# A Fun New Creationist Argument **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 17, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059 "2002-04-17T02:20:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/21 "2002-04-17T08:28:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\* > > Thpeaking! \*\* I’ll take a gross of that. How is it shipped? Does it keep well? How does one store it? And… most importantly: does it bruise easily? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/22 "2002-04-17T09:20:54Z")
Wow. Pineapple Pocopo was evil after all… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/23 "2002-04-17T10:21:44Z")
So you’re saying that God looks something like [this](http://www.80snostalgia.com/classictv/bananaman/)? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/24 "2002-04-17T12:47:26Z")
What does it mean if, like me, you can’t stand the taste of a banana and can’t bear to be in the same room when someone is eating one because you find the smell nauseating? ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/25 "2002-04-17T13:36:14Z")
You’re the Antichrist? My gawd, the apocalyse is upon us! ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/26 "2002-04-17T13:48:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I’m reminded that you could say most of the same things about a dick (shaped for human hand, non-slip surface, shaped for human mouth, pointed top, pleasing to taste buds, curved towards the face), but if I go along with _that_ argument by design I’m the spawn of Satan! \*\* Either that, or a banana is designed to fit with ease and comfort into a woman’s cooch. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/27 "2002-04-17T14:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\* > > Either that, or a banana is designed to fit with ease and comfort into a woman’s cooch. \*\* Man, God gave us dildos? He’s even cooler than I thought! I’m definitely repenting. ---
**Author:** ![Toaster52](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/28 "2002-04-17T14:46:29Z")
Did He also give us inflatable sheep? I’d think twice about repenting if He did… ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/29 "2002-04-17T15:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Red Menace \* > \*\*Man, God gave us dildos? He’s even cooler than I thought! \*\* The one caveat being that you could easily break the sucker off in there (in which case it comes in handy to have done your Kegels). Cucumbers are much sturdier. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/30 "2002-04-17T15:11:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\* > > I’ll take a gross of that. How is it shipped? Does it keep well? How does one store it? And… most importantly: does it bruise easily? \*\* Careful there! It can handle some wear and tear but it’s been known to vote NDP! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/31 "2002-04-17T15:29:25Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m reminded that you could say most of the same things about a dick (shaped for human hand, non-slip surface, shaped for human mouth, pointed top, pleasing to taste buds, curved towards the face), but if I go along with that argument by design I’m the spawn of Satan! I totally shocked an online conservative Christian friend last year by pointing out that if one rejects evolution, one is left to assume that God _intended_ that cluster of nerves adjacent to the prostate gland and stimulable only by anal penetration. 😉 > [@](#): > > Satan makes humans eat nuts! I must beg to differ. I am a human being, and the only thing Satan has ever made me eat was Indian cuisine. (It was good, too, and he and Libby treated me and my wife to dinner.) > [@](#): > > What does it mean if, like me, you can’t stand the taste of a banana and can’t bear to be in the same room when someone is eating one because you find the smell nauseating? In view of the analogies made above, please start a thread in Great Debates entitled, “Is it immoral to be a bananaphobe?” 🙂 > [@](#): > > Man, God gave us dildos? He’s even cooler than I thought! I’m definitely repenting. Toldja!!! ::: polishes knuckles on shirt in egotistic gesture :::: > [@](#): > > You’re the Antichrist? > > My gawd, the apocalyse is upon us! Do you refer to the Great and Terrible Stockwell Day of the Lord?? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/32 "2002-04-17T15:38:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > **if one rejects evolution, one is left to assume that God _intended_ that cluster of nerves adjacent to the prostate gland and stimulable only by anal penetration. 😉** Slam-dunk!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/33 "2002-04-17T19:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\* > > I totally shocked an online conservative Christian friend last year by pointing out that if one rejects evolution, one is left to assume that God _intended_ that cluster of nerves adjacent to the prostate gland and stimulable only by anal penetration. 😉 > \*\* Ah, yes, but anally penetrated only within the confines of a Wholesome, God-Fearing, Christian, Heterosexual Marriage. Which is the real reason god gave us bananas:D . ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/34 "2002-04-17T20:54:20Z")
No no no! Everyone knows that bananas were planted on Earth by extraterrestrials! ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/35 "2002-04-18T01:04:48Z")
[Bananas in Pajamas](http://www.abc.net.au/children/bananas/default.htm). 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/36 "2002-04-18T23:42:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\* > > The one caveat being that you could easily break the sucker off in there (in which case it comes in handy to have done your Kegels). Cucumbers are much sturdier. :eek: \*\* Remind me never to eat a salad at YOUR house! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/37 "2002-04-19T01:00:21Z")
Remind me to try to get invited to dinner over at **auntie ems** house. {what can I say, I like that kind of kinky shit} ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/38 "2002-04-19T04:08:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*What does it mean if, like me, you can’t stand the taste of a banana and can’t bear to be in the same room when someone is eating one because you find the smell nauseating? \*\* I’d call you fully rational and unlike most of the rest of the world, well adjusted. Bananas are **evil** They smell nasty, they look nasty, they taste nasty, and the testure is nasty. If given the choice between eating a banana and dying painfully…It would take me a few minutes to decide. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/39 "2002-04-19T05:59:05Z")
And here I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand bananas. The things are awful. But then I’m a Tattooed Bisexual Pagan, so I’m gonna be makin’ S’mores on the Lake of Fire anyways. **matt** ’s dick, on the other hand, I’ll take on my ice cream any day … extra whipped cream 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059/40 "2002-04-19T17:08:11Z")
Dragonblink, I’d not take **matt** ’s dick for several reasons, A) I’m a heteromale, B) It would make the ice cream melt to fast, and Ice cream is to be savored slowly. Whipped cream is alright I guess, but not ice cream. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-fun-new-creationist-argument/104059.md?page=3)