# A Gentle Treatise Comprising Several Real, Yet Minor, Rantable Annoyances **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 23, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010 "2001-04-23T16:13:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/21 "2001-04-23T22:13:31Z")
Was thinking of starting a pet peeves thread in IMHO, but this’ll do. People who tell me “Hi.” every time they see me throughout the day. EVERY SINGLE TIME. ESPECIALLY if I don’t even KNOW them. At school, there’s this girl. She’s in the all-girls showchoir, I’m in the mixed showchoir. We go on trips and stuff and I know her name, but that’s about it. EVERY day, she sees me and says, “Hi!” I can deal with that. But then, when she sees me at lunch, she says, “Hi!” again. Nothing else, not trying to start a conversation, just, “Hi!”. Sometimes up to three, four times a day! It is very annoying. Argh. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/22 "2001-04-24T01:23:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **Cretin #2: We have an elevator at work. When I ride it, I stand to one side before getting on so as to allow the people _on_ the elevator to get off. I am cognizant of the fact that I can’t ride until they’ve exited. Therefore, to my fellow would-be passengers who are standing directly in front of the elevator: You’re forcing a standoff between your own lumpy body and the people trying to exit. Don’t you see that it would be far faster if you _let them off_ before you try to get on? Also, when I’m trying to exit the elevator, same thing applies: "Back off! Get outta my way. Shoo!"** Similarly, when getting off an elevator and needing to stop to check something, etc, Do not STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRIGGIN’ DOOR TO DO IT. WALK THE THREE EXTRA STEPS AND STOP THERE, ALLOWING OTHERS TO CONTINUE ON THEIR MERRY WAY. God DAMN! I’m big. I could just throw them out of my way. Damned Canadian politeness… Same thing with people in large groups, walking slowly, taking EVERY FUCKING INCH OF WALKWAY! **JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!** It’s not that hard to take care of! Either walk faster, or dont take up the entire path so people can go around you! IT’S JUST THAT SIMPLE! MORONS! IDIOTS! RATFUCKMONKEYBASTARDS! You want to stand on the escalator? Fine. STAND TO ONE SIDE! You saw me coming. You know I’m walking. Yet you continue to stand there while I have to wait behind you. Idiot. I once had a nice girl see me coming, step up to get out of my way, and HAVE HER FUCKWAD IDIOT BOYFRIEND STEP UP NEXT TO HER AGAIN! aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA **AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH** HHHHHHHhhhhhh!@#$$!#@#! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!#@$ [sub]Calm down, Mnem… breathe… slow, deep breaths…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/23 "2001-04-24T01:47:01Z")
1. “Blow.” Not just a title, a film review. That is two hours of my life that I’ll never get back. Please, I plead with you, do not see this film. Friends don’t let friends watch crap. 2. The women’s room at my new workplace smells like the unwashed-yet-perfumed snatches (snatchouli) of 1,000 odiferous nursing home residents. How does this smell linger day after day, cleaning after cleaning? Inadequate ventilation? I increase my lung capacity daily, since I must hold my breath during the entire urination and washing-up process to avoid adding the smell of fresh vomit to the air. 3. Yes, you are my friend. Yes, you are on my AOL buddy list. Yet somehow **I don’t wish to talk to you every single time I log onto the computer to check mail, surf the boards, look up the weather forecast, etc.** But there you are, every single time, within seconds of my logging on. And if I ignore you or don’t answer or tell you I am talking to someone else or busy, you get huffy and pouty and annoying. Could you JUST ONCE wait to see if I IM you? BACK OFF!!! You are making me consider changing my handle and not telling you about it. Hmmmm…blocking you forever might work too. ---
**Author:** ![ndorward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@ndorward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ndorward)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/24 "2001-04-24T03:50:28Z")
Sorry–can’t pass up the chestnut about the compose/comprise distinction (so OK, start up a new thread…): > [@](#): > > That is correct, descriptive dictionaries notwithstanding. Merriam Webster specifically OKs the use of “comprise” to mean “compose” or “constitute” & comments: > [@](#): > > Although it has been in use **since the late 18th century** , sense 3 is still attacked as wrong. Why it has been singled out is not clear, but until comparatively recent times it was found chiefly in scientific or technical writing rather than belles lettres. Our current evidence shows a slight shift in usage: sense 3 is somewhat more frequent in recent literary use than the earlier senses. You should be aware, however, that if you use sense 3 you may be subject to criticism for doing so, and you may want to choose a safer synonym such as _compose_ or _make up_. –boldface mine. The _OED_ backs this up–the earliest citation of the sense “constitute” is from 1794; the earliest citation of the “comprised of” formation is from 1874 (see entries 8b and 8c). There are plenty of changes of idiom dating from since the 18th & 19th centuries that we find perfectly acceptable, so I’m at a loss as to why this bit of pedantry is still alive & kicking. Anyway, if both Webster’s & _OED_ OKs the usage, it’s fine with me. --N ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/25 "2001-04-24T05:44:10Z")
