# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 122
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2423 "2021-01-13T13:31:11Z")
Behold the splendor of the Topiariodon! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2424 "2021-01-13T20:52:07Z")
Hmm. Let’s go with this one: > [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > Remember to brush after every meal. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2021, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2425 "2021-01-14T04:30:19Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Hmm. Let’s go with this one: > > > [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > > > Remember to brush after every meal.  Maybe summon @Bonum_Legatum by @name. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2021, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2426 "2021-01-14T13:00:20Z")
Thank you. In the “spirit of the staircase” I’ll submit “Brushing after every meal isn’t that bad, but flossing is hell.” I don’t have a good picture to post, so please go to the back up plan. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2021, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2427 "2021-01-14T13:55:05Z")
@Bicycle_Bill - Why don’t you give us our next pic. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2428 "2021-01-15T01:08:56Z")
I’m not sure how to post pictures yet and I’m a-feared I would booger things up. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2429 "2021-01-15T02:31:52Z")
Here’s one. [![](https://preview.redd.it/7oz0km3z0dz31.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=2144b7f691006a6f158c110621561b0c4807d8af) ](https://preview.redd.it/7oz0km3z0dz31.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=2144b7f691006a6f158c110621561b0c4807d8af) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2430 "2021-01-15T03:19:16Z")
Mattel discontinued Track Star Barbie because few girls wanted to buy additional outfits for the dolls. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2431 "2021-01-15T03:35:05Z")
In the Beehive Sprint, the entrants must wear that hairstyle, either with a wig or naturally; and if there is a tie, the win goes to the entrant with the most massive hair. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the event never got Olympic status. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2432 "2021-01-15T15:07:37Z")
The first ever Polyester Race came to a standstill as none of the entrants could overcome aerodynamic drag. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2433 "2021-01-15T15:53:46Z")
Bouffants buff up. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2434 "2021-01-15T15:54:40Z")
Preparing for the Runway ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2435 "2021-01-15T17:32:09Z")
_Dear **Track and Field News** Forum: I never used to think the stories you printed were real, until one day…_ ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2436 "2021-01-15T18:22:12Z")
Track and Field in the year 2220: Full Contact Sprints became so dangerous that they contestants were forced to wear hair helmets, although the rules prohibited them from wearing body armor. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2437 "2021-01-15T19:19:00Z")
It’s Sadie Hawkins Day! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2438 "2021-01-16T13:41:12Z")
The Winner > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > The first ever Polyester Race came to a standstill as none of the entrants could overcome aerodynamic drag. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2439 "2021-01-16T14:44:44Z")
And now for something completely different [![](https://bluejayblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/absurd-portrait.jpg) ](https://bluejayblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/absurd-portrait.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2440 "2021-01-16T14:56:10Z")
Good news! Emotional support animals are now welcome at AA meetings. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2441 "2021-01-16T15:56:52Z")
I understand the child being put into timeout for smoking, but what did the chicken do wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2442 "2021-01-16T15:58:25Z")
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