# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 132
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2021, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2623 "2021-02-03T17:15:46Z")
First step in camouflage training, fitting the googly eyes goggles. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2021, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2624 "2021-02-03T17:33:14Z")
“Whoa! That finger’s cold!” “Yeah, keep thinking it was a finger.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2021, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2625 "2021-02-03T22:56:20Z")
The day Private Harris learned how Corporal Goose got his nickname. ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2626 "2021-02-04T21:29:08Z")
I was expecting a wedgie comment of some sort… But barring that, I’ll declare @Knowed_Out the winner. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2627 "2021-02-05T11:55:01Z")
This one looks suitably nightmarish. [![](https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/422cbc1/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3332x2594+0+0/resize/1850x1440!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmediaassets.fox13now.com%2Ftribune-network%2Ftribkstu-files-wordpress%2F2019%2F11%2Fgettyimages-3372866.jpg) ](https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/422cbc1/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3332x2594+0+0/resize/1850x1440!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmediaassets.fox13now.com%2Ftribune-network%2Ftribkstu-files-wordpress%2F2019%2F11%2Fgettyimages-3372866.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2628 "2021-02-05T12:00:00Z")
And if it doesn’t work, at least it doubles as an abattoir. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2629 "2021-02-05T12:02:02Z")
In their chairs they looked so scared, None of 'em felt quite prepared. The could have avoided all that stress If they’d gone with, you can guess: –Burma Shave ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2630 "2021-02-05T13:29:37Z")
I stopped in at the new barber’s He showed me just where I should sit Imagine my horror and other’s To learn he was crazy as… Shaving cream Be nice and clean Shave everyday and you’ll always look keen. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2631 "2021-02-05T13:59:22Z")
Ramping up production on Fleet Street. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2632 "2021-02-05T14:11:27Z")
Jakob was forced to find other employment after losing his mohel certification. ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2633 "2021-02-05T14:11:29Z")
The true story of how the No-Lips Gang got its name ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2634 "2021-02-05T15:13:40Z")
Shortly after Johnson attempted to actually create a Rube Goldberg machine, he was tried for manslaughter. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2635 "2021-02-05T15:16:54Z")
On the other side of the room was Casey Johnson, proving he could shave a man faster than any machine! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2636 "2021-02-05T15:18:17Z")
Sweeney Todd had to find a way to up production as the demand for Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pies increased. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2637 "2021-02-05T16:04:55Z")
You put your head in, you put your head out, You put your head in, and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around - That’s what it’s all about. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2638 "2021-02-05T16:19:29Z")
“Be Done” is frighteningly vague turn of phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2639 "2021-02-05T22:18:55Z")
The shaving machine was a failure, but the state Department of Corrections expressed interest in this new method of conducting mass executions. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2640 "2021-02-06T12:21:25Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > In their chairs they looked so scared, > None of 'em felt quite prepared. > The could have avoided all that stress > If they’d gone with, you can guess: > –Burma Shave Many terrific captions, so hard to choose, but the Burma Shave homage wins it. Grats Prof! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2641 "2021-02-06T15:36:02Z")
Thank you. Next: [![](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/news/2016/06/20/101167774_A_biker_shows_his_12-year-old_cat_Chiquinho_-which_always_rides_with_him_on_his_motorbike-_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqpVlberWd9EgFPZtcLiMQf1X_50byq9Ah3wJAV0YS_Ms.jpg?imwidth=1400) ](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/news/2016/06/20/101167774_A_biker_shows_his_12-year-old_cat_Chiquinho_-which_always_rides_with_him_on_his_motorbike-_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqpVlberWd9EgFPZtcLiMQf1X_50byq9Ah3wJAV0YS_Ms.jpg?imwidth=1400) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2642 "2021-02-06T15:39:24Z")
The guys remaking _Easy Rider_ cheaped out when casting the Jack Nicholson part. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=131) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=133)