I’m guilty of writing checks for small amounts at the grocery store. I don’t have an ATM or debit card anymore, mostly to limit non-essential spending (and also because I had a debit card stolen and my checking account emptied once). I hardly ever carry any cash, either, again to control spending. I try to have most of the check filled out ahead of time, though, and even when I don’t it doesn’t take me very long to write a check, certainly not much longer than it takes for someone to pay with a credit card. I also never go into the aisles that say ‘Cash and Credit Only’, though usually they are shorter and the cashiers are required to let you write a check anyway. The store wants my business enough to let me write them checks, and I have my reasons for wanting to use a check, and I doubt it ever takes me more than a minute longer than if I payed in another method. As to price checks, when I spent the time comparing the price-per-unit of several brands and deliberately chose the best deal, I’m not going to let it slide if the store gets the price wrong, especially after seeing enough exposes about mispricing at stores to believe that often it’s a deliberate attempt to rip off customers. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/26 "2001-04-24T06:36:43Z")
I hate the fucking price checkers. Ok, so we have this big pile of 12-packs of drinks, and there’s a huge sign on top that says drinks - $3.00. Then there’s a piece of paper taped to the Mountain Dew that says Mountain Dew - $2.50. So guess what. A bunch of dumb bastards decide that every drink in the pile is $2.50. Most of them are willing to agree to paying the actual price when I tell them what mistake they made. But we had this one bitch who decides she’s going to fight the evil store that’s trying to rip her off. Since I’m feeling extra nice, I agree to run back to the display and check the price, just for her, even though I know perfectly well that she’s wrong. So I come back and inform her that drinks other than Mountain Dew are $3.00, and she still refuses to believe me, so she insists on going to check herself. And of course she comes back looking embarrassed but will not apologize, because it’s her right to hold up the entire line for almost ten minutes about 50 fucking cents, damn it. Also, the name brand and the store brand are different products with different prices. You can’t get the name brand product at the store brand price. So don’t even try. Same thing goes for advertisements. If the flier says an 8-pack of Brawny paper towels is $5.00, that means that an 8-pack of Brawny paper towels is $5.00. It doesn’t mean that every brand of paper towels is that price. I’ve seen all manner of pricing revisions by customers. That $120 phone is supposed to be $20. Yeah, right. Screw you, I’m not that stupid. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/27 "2001-04-24T07:07:33Z")
Ooohh, store parking lots! I’ve been mistaken as a store employee at times because I round up the stray carts and put them in their assigned place. It’s only a few feet people, what’s the big deal? Also, I would like to take this opportunity to address the cretins who throw down the empty drink cups or half-eaten sandwiches wherever they happen to be standing. See that cylindrical object about five feet to your right? It’s called a TRASH CAN. See, it’s a receptacle for TRASH. So use it! And maybe this place wouldn’t look like such a pig sty. No offense meant to swine of course. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/28 "2001-04-24T09:22:03Z")
I bought a single sanitary pad today from the dispenser in the Ladies. It’s in a sealed plastic box. I don’t know what the secret is to opening it. I gave up and bought tampons at the same exorbitant price. My SO spent ten minutes with tools and he couldn’t get the little plastic sarcophagus open. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/29 "2001-04-24T13:08:11Z")
Another store parking lot story: I worked as a ‘cart wrangler’ at a grocery store for one school year. The lot was on a bit of a slope and carts left in the middle would all roll down to the bottom. One day when it was raining, a woman unpacked the cart, aimed the cart across the slope, and gave it a shove in the general direction of the cart corral. She saw that the cart was curving down hill, but jumped in her car and drove off while the cart made a big ding in the door of a nice new Mercedes. The other story is the ‘inexperienced dad’ story. Dad is shopping with junior in the cart seat. You can tell he doesn’t shop with junior much from the amount of thrashing about he does getting things organized. He gets to his car, finds he keys, opens the trunk, looks at the mess in there and starts rearranging things so the groceries will fit. Meanwhile, the cart with junior in is rolling off down the parking lot! I was just a few yards away and caught the cart, but the look on dad’s face when he reached for the groceries and the cart was gone was priceless! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/30 "2001-04-24T13:39:46Z")
magdalene: Oh yes. My mum is in a nursing home temporarily. You are right. I dunno why it smells that way. ThisYearsGirl: Amen sister!(you know what I mean;) Personally, I love it when a grocery clerk asks you how much an item is, you Know, but she Doesn’t Believe You! She Must send someone to go check. I’m always right and I wasn’t lying!! How about the people on a public phone? You are waiting, and they seem to be talking about what they might do later on in the day, "Ya wanna listen to music? How bout going out?..long pause) Hello! I need to use the phone! Once I even told the person (usually young) I’d give them a quarter to call back if I could use it for 30 seconds! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/31 "2001-04-24T13:40:45Z")
