# A Genie question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 14, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965 "2017-06-14T18:18:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/21 "2017-06-14T21:13:42Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ecks](#): > > Here’s the scenario- > You find a Genie who offers you one wish. However, you do not get to choose the wish; Instead, the Genie will look into your mind and grant the wish that you would make if you truly knew your own desires and were completely honest. In short, you probably will not get what you think you want, but you will most definitely want what you get. > > Do you take the offer? Sure, that sounds like a good thing to me. I guess I don’t see why I wouldn’t take the wish to get what I ‘want’. ETA: And the rest of you will have to deal with a planet literally overrun with small cute puppies running through endless fields of clover. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/22 "2017-06-14T21:14:19Z")
If history has taught us anything, it’s that magical wish granters cannot be trusted. It doesn’t matter if you choose the wish or the Genie chooses the wish, you’re going to get screwed. The best you can hope for is that no one else gets hurt. My deepest wish is an end to evil Genies and their nefarious tricks. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/23 "2017-06-14T21:21:58Z")
Deep down, everyone wants to die quickly, without pain, never even knowing what hit them, right? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/24 "2017-06-14T21:25:25Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Deep down, everyone wants to die quickly, without pain, never even knowing what hit them, right? :dubious: I want half a minute’s notice. Just in case I need to, say, adjust my wardrobe, or clear my browser history. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/25 "2017-06-14T21:39:45Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > If history has taught us anything, it’s that magical wish granters cannot be trusted. It doesn’t matter if you choose the wish or the Genie chooses the wish, you’re going to get screwed. The best you can hope for is that no one else gets hurt. > > My deepest wish is an end to evil Genies and their nefarious tricks. “Awesome,” says the Genie. “You get your wish, and I get to retire to an island in the Caribbean.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/26 "2017-06-14T21:40:54Z")
Couple of game threads [Corrupted Wish Game](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=466484) Corrupted Wish The [Literal Genie](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LiteralGenie) and the [Jackass Genie](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JackassGenie) were appalled at the shit we came up with. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/27 "2017-06-14T21:41:52Z")
I remember how one of the Hitchhikers’ Guide series books mentioned a planet where humans created robot servants to see to their every need. The robots were programmed to make humans happy at any cost and was their only priority. In time they realized that humans could never really be 100% happy and in the end massacred the planet’s entire population to end their misery. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/28 "2017-06-14T22:34:11Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I remember how one of the Hitchhikers’ Guide series books mentioned a planet where humans created robot servants to see to their every need. The robots were programmed to make humans happy at any cost and was their only priority. In time they realized that humans could never really be 100% happy and in the end massacred the planet’s entire population to end their misery. Still a thousand times better than be forced repeatedly into suspended animation because of a lack of lemon-scented napkins!!! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/29 "2017-06-14T22:38:20Z")
> [@BeepKillBeep](#): > > I would because I’m near certain I know what I want more than anything else in the universe. > [@Ethilrist](#): > > You’ll put your eye out! LOL! Reminds me of the one about the hard-of-hearing genie: [SPOILER]A man walks into a bar with a large box. He sits down at the bar, and the bartender goes up to him and asks whats in the box. The man says “I’ll show you, but only if you get me a beer.” So of course the bartender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a tiny human from the box, and then a tiny piano. The little man sits down and starts playing the piano with skill. “Wow!” exclaims the bartender, “that’s amazing, where did you get him from?” “For another beer, I’ll tell you.” Says the man. So the bartender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and says: “I got it from a genie.” “Really? A real genie??” says the bartender, “do you think I could borrow him for one little wish?” And for another beer the man agrees, but warns: “Speak loudly, he’s 3000 years old and a little deaf.” The bartender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bartender the lamp. The bartender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out, looking very old. “Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?” says the tired old genie. “I wish for a million bucks!” All of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. “What the heck is this?!? I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!” shouts the bartender in anger. And the man says: “Boo hoo, do you think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”[/SPOILER] ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/30 "2017-06-14T23:01:55Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > LOL! Reminds me of the one about the hard-of-hearing genie: > > [SPOILER]A man walks into a bar with a large box. He sits down at the bar, and the bartender goes up to him and asks whats in the box. > > The man says “I’ll show you, but only if you get me a beer.” > > So of course the bartender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a tiny human from the box, and then a tiny piano. The little man sits down and starts playing the piano with skill. > > “Wow!” exclaims the bartender, “that’s amazing, where did you get him from?” > > “For another beer, I’ll tell you.” Says the man. So the bartender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and says: “I got it from a genie.” > > “Really? A real genie??” says the bartender, “do you think I could borrow him for one little wish?” > > And for another beer the man agrees, but warns: “Speak loudly, he’s 3000 years old and a little deaf.” > > The bartender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bartender the lamp. > > The bartender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out, looking very old. “Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?” says the tired old genie. > > “I wish for a million bucks!” > > All of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. “What the heck is this?!? I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!” shouts the bartender in anger. > > And the man says: “Boo hoo, do you think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”[/SPOILER] That’s a classic. So was this Extended Track version from the New Yorker magazine a few years back: [Guy Walks Into a Bar, by Simon Rich](http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/guy-walks-into-a-bar/) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/31 "2017-06-14T23:02:23Z")
