# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 147
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2926 "2021-03-08T01:59:45Z")
“You stand accused of calling your sister a ‘stink-brain’. How do you plead?” _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2927 "2021-03-08T02:43:53Z")
“Young sir, this is not the choice of attire we expect of our cigar box models.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2928 "2021-03-08T03:22:48Z")
You shall never pass the bar exam at this rate, Lord Kelvin. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2929 "2021-03-08T03:56:02Z")
“I cannot tell a lie. I chopped her cherry with my little hatchet.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2930 "2021-03-08T05:26:42Z")
_After an extensive process of examination and deliberation, the Art Wardens decided to approve Gainsborough’s design for “The Blue Boy.” But they rejected the companion piece, “Greenie,” and instructed him to fine a different subject._ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2931 "2021-03-08T10:38:08Z")
You said, “Please, sir, I want some more.” Now, tell us why you think that you deserve some more. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2932 "2021-03-08T14:44:03Z")
“When did you last see your father’s…tailor?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2933 "2021-03-08T15:25:31Z")
So the question before us, Master Harwick, is what have you done with your sister’s cat? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2934 "2021-03-08T18:33:15Z")
The examination for determining if you are tall enough for the E ticket rides at Cromwelland is really intense. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2935 "2021-03-08T22:45:37Z")
Oh, god, my brother’s telling them _that_ story. Please, please let me just disappear! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2936 "2021-03-08T23:24:22Z")
Judge Judy. Season 1, episode 1. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2021, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2937 "2021-03-08T23:26:58Z")
So, Loretta, they tell me you’re Trans these days and I must call you Lawrence. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2938 "2021-03-09T01:26:32Z")
So many good ones this round! But I enjoyed the attention to detail here. > [@Quondam\_Mechanic](#): > > Oh, god, my brother’s telling them _that_ story. Please, please let me just disappear! @Quondam_Mechanic you da man! Go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2939 "2021-03-09T03:01:03Z")
Thanks, Kent\_Clark. I wasn’t t thrilled with this one at first, but it’s kind of growing on me. [https://www.teamjimmyjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/vintage-postcard-animal-land-bikini.jpg](https://www.teamjimmyjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/vintage-postcard-animal-land-bikini.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2940 "2021-03-09T03:52:27Z")
“And this year’s Fay Wray Award goes to Miss Betty-Jane Marshall, of Peoria, Illinois!” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2941 "2021-03-09T10:35:09Z")
Elly May’s love for critters took an ugly turn the day she rescued Coco. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2942 "2021-03-09T12:13:29Z")
The model originally wanted leopard skin, but the Animal Land organizers thought that sent a conflicting message. After hours of intense negotiation, they settled on alligator skin because they ate the flamingo exhibit. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2943 "2021-03-09T18:41:28Z")
In an attempt to calm Kong down, they brought in the Amazing 50 Foot Woman. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2944 "2021-03-09T21:27:49Z")
The animals of the jungle were aghast when Jane left Tarzan, but her second marriage was a happy one. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2021, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/2945 "2021-03-09T22:04:03Z")
_Animal Land_ finally garnered the approval of the page three crowd George Orwell secretly craved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=146) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=148)