Maybe it’s just me, but lately I seem to think the following is on the rise, especially where I live. (Smallish city) It really makes me angry when traffic on the major street comes to a standstill because of a delivery vehicle of some sort. No, wait there’s more. I don’t mean in cases where the thing clearly couldn’t go anywhere else, or the odd occasion when you’re moving something especially difficult like, say, a wallsafe. I mean they’ve blocked a single lane main atery because they’re too lazy to pull into a driveway. Even though there is clealy one - RIGHT THERE. Last week, I swear this is true, the gas man came, at my request, to my rental property next door. He pulls his van up on the street in front of the house and stops even though it’s quite a busy street. I come out of my house and tell him you can park in my laneway. Oh no, I’ll just be a minute. WTF? Traffic was already snarling before our eyes. I see this everywhere, a laneway or sidestreet within spitting distance of a delivery vehicle, with some beefy cretin delivering something the size of a toaster! And while I’m at it, the same goes for cabs that don’t bother to pull into the drive and off the street. It seems that it is now acceptable to simply pull up and honk. I am waiting for my cab inside my front door, ready to go, if you honk before I have a chance to open the door your tip just decreased. Same with having your window open, if I wanted to be cold, I’d have walked instead of taking a cab. It feels really wonderful to get this off my chest, thank you, thank you for the vehicle! ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/32 "2001-04-25T03:19:39Z")
To the guy who swipes the ID cards at the dining hall: I acknowledge that you are mentally disabled. This has never been a problem in the past, as you always perform your duties cheerfully and completely. When you are not swiping the IDs, you are sweeping or clearing tables, and you do an excellent job. However, the next time you refuse to return my ID unless I “smile because it’s Friday,” I will tear you limb from limb. And then I will find the person who taught you that this is an appropriate behavior, and he or she will receive similar treatment. I have complained to your supervisor, who seems to think the behavior is harmless. It is not. It irritates me to no end. Please consider stopping this, lest I lose control someday. Regards, Juniper ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/33 "2001-04-25T14:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Garfield226 \* > \*\*Was thinking of starting a pet peeves thread in IMHO, but this’ll do. > > People who tell me “Hi.” every time they see me throughout the day. EVERY SINGLE TIME. ESPECIALLY if I don’t even KNOW them. > At school, there’s this girl. She’s in the all-girls showchoir, I’m in the mixed showchoir. We go on trips and stuff and I know her name, but that’s about it. EVERY day, she sees me and says, “Hi!” I can deal with that. But then, when she sees me at lunch, she says, “Hi!” again. Nothing else, not trying to start a conversation, just, “Hi!”. Sometimes up to three, four times a day! It is very annoying. Argh. \*\* Garf, I know lots of men are flirt-impaired… I am myself… but even I can see what’s going on here. _ **SHE WANTS YOU** _, you big stud! After all those trips surrounded by nothing but girls, she sees you, standing there, all testosteroney [sub](which, by the way, is the REAL San Francisco treat)[/sub] and waves of desire billow over her. Her legs tremble. Her mouth is dry, all its moisture having been commandeered for another location. She’s too shy to admit that she wants to drag you to the floor and commence with the _allegro con vivace_, so she just says “Hi” and waits for YOU to say, “Hi, and how YOU doin’?” Get to WORK, man. Before you know it she’ll do a _glissando_ on you (for non-musicians, “glissando” means to drop in pitch - or, to put it another way, “to go down”). ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/34 "2001-04-25T14:16:58Z")
very clever Chef, glissandro. Ha. Wonder if Clinton knows about that word ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/35 "2001-04-25T14:21:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*very clever Chef, glissandro. Ha. Wonder if Clinton knows about that word \*\* As a musician, I’m sure he does. As a sax player, he certainly knows about the importance of moistening your reed once in a while. _grin_ ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/36 "2001-04-26T03:13:11Z")
I, for one, watch the scanner like a hawk at the grocery store, because they guarantee scanning accuracy or the item is free. Which is how I managed to walk out of there with about $15 worth of frozen pizza one day; they were listed as 2 for $5, but the scanner rang them up as $3.49 or something. On another note, pretentious people piss me off. Guy comes into the store, flings his credit card on the counter (which I have just cleaned, so the card slides off onto the floor), and announces in a loud voice, “Gas in the Beamer!” So I pick his card up, move to the window, point, and say, “That little blue car out there?” Nothing bursts a pompous twit’s bubble faster than the sound of a half-dozen truck drivers snickering. While I’m sort of on the subject (and has anyone been able to tell yet I have absolutely no life other than my job?) I understand that we have ancient pumps. I sympathize with you that you have to walk that long six feet into the store to pay for your gas because you can’t do it