# A Fun New Creationist Argument **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 17, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059 "2002-04-17T02:20:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/1 "2002-04-17T02:20:53Z")
This is really more MPSIMS than a Pit thread, but I’m putting it here just to be safe. > [@](#): > > The banana-the atheist’s nightmare. Note that the banana: 1.Is shaped for human hand 2.Has non-slip surface 3.Has outward indicators of inward content: Green-too early, Yellow-just right, Black-too late. 4.Has a tab for removal of wrapper 5.Is perforated on wrapper 6.Bio-degradable wrapper 7.Is shaped for human mouth 8.Has a point at top for ease of entry 9.Is pleasing to taste buds 10.Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can. So it’s true folks. A banana converted me to God. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/2 "2002-04-17T02:27:45Z")
I’m reminded that you could say most of the same things about a dick (shaped for human hand, non-slip surface, shaped for human mouth, pointed top, pleasing to taste buds, curved towards the face), but if I go along with _that_ argument by design I’m the spawn of Satan! ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/3 "2002-04-17T02:27:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Red Menace \* > \*\*So it’s true folks. A banana converted me to God. \*\* It’s great if it’s a parody, and even better if it’s serious. Might I inquire where you found it? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/4 "2002-04-17T02:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > The banana-the atheist’s nightmare. Note that the banana: 1.Is shaped for human hand Aha! That’s evidence that humans descended from apes! Seriously: 1-apes have hands, 2-the banana is fit to the ape’s hands, 3-the banana is fit to the human hand, 3-therefore, humans are related to apes. Makes just as much (\ little) sense as the Creationist “argument.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/5 "2002-04-17T02:35:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by apotheosis \* > \*\* > > It’s great if it’s a parody, and even better if it’s serious. Might I inquire where you found it? \*\* It was delivered to me in earnest, but I wonder if it didn’t begin as a joke. The place I heard it was a local message board that I’m going to keep anonymous for the moment fearing the results I’ve seen in other episodes of When Dopers Attack. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/6 "2002-04-17T02:37:15Z")
So by that argument, nobody should eat nuts? [ul] [li]Hard shell you need tools to open.[/li][li]No outward guarantee of edibility. (Bad nuts look just like good ones until you spend the calories to open them.)[/li][li]Getting them out of the tree can be painful to those below.[/li][/ul] Satan makes humans eat nuts! Eating nuts is wrong! ( **matt\_mcl** is going to be laughing really hard right about now.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/7 "2002-04-17T02:42:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Red Menace \* > **It was delivered to me in earnest, but I wonder if it didn’t begin as a joke.** Good to know I’m not the only one who still gets mail like this. Try though I might, I can’t get my poor dear mother to look at snopes before hitting the ‘forward’ button. > [@](#): > > \*\*The place I heard it was a local message board that I’m going to keep anonymous for the moment fearing the results I’ve seen in other episodes of When Dopers Attack. \*\* Truly, a fearsome and awe-inspiring sight to behold. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/8 "2002-04-17T02:55:10Z")
Even better, the modern day banana is created by man, not God. They have been um, _selected_ for a very long time to produce large, easy to handle fruit. _See,_ Jared Diamond’s _Guns, Germs, and Steel_, p. 122 (selected for very small or nonexistent seeds); p. 186 (intentionally spread over the course of 1,600 years); p. 400 (originated in Southeast Asia and migrated to Africa sometime after 1000 A.D.). ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/9 "2002-04-17T05:42:38Z")
People: The banana was not created for man. Man was created for the banana. ---
**Author:** ![stankow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@stankow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stankow)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/10 "2002-04-17T05:54:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by masonite \* > \*\*The banana was not created for man. > Man was created for the banana. \*\* I’d believe that if they came with the ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream already inside. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/11 "2002-04-17T05:59:00Z")
The banana or the man? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/12 "2002-04-17T06:29:34Z")
And all this time, I thought the dreams about flesh-eating mutant zombies were cause for alarm. Now I know: it’s the bananas I need to fear… ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/13 "2002-04-17T07:52:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I’m reminded that you could say most of the same things about a dick (shaped for human hand, non-slip surface, shaped for human mouth, pointed top, pleasing to taste buds, curved towards the face), but if I go along with _that_ argument by design I’m the spawn of Satan! \*\* Please god don’t tell me your dick is green and yellow… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Second\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Echo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/14 "2002-04-17T08:02:08Z")
So of God designed the banana, than what sick fuck thought the pineapple was a good idea? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/15 "2002-04-17T08:06:16Z")
Does anybody know how all the banana plants survived underwater for a year during the great flood? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/16 "2002-04-17T08:07:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Second Echo \* > \*\*So of God designed the banana, than what sick fuck thought the pineapple was a good idea? \*\* That would be **me**. And your problem with that is? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/17 "2002-04-17T08:09:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > \*\*Even better, the modern day banana is created by man, not God. They have been um, _selected_ for a very long time to produce large, easy to handle fruit. > > \*\* Hmmm…apropo of matt’s comment, much the same can be said of the dick 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/18 "2002-04-17T08:13:10Z")
**Derleth** thinks that nuts are a bad design (the food - not the body part), but all his/her arguments go triple for coconuts. If I ever get that email, I’m going to reply with ten reasons that the coconut proves that God hates us. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/19 "2002-04-17T08:17:31Z")
People, don’t mock the banana. Clearly, the banana is our savior. Let us give adulation to the banana, worship it, stroke it, obey its every command. ::sigh:: Creationism: A cult that worships phallic fruit and eyeballs. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/20 "2002-04-17T08:24:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > \*\*large, easy to handle fruit. \*\* Thpeaking! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059.md?page=2)