# A fucking tractor. (halfhearted) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 18, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316 "2003-03-18T17:21:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/1 "2003-03-18T17:21:00Z")
Forget weapons of mass destruction. Forget dirty bombs. Forget snipers. The only thing you need to bring the nation’s capital to its knees is… A FUCKING TRACTOR. [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/daily/articles/stamdoff.html](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/daily/articles/stamdoff.html) It took me 3 hours to get to work today and I live 5 fucking miles from work. Shoulda taken the metro but I needed my car today.:smack: UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!☹ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/2 "2003-03-18T17:25:56Z")
Anybody seen superbee? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/3 "2003-03-18T18:06:17Z")
My mother told me that if I ever want to make a political statement by driving farm machinery into the pool between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument, I should make sure that my manifesto is clearly printed and distributed to media outlets beforehand. > [@](#): > > Acquaintances said the man had once served in the military, but it was unclear whether yesterday’s actions were linked to his service, the possible war with Iraq or concerns about U.S. tobacco policies, the Post reported. Pfft. Amateur. ---
**Author:** ![Anita\_Vacation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Anita\_Vacation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anita_Vacation)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/4 "2003-03-18T19:15:29Z")
This nutcase who has been sitting in the middle of a pond on the mall for over 24 hours is more than an annoyance. The Park Police called for the closing of these buildings: • The National Academy of Science • The Federal Reserve Board • South Annex of the Interior Dept. The streets around these buildings are closed and only pedestrian traffic is allowed: • State Department • Department of Interior • Office of Personnel Management (They couldn’t really close the State Department today, could they?) The thousands of Federal Employees who work in the closed buildings are told to stay home on “administrative leave”, at the expense of taxpayers. A few years ago, a man was threatening to jump into the Potomac from a bridge on the beltway. The police closed the entire bridge for hours bringing rush hour traffic to a standstill. It caused unimaginable delays for thousands of commuters. Right now we are two hours away from the third nightmare commute caused by this one crazy tobacco farmer on a tractor. It’s so easy to bring the DC area to its knees that I think it’s about time to rethink this policy of endless negotiations in a standoff. This is truely Theater of the Absurd. He’s right out in the open, can’t they just hit him with a tranquilizer dart? ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/5 "2003-03-18T19:33:18Z")
I’m a little annoyed, myself. I heard someone had driven a tractor into the mall and I was expecting to see something like [this](http://www.buhler.com/versatile/2425-lores.htm), not that puny little yard machine. ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/6 "2003-03-18T19:36:45Z")
New ad slogan: “Nothing ruins rush hour like a Deere” ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/7 "2003-03-18T20:01:31Z")
Oh, come on, you wimps! The _one_ unconditionally supportive fan of the war on Iraq comes to town to show his support, and everyone freaks out. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/8 "2003-03-19T00:29:55Z")
Oops. My apologies. It appears as if he’s taken over downtown DC in an effort to bring attention to the plight of tobacco farmers, whom he thinks are subject to unfair government policies. Great timing there, Dwight Ware Watson. The [Washington Post](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43089-2003Mar18.html) just scored an interview with the fellow, who is still sitting in the middle of the duck pond and appears to be willing to go at least another day. Here’s what he had to say: > [@](#): > > “I don’t give a damn no more,” Watson said. “If this is the way America will be run, the hell with it. I’m out of here. I will not surrender. They can blow my ass out of the water. I’m ready to go to heaven.” > > Asked when he might end the standoff, Watson said: “I’ve got the rest of my life to stay right here. I’m not going anywhere.” In other words, the fucker’ll quit when he runs out of Winstons. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/9 "2003-03-19T00:49:52Z")
And I thought weird stuff happened here. I don’t get the strategy here. “Help the poor cancer-stick farmers or we’ll pull crazy shit and inconvenience untold millions of people and screw up the Capitol of our nation on the verge of war!” Way to win hearts n’ minds, Dwight. ---