outside. But I didn’t build the place. And if you’re going to stick the nozzle into your tank, turn it on, and then come inside to wander around while it pumps, don’t bitch at me if it overflows and you end up paying for what’s on the ground. The automatic shut-off almost always works, but anything man-made is fallible. And for the love of Tony Randall, when you go back out, hang up the nozzle before you drive off! You have no idea what a pain in the ass it is to replace the hose after the breakaway fails and it rips in two. Even worse, I’ve seen those nozzles come flying out of the car and snap viciously back, and thank God there was no one standing there. I threw my back out today racing around the counter to get out the door, trying to stop some yahoo on the farthest pump from pulling this stunt. And the next person who acts surprised that I know how to count change correctly shall suffer my wrath. Gee, I know how to do my job. What a concept. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/37 "2001-04-26T05:15:55Z")
Oh, Marli, I was SOOOO hoping that the Beamer guy’s card was over the limit…or that you had to cut it up! And, unfortunately, a lot of cashiers DON’T know how to make change. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/38 "2001-04-26T11:57:04Z")
To the person who parked blocking one of the three whole handicap spots allotted in the lot by the science building on Monday, FUCK YOU. Some of us need those spaces! You weren’t even in a real spot – you just LEFT your car sitting there. This time I left a note on your car. Next time I’m having you towed. I can DO that. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/39 "2001-04-26T12:47:32Z")
> [@](#): > > How about the people on a public phone? > You are waiting, and they seem to be talking about what they might do later on in the day, "Ya wanna listen to music? How bout going out?..long pause) > Hello! I need to use the phone! > Once I even told the person (usually young) I’d give them a quarter to call back if I could use it for 30 seconds! Riddle me this: What’s more aneurysm-inducingly annoying than waiting on some shmuck hogging the only working pay phone? Answer: Waiting on some shmuck hogging the only working pay phone, with a fucking cell phone clipped to his pocket. Twatmonkey. Riddle me THIS: What’s more annoying than a table of Cretin #4s? Answer: A table of Cretin #4s with a bunch of spawn, screaming at the top of their lungs and wondering around the resturant, tripping up the waitstaff. News flash, Fuckleberry: Your kid isn’t cute. Your kid is in the fucking way. Move said kid, before someone steps on the little tyke, or the local pedophile takes it for a ride(No pun intended). Don’t you watch the news? **CrankyAsAnOldMan** : I will submit that your particular variety of Cretin #4 lives in movie theaters, impressing everyone around them with their cell phone calls. It’s the only explanation I can think of for the phenomenon, especially considering that anytime one of these monkey wankers gets a call, it’s always one of those mind-numbinlgy clever ditties that sounds out, instead of a regular phone ring. What’s that? Your phone plays the first ten bars of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake? I just came. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010/40 "2001-04-26T13:11:02Z")
Gentlefolk, I appreciate your contributions to this, my humble thread, and would ask that you feel free to continue. I would like to add Cretin numbers to several of the cretins listed who, had I the wit or talent, I would certainly have included in my initial rant: Cretin #5) The person who leaves shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot Cretin #6) The person who doesn’t refil the water jug in the fridge, or (if I may be permitted to expand) put a NEW roll of toilet paper on after finishing the old one. Note that one tiny, dangling thread of paper does not substantiate the response “Hey man. There’s still toilet paper left”. Cretin #7)People who hog public phones. Where I work, there are 5 free phones. They have a 5 minute time limit. There are also pay phones that don’t. Somehow, cretins in various other offices are always found hogging those phones (often varients of cretin #4 (“EEEEEEE I loooooved that CD! \ EEEEEEE I _knew_ you would. Wasn’t the first word of that song great? And the second one was too! EEEEEE”) Cretin #8)The person holding up the checkout line for any of a variety of reasons rather than checking out and going to the store manager. and a few new additions of my own: Cretin #9: Sir or madame: the purpose of an “on-ramp” to a highway is to allow your vehicle to attain something close to the ambient speed of the motorists on the highway. It is not for sightseeing, adjusting your makeup/tie or anything else. It is unsafe to merge onto a highway at 26 miles an hour when the posted speed is 55 and the actual average speed is 63. If your vehicle is unable to attain these speeds, please…PLEASE stay off the highway. Cretin #10: Sir: do you see the blinking light on one side of the rear of my auto? It’s bright red and clearly visible. Let us define our terms. When you see a blinky light on one side of the rear of an auto, it _doesn’t_ mean “Hey! Time for me to speed up”, it means “The person over there needs/wants to merge into my lane. I will allow him to do so.” Perhaps it would reinforce this reminder if you would write a hundred times “Someone merging into my lane does not threaten my masculinity nor does it make my penis shrink” As ever, Fenris [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gentle-treatise-comprising-several-real-yet-minor-rantable-annoyances/63010.md?page=3)