# A friend passes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-passes/583373 "2011-05-27T00:31:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-passes/583373/1 "2011-05-27T00:31:09Z")
I just found out last night that V, the wife of C, my best friend from university, died on Monday of brain cancer. We were all in the same class, but I didn’t know her nearly as well as C. C and I were like two peas in a pod at times. We drew in each others’ sketchbooks and developed a fine appreciation of Monty Python and programmed our first computers together. But there was much I didn’t see. I didn’t see the developing relationship between C and V all through first year. During the summer I went back to my home town and C went hack to his home province… but I took the train out and visited him. Second year came and we were back at school, but I flamed out and left university after the first half of second year. A year or so later, after I’d established myself in a new course of study at college–electronics–I visited C in downtown Toronto. He was house-sitting V’s parents’ condo. Luxury! Clearly their relationship had deepened and grown. Eventually C and V migrated to California and set up a new life there. I went down to visit them several times. We drove around California, and I fell in love with the California landscape. C and V got married. The reception was like nothing I’ve ever seen before or since; it included a ten-course meal! The last time I saw them was in '98, when I went to California for a conference. Soon afterwards, their daughter was born. I’d had some limited contact with them this spring on Facebook, so I knew V had been ill, but I didn’t know the situation was that bad. C said that V died holding their daughter’s hand… They’ll be laying her to rest on June the 2nd… the day before we lay my father’s ashes to rest. I wish I could be there, but they live 4000 km away and I don’t have the money to go there. Even if it wasn’t the day before my dad’s. I wish I’d known V better. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-passes/583373/2 "2011-05-27T00:44:12Z")
**Sunspace** , I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-friend-passes/583373/3 "2011-05-27T01:00:14Z")
Send C a copy of this! And maybe you knew V better than you thought. If such a good friend cared for her that much that says they were “good people” C will surely understand your own loss and not think the less of you. Take care of yourself too, I’m sorry for the loss of your father.