**Author:** ![Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3ab097/32.png) [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/10 "2003-03-19T01:18:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorsnak \* > \*\*I’m a little annoyed, myself. I heard someone had driven a tractor into the mall and I was expecting to see something like [this](http://www.buhler.com/versatile/2425-lores.htm), not that puny little yard machine. \*\* Aw, shit. ☹ I read your post before I saw the article. Oh, well. I would have been disappointed anyhow. At least I was let down easily with your post. What kind of farmer drives a tractor like that, anyway? Does he have a larger-than average garden? Fucker. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/11 "2003-03-19T03:35:58Z")
Unless you understand the plight of the North Carolina tobacco farmer than please keep your mealy-mouth comments to yourself. No I don’t approve of smoking, I quit last July after smoking for 30 years so I know it’s a bad bad habit and health-wise it kills. But this is more than about growing tobacco. You need to know the history behind what the government has done to these farmers. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/12 "2003-03-19T04:24:58Z")
I have plenty of sympathy for farmers being screwed over by governments. I have close family ties to a farm, and I have a pretty good understanding, though not of tobacco farming. I’m all behind protesting. I’m just unimpressed by the size of this guy’s tractor, is all. It’s tiny! ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/13 "2003-03-19T04:42:22Z")
I just got home and I haven’t heard any updated reports on this story. Is the guy still holding out? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/14 "2003-03-19T05:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > But this is more than about growing tobacco. You need to know the history behind what the government has done to these farmers So? Maybe growing poison for a living(which is what tobacco is) is a bad idea, huh? In any event keep your loony tune mudhopppers in your backwater state so they don’t screw up our commute to work! ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/15 "2003-03-19T05:20:51Z")
Shays Rebellion 2003! ---
**Author:** ![Blueapple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Blueapple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blueapple)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/16 "2003-03-19T05:32:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultress \* > \*\*Unless you understand the plight of the North Carolina tobacco farmer than please keep your mealy-mouth comments to yourself. No I don’t approve of smoking, I quit last July after smoking for 30 years so I know it’s a bad bad habit and health-wise it kills. But this is more than about growing tobacco. You need to know the history behind what the government has done to these farmers. \*\* Maybe the farmers, the real welfare queens, should stop living off of government subsidies and start to work. It sickens me, just because they can’t turn a profit they have to whine to the gov’t and sit there, not attempting to change professions like most people do. (And yes, it took be forever to get up to Bethesda tonight from Capitol Hill) ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/17 "2003-03-19T05:34:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*So? Maybe growing poison for a living(which is what tobacco is) is a bad idea, huh? In any event keep your loony tune mudhopppers in your backwater state so they don’t screw up our commute to work! \*\* Yep, heaven help us if you miss a minute of work because of a mudhopper from a backwater state. Certainly don’t want to mess up the 9 to 5’ers. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/18 "2003-03-19T05:37:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Yep, heaven help us if you miss a minute of work because of a mudhopper from a backwater state. Certainly don’t want to mess up the 9 to 5’ers. A minute from work? Try not getting home for two hours! ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/19 "2003-03-19T06:28:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blueapple \* > \*\*Maybe the farmers, the real welfare queens, should stop living off of government subsidies and start to work. It sickens me, just because they can’t turn a profit they have to whine to the gov’t and sit there, not attempting to change professions like most people do. > > (And yes, it took be forever to get up to Bethesda tonight from Capitol Hill) \*\* Start to work? **Start to work?** Okay, twerp, how about this? Because of global political reality, if the only people in America who grew food were those who could turn a profit doing so, you wouldn’t be eating tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or the night after that. Sure, subsidies should be cut back, because it’s the subsidies (and not just those of any one government, but those of half the world) that cause the depressed commodity prices, which make it the case that input costs exceed the value of the crops. Calling farmers welfare queens is fucking ignorant, since they work hard to perform a service society needs a whole hell of a lot more than some schmuck pushing paper in DC. You obviously don’t know shit about agriculture. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316/20 "2003-03-19T06:30:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Okay, twerp, how about this? Because of global political reality, if the only people in America who grew food were those who could turn a profit doing so, you wouldn’t be eating tonight. You eat tobacco? Fascinating. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fucking-tractor-halfhearted/162316.md?page=2)