# A friend doesn't like telling women she was a pilot **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209 "2010-05-29T17:57:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/21 "2010-05-29T21:20:25Z")
I was in the military and I was a pilot, tho not a military pilot. I just flew for fun till I couldn’t afford it any longer. So I most certainly wouldn’t be put off by your friend’s accomplishments. Then again, I could converse semi-intelligently about it. And, honestly, when I meet a woman who has a more traditional female career and is interested in fashion and shoes and stuff, I have nothing to talk to her about. And if she’s fond of celeb gossip, I fight to keep my eyes from glazing over. Maybe because my career, from my active duty days till now, have been spent in predominantly male environments and I’m more comfortable there. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/22 "2010-05-29T21:23:44Z")
Out of curiosity is there really this pervasive “women in the military = dykes” assumption on the part of other women? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/23 "2010-05-29T21:38:22Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Out of curiosity is there really this pervasive “women in the military = dykes” assumption on the part of other women? Not being a woman, I can’t say. But in Iraq my friend was assumed to either be a lesbian, or else she was sleeping with a crewman. (She was married at the time.) Anecdote: My friend was rather petite. Guys would go to the other pilot and ask, ‘So, did you see her tits?’ The other pilot told her that the guys were asking. She said, ‘Well, have you? Because I’d like to find them!’ ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/24 "2010-05-29T21:43:39Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Out of curiosity is there really this pervasive “women in the military = dykes” assumption on the part of other women? I’ve never heard of such a thing. (And who cares anyway?) I think that would be a very strange reaction. I would think it was cool, but I wouldn’t know what to say beyond that. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/25 "2010-05-29T22:10:18Z")
I’m guessing envy, and feeling like they have little in common. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/26 "2010-05-29T22:32:28Z")
I met several female pilots in Kabul (and before during training) and none of them were lesbians as far as I could tell. About half of them were married (to men). ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/27 "2010-05-29T23:35:00Z")
> [@Happy\_Poster](#): > > Dude, no one sane is going to think a woman is a lesbian because she’s an army pilot. Seriously, that’s totally bizarre. When my aunt graduated high school in the mid-60s, she wanted to join the Army but didn’t because people told her girls that went into the Army were ‘dykes’. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if some people still hold to biases like that. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/28 "2010-05-29T23:42:27Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > When my aunt graduated high school in the mid-60s, she wanted to join the Army but didn’t because people told her girls that went into the Army were ‘dykes’. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if some people still hold to biases like that. I’ve no doubt that there’s the occasional dinosaur like that still around, but they’re hardly sane 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/29 "2010-05-29T23:45:27Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Tangental question: How big a deal are Air Medals? (She has two.) Air Medals are basically merit badges. The Distinguished Flying Cross is an award for valor. In WWII it was determined that they needed an award for merit so as not to cheapen the DFC. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/30 "2010-05-29T23:47:51Z")
I’d think it was cool as hell and I’d probably tell her about my plane phobia for a laugh. If she laughed and didn’t look like she was trying to get away from me we’d be just fine. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/31 "2010-05-29T23:53:36Z")
I’d think it was really cool, but I’m interested in learning to fly helicopters. As to women being put off by certain occupations, most definitely. I own/run a construction company. Occasionally I’ll get a “Good for you, being in a male dominated field!” But then…crickets. Most of the time, no commonality, no conversation, no interest. I also have fielded the dyke question, both blatantly asked and implied. I guess they’re overlooking the husband and 5 kids. I’ve never been a good woman, really. Oh, I can fake it for a while, but they always can tell. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/32 "2010-05-30T00:04:31Z")
If I may insert a shameless linky, I’d be much obliged some of you gals doing traditionally male jobs would contribute here: [Responsibility to not perpetuate stereotypes. - Great Debates - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=565055) 😉 Edit: If gals is offensive in American, apologies - we don’t actually use it over here at all. But I’m just trying to be cultural and all 😛 ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/33 "2010-05-30T00:20:55Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > When my aunt graduated high school in the mid-60s, she wanted to join the Army but didn’t because people told her girls that went into the Army were ‘dykes’. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if some people still hold to biases like that. During WWII the same things were being said about WACs and WAVES (they were also accused of being sluts who were after our fighting men). Alot that prejudice came from male servicemembers who had their jobs taked over by women so that they could be sent into combat. Women (other than nurses) serving in the military was a huge shock to established gender roles. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/34 "2010-05-30T00:21:13Z")
> [@Happy Poster](#): > > Edit: If gals is offensive in American, apologies - we don’t actually use it over here at all. But I’m just trying to be cultural and all 😛 A guy I used to work with years ago was called on the carpet by the head of H.R. for using the term ‘gals’. She was highly offended he would use such a word. (Dude was in his 60s, and from Texas.) . ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/35 "2010-05-30T00:23:05Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > A guy I used to work with years ago was called on the carpet by the head of H.R. for using the term ‘gals’. She was highly offended he would use such a word. (Dude was in his 60s, and from Texas.) > . fairy muff, I just realised after using it I don’t actually have the foggiest whether it’s appropriate or not. I’ve only ever seen it American contexts, and not in onces requiring social nuances. Edit: Any idea what the British equivilant would be? Ladies? Women? Girls? Birds? Slags? Sluts? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/36 "2010-05-30T00:24:16Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Women (other than nurses) serving in the military was a huge shock to established gender roles. It still existed in the 90s. My friend was told several times by superiors that she had a lot of gall to be a helicopter pilot, and she’d never get anywhere in the Army because she isn’t male. (On the other hand, a Colonel made her a personal apology after a Captain had made such remarks to her.) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/37 "2010-05-30T00:26:48Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > It still existed in the 90s. My friend was told several times by superiors that she had a lot of gall to be a helicopter pilot, and she’d never get anywhere in the Army because she isn’t male. (On the other hand, a Colonel made her a personal apology after a Captain had made such remarks to her.) Same kind of thing happened to my lady friend in the RAF. But I think that the UK training was far more mixed than it is in the US. They did some kind of thing where they made them all beat the crap out of one another in basic training, so she proved she was a real man. If you see what I mean 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/38 "2010-05-30T00:26:58Z")
> [@Happy\_Poster](#): > > fairy muff, I just realised after using it I don’t actually have the foggiest whether it’s appropriate or not. I’ve only ever seen it American contexts, and not in onces requiring social nuances. This particular H.R. person was very sensitive to such things. (She eventually became the VP of our department, and it was under her that half of us were laid off. She’s no longer with the company.) Whether ‘gal’ is offensive, I don’t know. It’s not a word I’d heard commonly used when I was in SoCal, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use it up here. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/39 "2010-05-30T00:37:02Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > As a woman, I’d think it was cool. I can’t imagine why anyone would be put off by it. Count me in with this response - I’d be really interested. Is it possible your friend is projecting her thoughts onto others? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209/40 "2010-05-30T00:46:20Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > Is it possible your friend is projecting her thoughts onto others? As a male of the species, I am unschooled in the subtleties of female psychology. 😉😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-doesnt-like-telling-women-she-was-a-pilot/541209.md?page=3)