# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 158
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2021, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3146 "2021-03-28T21:47:12Z")
Floikbin didn’t impress anyone with his size, but trust me, the girls loved him. ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2021, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3147 "2021-03-28T21:55:43Z")
As the alien pondered the tornado’s horrific power, I wondered, “Where exactly is this alien’s brain?” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2021, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3148 "2021-03-28T22:06:01Z")
The Planet X Reptilian chapter of “Up, With People!” takes a more literal approach to the organization. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2021, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3149 "2021-03-28T22:34:33Z")
What do you expect in _Whizz Comics_? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2021, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3150 "2021-03-28T23:14:05Z")
They fart from the front! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2021, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3151 "2021-03-29T03:30:57Z")
_Only David Icke survived to warn the people of Earth about Peter North’s true form._ ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2021, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3152 "2021-03-29T09:53:51Z")
Stupid humans, bringing clubs and pitchforks to a qardozxz fight. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2021, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3153 "2021-03-29T20:37:20Z")
Penis vacuum. Worst. Superpower. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2021, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3154 "2021-03-29T20:42:13Z")
Alas, a species that has mastered interplanetary travel has yet to grasp the basics of feminine hygiene. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3155 "2021-03-30T00:42:32Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > They fart from the front! Snicker. You win. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3156 "2021-03-30T11:41:44Z")
Thanks! Here we have: [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0a/c2/ee/0ac2eebb85144c9e94a4373c3243d3cd.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0a/c2/ee/0ac2eebb85144c9e94a4373c3243d3cd.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3157 "2021-03-30T13:07:42Z")
Sampson eagerly awaited his copy of Penthound magazine each month. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3158 "2021-03-30T13:40:22Z")
Mr. DeJoy’s demotion made everybody happy. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3159 "2021-03-30T15:20:46Z")
Tom had heard stories from other letter carriers about naked beauties exposing themselves, but when it happened to him, he felt really, really cheated. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3160 "2021-03-30T15:24:01Z")
Is “short fence, tall dog, eye contact” too long to fit in the blank for cause of death on the coroner’s report? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3161 "2021-03-30T16:05:55Z")
The Eternal Conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3162 "2021-03-30T16:22:14Z")
“I’ll endure rain, sleet, snow and the dead of night, but a giant dog capable of walking on two legs and a short gate is where I draw the line.” ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3163 "2021-03-30T19:18:54Z")
He says he wants to go out. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3164 "2021-03-30T20:11:00Z")
“Not another stringy, flavorless mail carrier! What I would give for a nicely aged Avon lady, or a well-marbled meter reader…” ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3165 "2021-03-30T22:57:01Z")
“… and I’m almost all out of gumdrops.” _…(shout-out to Bob Newhart)_ _ **-“BB”-** _ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=157) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=159)