# A friend of mine would like to know why he shouldn't commit suicide **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701 "2014-09-06T22:08:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/101 "2014-09-09T17:49:53Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I am reading along. The crisis is passed; the issue remains. “Oh good” on the first two and ☹ on the last. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/102 "2014-09-09T21:21:43Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > I don’t know if those are the type of reasons **Frank** is looking for but goddamn, that was a beautiful post. Next time I’m feeling really low I am going to reread this. Ditto. I stole it and posted it on Facebook as a status, giving proper attribution, of course. Really wonderful post. ---
**Author:** ![Fallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Fallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallen)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/103 "2014-09-09T22:39:26Z")
What’s weird about the Richard-Bruce story is that I got the impression that Atlanta and Chattanooga were ver-r-r-ry far apart instead of less than two hours (something about “all the way from Atlanta to Chattanooga”, I suppose). Luckily, Bruce didn’t have to make Richard the appointment with his doctor, and that Richard did it on his own (sometimes even finding a doctor is the draining part, let alone calling). “Bruce called Richard every day for a while … and stopped by the house often.” Bruce is a good person, and so is TubaDiva. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/104 "2014-09-09T23:33:02Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I am reading along. The crisis is passed; the issue remains. I think the best advice so far is for you or your friend to call the suicide hotline to find out what the criteria are for getting put on a psych hold in your state. Psych holds are not always 72 hours. There are 24 hour psych holds. I mention this because perhaps your friend is worried that it would be hard to explain if he just disappeared for 72 hours, but 24 hours might be easier to keep private. So even if he does get put on a hold it might not be as bad as he fears. It really is true that it is possible to discuss suicidal thoughts without getting locked up. Social workers are going to be trained to know the difference between wanting to die and actually having a plan. I have mentioned my own suicidal thoughts in therapy many times in three different states and not been locked up. And I’ve been really really depressed when I was talking about it, too. To the point of discussing what I _would do_ if I \*were \*to do it, but letting my therapist know that _I did not have the actual tools to do it_. I have had a therapist ask me if I thought it would be a good idea to go to the hospital and I said no and she didn’t call the cops or anything. OTOH, if your friend has a plan and the means then you should call 911. And I say this as someone who feels strongly that people should have the right to take their own lives. Don’t be afraid to ask your friend if he has a plan and if so if he has the means. It seems backwards, but it’s a good thing that your friend is talking to you about his suicidal thoughts. It can relieve the pressure to be able to talk about it and not have it explode in your face like your friend fears. Therapists are trained to handle these issues. They are experienced in handling these issues. They can help. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/105 "2014-09-09T23:40:45Z")
It occurs to me that I should have asked what you mean by social worker. Is this a social worker your friend would be seeing for therapy? Or a social worker who is assisting him but not as his therapist? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/106 "2014-09-10T02:43:00Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I am reading along. The crisis is passed; the issue remains. Great. Now you can make a phone call or drive over to the local center and see what they can offer your friend. You’ll be able to answer his questions with first-person knowledge. Suicide Prevention Center Address: 1110 Webster St, Dayton, OH 45404 Phone: (937) 229-7777 If you don’t want to do this I’ll do it for you at your request. See what the actual fear is about a 3 day observation period or just making a phone call. Does he think they drag people out and lock them up in a rubber room in a straight jacket? I think it’s a voluntary stay at a hospital with all the amenities of a place where people care about you. ---
**Author:** ![Cognoscant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Cognoscant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cognoscant)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/107 "2014-09-11T02:03:01Z")
I suppose he could try to call Switchboard Miami, who would just “uh huh” him until he hung up. Personal experience there. Anyway, take it from someone who almost called a hotline tonight (and probably calls them on a monthly basis). They’re not going to trace your line to take you away if you say you’re thinking about suicide. They’ll talk. They’ll give you advice. It might not be good advice. But they’re not going to commit you over the phone. I can say that from personal experience too. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/108 "2014-09-11T03:02:06Z")
> [@Fallen](#): > > What’s weird about the Richard-Bruce story is that I got the impression that Atlanta and Chattanooga were ver-r-r-ry far apart instead of less than two hours (something about “all the way from Atlanta to Chattanooga”, I suppose). > > Luckily, Bruce didn’t have to make Richard the appointment with his doctor, and that Richard did it on his own (sometimes even finding a doctor is the draining part, let alone calling). > > “Bruce called Richard every day for a while … and stopped by the house often.” > > Bruce is a good person, and so is TubaDiva. I have been blessed with some beautiful people in my life. Both Bruce and Richard are gone now, unfortunately … they both had to leave the party way too soon. I will never forget them and it was an immense privilege to have them in my life. i also have a ton of great stories about them both. I smile all the time just thinking about them. It’s another reason to stay on the scene – both of them died so early and they would have loved more time, more time with their families, more time to make music, more nights with good friends. As long as we are able to share these stories, they live with us. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/109 "2014-09-11T04:13:15Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Knowing that getting up and going to the bathroom is going to mean pain, that just getting out of bed in the morning is going to hurt, it grinds you down. It’s never going to go away, there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s going to hurt today, and tomorrow, and for the rest of your life. When I look to the future it doesn’t matter what else I see there, I also see a lot of pain. It’s the helplessness, the inevitability, the unfairness that gets you. Some days it’s really hard to get out of bed. In no way intending to make light of your physical pain, but that struck me as a really good descriptor of life with chronic depression as well. Whether physical or emotional, pain sucks, and it’s a perfectly human thing to want to end it. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701/110 "2014-09-11T04:28:24Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > In no way intending to make light of your physical pain, but that struck me as a really good descriptor of life with chronic depression as well. > > Whether physical or emotional, pain sucks, and it’s a perfectly human thing to want to end it. Thank you for pointing that out. I struggle to understand my husband’s depression, and this is really helpful. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-know-why-he-shouldnt-commit-suicide/697701.md?page=5)