counting Lorne Michaels. At least I don’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/49 "2012-04-20T20:43:32Z")
> [@Woeg](#): > > About 10 minutes into my drive home, I began feeling a dull throb in the boys, and it just got stronger the longer it went on. By the time I got home, it seriously felt like I had just gotten kicked, hard, in the nuts, and the pain was horrible. This has probably happened to me 30 or 40 times in my life, the majority when I was a teenager. I would generally rub one out, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling but it seemed to make to whole ordeal go away faster. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/50 "2012-04-20T20:55:49Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > It’s threatening someone with a negative consequence if they don’t have sex with you when they clearly, expressly aren’t willing. That’s batshit, dude. “You and I are in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy is a key part of romantic relationships as commonly understood. I do not feel that this relationship meets my goals for romance if a certain degree of intimacy is not involved. Ergo, if you are not interested in providing that level of intimacy, we will both be happier if we separate and pursue other romances with persons more amenable to the paramaters of our desired relationships.” Suggesting that sexual incompatability is not an acceptable reason for terminating a romantic relationship is absurd. Suggesting that this is rape? Reprehensible. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/51 "2012-04-20T21:04:51Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > That’s batshit, dude. In fairness, **Aqualung** was responding to **Bricker** ’s scenario, not **Sir T-Cups**. “I’m going to break up with you because you won’t have sex with me at all,” is a lot different than, “I’m going to break up with you because you won’t have sex with me _right now_.” ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/52 "2012-04-20T22:53:38Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > That’s batshit, dude. “You and I are in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy is a key part of romantic relationships as commonly understood. I do not feel that this relationship meets my goals for romance if a certain degree of intimacy is not involved. Ergo, if you are not interested in providing that level of intimacy, we will both be happier if we separate and pursue other romances with persons more amenable to the paramaters of our desired relationships.” > > Suggesting that sexual incompatability is not an acceptable reason for terminating a romantic relationship is absurd. Suggesting that this is rape? Reprehensible. You have… completely misunderstood my intention. You’ll notice I did not respond, as **Miller** points out, to Sir T-cups. A total lack of sexual intimacy is entirely legitimate a reason to break up with someone. The key difference is that communicating that like an adult. “I want to be in a sexual relationship and you don’t, clearly that’s not going to work out between us.” is worlds away from “You need to put out right now or I’m done with you” The latter is fucking abusive. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/53 "2012-04-20T23:57:57Z")
For the record I do want to apologize for turning the conversation to what is and it not rape…I promise that wasn’t my original intention Also: Yes **Aqualung** , yes it is. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/54 "2012-04-21T00:42:22Z")
Speaking to the blue balls issue, I have had this several times after extended arousal, and it got really painful. It is definitely real and painful, for some men, some times. Whether it is real in some specific case, and what people should do about it, are debatable. I would bet it has been lied about in an attempt to get sex countless times, too. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/55 "2012-04-21T01:42:10Z")
Any of you guys know why it’s called “blue balls”? Why not “red balls” or even “purple”? Those are very strong colors. One denotes danger, and IMO, purple looks like bruises. Blue is a happy color. (IMHO, of course). While in high school (back in the last century:)), the girls used to wear panty hose which had tears/rips on the backs of their legs and we guys found this extremely arousing, so we got day-time blue balls/erections which we hid with our notebooks carried in front (the scrotal area). So biologically speaking (and docs, please correct me), the reason for a hard-on is that the brain signals blood flow to the penis and it gets rigid. If nothing happens, the brain says, “Fuck _you_, pal! I got you a stiffy, and you didn’t use it, so here’s a little “reminder” for next time!” And there’s your “blue balls”. Okay, taking it a step further, when I did finally masturbate (hamana-hamana) the semen literally spurted out like water out of a hose which has been kinked. Ahhhhh sweet relief! I have often wondered, with that much semen coming out of me, wouldn’t there be at least one spermie that would get the girl pregnant if we had unprotected sex? Was that too much info? Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/56 "2012-04-21T01:51:09Z")
Oh yeah, just a little disclaimer: **D** doesn’t know I write shit like this, okay? If she _did_, she would turn beet-red and my ass would be grass. She can read all of this after I’m dead. 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/57 "2012-04-21T02:01:37Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Any of you guys know why it’s called “blue balls”? Why not “red balls” or even “purple”? Those are very strong colors. One denotes danger, and IMO, purple looks like bruises. Blue is a happy color. (IMHO, of course). > > While in high school (back in the last century:)), the girls used to wear panty hose which had tears/rips on the backs of their legs and we guys found this extremely arousing, so we got day-time blue balls/erections which we hid with our notebooks carried in front (the scrotal area). > > So biologically speaking (and docs, please correct me), the reason for a hard-on is that the brain signals blood flow to the penis and it gets rigid. If nothing happens, the brain says, “Fuck _you_, pal! I got you a stiffy, and you didn’t use it, so here’s a little “reminder” for next time!” And there’s your “blue balls”. > > Okay, taking it a step further, when I did finally masturbate (hamana-hamana) the semen literally spurted out like water out of a hose which has been kinked. Ahhhhh sweet relief! > > I have often wondered, with that much semen coming out of me, wouldn’t there be at least one spermie that would get the girl pregnant if we had unprotected sex? > > Was that too much info? > > Thanks > > Q Way, _way_ TMI. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/58 "2012-04-22T01:49:49Z")
But honestly written. I really don’t have another place to share my effed-up personality. So sorry, but I’m not going to pull my punches. If you find me offensive, feel free to ignore me. I’m way beyond caring, but I have been meticulously honest with my friends, to the point where there’s nothing left but what I can eke out of my brain, sometimes. These are my thoughts and they are never meant to hurt. Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/59 "2012-04-22T03:03:08Z")
Well, to be fair, **Quasi** , you did ask. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189/60 "2012-04-22T03:21:29Z")
I sure did, **Guin**. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂 Q [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-frank-conversation-on-erections-and-pain/619189.md?page=4)