Depends. Is Robin Williams the genie? ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/32 "2017-06-14T23:27:25Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Couple of game threads > [Corrupted Wish Game](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=466484) > Corrupted Wish > The [Literal Genie](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LiteralGenie) and the [Jackass Genie](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JackassGenie) were appalled at the shit we came up with. Hey, **running coach**. Your next post will be your 29,000th. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2017, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/33 "2017-06-14T23:58:46Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > Hey, **running coach**. Your next post will be your 29,000th. 🙂 Shhh. Post count celebrations are a forbidden topic. Perfect post for…that milestone. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/34 "2017-06-15T01:36:56Z")
At the moment of being asked, the thing I wish most for is a genie that won’t fuck around with me and will just tell me what it thinks I wish and grant it only if I approve the goddamn wish. I mean, I’ll squinch my eyes and make fists and wish that like a motherFUCKER if that’s what it takes. Edit: of course, if I’m successful, all I get is that wish, since that’s what I want most, and we’re done, so maybe I gotta change plans. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/35 "2017-06-15T03:59:31Z")
As stated in the OP, I am guaranteed to want what I get. If it results in some bad thing happening, then I would not have wanted it, and thus I don’t have to worry about the usual trickster genie trope. So, sure. And it will likely be complete mental health. ---
**Author:** ![igor\_frankensteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/839c29/32.png) [@igor\_frankensteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/igor_frankensteen)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/36 "2017-06-15T04:18:14Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ecks](#): > > Here’s the scenario- > You find a Genie who offers you one wish. However, you do not get to choose the wish; Instead, the Genie will look into your mind and grant the wish that you would make if you truly knew your own desires and were completely honest. In short, you probably will not get what you think you want, but \*\*you will most definitely want what you get. \*\* > > Do you take the offer? Key phrase there makes this question UNinteresting. You might as well ask if I want what I will love after you give it to me. You’ve turned it into a reflexive exercise. Simplified version of the question as stated: “If someone could magically make you happy with what they do, and they did it, would you be happy with what they did?” Even if you try to get sneaky, and suggest the old idea that rich people like to use on poor people in need who they refuse to assist, and say “but you wont get any real pleasure from getting something that you didn’t have to strive for!”, you STILL end up with “you will most definitely want what you get.” Seems to me that the worst thing that could happen would be that the genie would give you something relatively innocuous, like the last comic book that you wanted to complete your collection, but couldn’t afford. At worst, you’d react with “I’d rather have a zillion dollars, but whatever, I like the comic book.” It’s a no-lose proposition. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/37 "2017-06-15T04:55:34Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > That’s a classic. > > So was this Extended Track version from the New Yorker magazine a few years back: > > [Guy Walks Into a Bar, by Simon Rich](http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/guy-walks-into-a-bar/) That’s pretty good! Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/38 "2017-06-15T06:35:50Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > If history has taught us anything, it’s that magical wish granters cannot be trusted. It doesn’t matter if you choose the wish or the Genie chooses the wish, you’re going to get screwed. Especially when the offer itself is tricky, as here. Just the wording of the scenario pings my scam radar. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/39 "2017-06-15T08:54:06Z")
I don’t want to be rich, as such, but I do want to be financially secure. However I’m not sure that’s what the Genie would grant, it would likely be something hidden deeper and more unexpected than that. In the stories there needs to be a lesson learned. But yeah, I’d take the risk and go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965/40 "2017-06-15T08:58:23Z")
> [@igor\_frankensteen](#): > > It’s a no-lose proposition. Well, the OP’s premise works if you accept the idea that we all secretly want to \*\*\*\* our own mothers. That there are monsters lurking in the Id. I have issues with that. For one thing, maybe I “deeply” or “secretly” want to \*\*\*\* my mother. I DON’T, but let’s assume. Even so, if she showed up in my bedroom, that wouldn’t make me happy. I wouldn’t go, “oh, I guess I got what I \*really \*wanted, all righty then”. No! Mom, get out my bedroom! And pass me that giant barrel of brain bleach. That crap is still repressed. Same with the hot twelve year old, as mentioned upthread. Say I secretly wanted to \*\*\*\* a twelve year old. I DON’T. But let’s assume. Again, if one showed up, I’d send him/her back home. Just because I have this deep, dangerous desire doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly act on it. I mean, how does the genie even make a difference? I already have have access to both my mother and twelve year olds. The only thing that has changed since the genie showed up, is that they’re now suddenly appearing in my bedroom, much to everyone’s confusion. Then I have to pay for their taxi home, It’s frankly a hassle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genie-question/788965.md?page=3)