# A friend of mine would like to know why he shouldn't commit suicide **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701 "2014-09-06T22:08:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/1 "2014-09-06T22:08:11Z")
He’d also like to know how one talks to a social worker, or whatever, in the United States, about suicidal feelings without being locked up. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/2 "2014-09-06T22:23:19Z")
He should call a suicide prevention hotline: there are lots of local ones and also: > **[Home](https://988lifeline.org/)** Why does he feel like committing suicide? I can certainly understand it if he is terminally ill and in substantial physical pain–but not otherwise. As to why not there is a good chance these feelings won’t last forever–and if he kills himself he will never be able to enjoy life. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/3 "2014-09-06T22:25:38Z")
Having been in your situation and with a bad ending, I would not cater to his worries about being locked up if he talks. Call 911. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/4 "2014-09-06T22:31:53Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > As to why not there is a good chance these feelings won’t last forever–and if he kills himself he will never be able to enjoy life. He’s 57; he’s enjoyed his life. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/5 "2014-09-06T22:34:08Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > He’s 57; he’s enjoyed his life. That looks like another 20 to 30 years he could probably enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/6 "2014-09-06T22:36:50Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > He’s 57; he’s enjoyed his life. I am 56 and my friend killed himself at age 54 two years ago; it is not your call to make. What a horrible thing to say. I’m also a hospice volunteer and people in their 80s and beyond fight to live, believe me. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/7 "2014-09-06T22:37:57Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Having been in your situation and with a bad ending, I would not cater to his worries about being locked up if he talks. Call 911. > Seriously. How does he talk to someone about suicide without being locked up? Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![camille](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/22d042/32.png) [@camille](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/camille)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/8 "2014-09-06T22:38:06Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > He’s 57; he’s enjoyed his life. If you buy in to the idea that enjoyment is only in the past tense at age 57, you might not be the best person for him to be talking to. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/9 "2014-09-06T22:39:22Z")
If he tells a doctor about his thoughts, he won’t exacty be locked up. He will be asked to check himself into a hospital, where he will recieve treatment. It may be just the break in the action that he needs to prevent a regrettable decision. He won’t be in a prison, and there likely won’t even be bars on the windows. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/10 "2014-09-06T22:41:23Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > How does he talk to someone about suicide without being locked up? Seriously. Call 911 or any suicide hotline. Yes, he may run the risk of being put in a 72-hour hold, but if he is suicidal then why does he give a fuck about that? Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/11 "2014-09-06T22:41:50Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > What a horrible thing to say. I’m also a hospice volunteer and people in their 80s and beyond fight to live, believe me. So they do. So what? They are not my friend. Nor are they relevant to the fucking OP. ---
**Author:** ![DingoelGringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@DingoelGringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DingoelGringo)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/12 "2014-09-06T22:44:42Z")
Calling 911 or a suicide prevention hotline will not get one locked up. My sister worked on such hotline for years and never had any one locked up. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/13 "2014-09-06T22:45:36Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Call 911 or any suicide hotline. Yes, he may run the risk of being put in a 72-hour hold, but if he is suicidal then why does he give a fuck about that? > Seriously. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I’ve looked for a serious answer, and all I get is “too fucking bad, deal with what we want you to do”. So fuck you, fuck all of you. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/14 "2014-09-06T22:48:43Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > So they do. So what? > > They are not my friend. Nor are they relevant to the fucking OP. Then why do you even fucking care to post a question here? Jesus H.Christ, no reason to get so hostile. Nothing anyone is going to tell you is relevant to your fucking OP, unless you have lots of real-life mutual friends here. I hope your friend will be OK. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/15 "2014-09-06T22:49:54Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I’ve looked for a serious answer, and all I get is “too fucking bad, deal with what we want you to do”. So fuck you, fuck all of you. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/16 "2014-09-06T22:50:47Z")
You’ve gotten concrete answers. 1. Suicide hotline won’t lock him up 2. Doctor or counselor might suggest he check himself in 3. Even if he gets locked up, it’s a 72 hour hold If he wants help it seems he wants to live, so a hold might actually serve that ultimate goal, even if it’s not what he thinks he wants. You suggested that at 57 he’s lived a good life. Others are suggesting he could still have lots of good life ahead, so it maybe worth saving his life (which may require a hold after all). ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/17 "2014-09-06T22:52:00Z")
The hotlines are anonymous 1-800 numbers. They don’t know who you are unless you tell them. If he’s talking about it with you, he wants help. He wants to be talked out of it. If he was resolved to do it he wouldn’t let on. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/18 "2014-09-06T22:59:44Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > If he wants help it seems he wants to live, so a hold might actually serve that ultimate goal, even if it’s not what he thinks he wants. he doesn’t want to get locked up. If the choice is locked up or dying, the latter is what he would choose. He does want help. He doesn’t want help if getting locked up is a necessary prerequisite of getting help. What is so fucking difficult about understanding that? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/19 "2014-09-06T23:00:24Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I’ve looked for a serious answer, and all I get is “too fucking bad, deal with what we want you to do”. So fuck you, fuck all of you. I don’t know if this is a serious answer, but it’s a realistic one: if he has insurance, he won’t be in a county hellhole with schizophrenics rotating between the ward and the park. He’ll be transferred to a facility with a highly professional and motivated staff who may influence him to stay a few days longer and walk out with some new hope. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/20 "2014-09-06T23:02:36Z")
Starting to get the distinct impression that our OP is ‘asking for a friend’ in the more euphemistic sense. Regardless, if ANYONE wishes to talk to someone about their suicidal thoughts and **NOT** GET LOCKED UP for it, the US national hotline is 1-800-273-8255. It is a CONFIDENTIAL and ANONYMOUS call. They will not press for details if you don’t wish to give them. They can offer advice, sympathy, and trained theraputic help, and if you WANT TO, they can help you find local physical sources of help. Good luck. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701.md?page=2)