# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 191
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3806 "2021-06-09T12:40:51Z")
How do I kiss her? VERY carefully. I want to run my fingers through your…never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3807 "2021-06-09T13:26:24Z")
The slimmest girl named “Porky” you’ll ever meet. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3808 "2021-06-09T13:27:48Z")
She let that old Sega video game go to her head. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3809 "2021-06-09T15:17:41Z")
I asked if there was a hairstyle that could show off my tits, but someone misunderstood. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3810 "2021-06-09T19:08:22Z")
I did it so white people would quit touching my hair. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3811 "2021-06-09T22:35:53Z")
The live-action Broadway production of _Sing!_ will open soon. Here’s a sneak peek the actress who will play Ash, the porcupine. ---
**Author:** ![CorpusNeptune](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corpusneptune/32/17561_2.png) [@CorpusNeptune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CorpusNeptune)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3812 "2021-06-09T22:49:29Z")
“Jeez, I knew that nipples harden up when I’m cold, but I didn’t know hair did that, too!” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3813 "2021-06-10T01:23:22Z")
_Suzette wasn’t sure she could pull off Kate Moss’s waif look, so she decided to hedge her bets with an urchin style._ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3814 "2021-06-10T13:14:51Z")
The winner! > [@Spoons](#): > > The live-action Broadway production of _Sing!_ will open soon. Here’s a sneak peek the actress who will play Ash, the porcupine. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3815 "2021-06-10T21:03:50Z")
Thanks, **Professor**! Okay, let’s try this: [![](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/12/18/1387367997083/Dachshunds-sit-in-their-p-003.jpg?width=1010&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=f59c2ec8aadbbaa003c4035f0f7c94f2) ](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/12/18/1387367997083/Dachshunds-sit-in-their-p-003.jpg?width=1010&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=f59c2ec8aadbbaa003c4035f0f7c94f2) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3816 "2021-06-10T21:34:07Z")
The motion to outlaw vacuum cleaners passed unanimously. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3817 "2021-06-10T22:18:14Z")
_Sometimes, international diplomacy requires one to negotiate with some real sons of bitches._ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3818 "2021-06-10T22:22:10Z")
_The delegate from Cameroon proposes a resolution that the Honorable delegate from Zambia is a good boy, yes he is!_ ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3819 "2021-06-10T23:08:02Z")
All in favor of going for a walk say “arf”. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3820 "2021-06-10T23:15:40Z")
It’s a dog-eat-dog world, y’know. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3821 "2021-06-11T02:10:45Z")
The delegate from Bahrain missed the vote as he had to go walkies. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3822 "2021-06-11T10:17:06Z")
“Around here, we never use the word NEUTRAL. Bad connotations.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3823 "2021-06-11T10:53:22Z")
None of the delegates could read, but managed to locate their seats by urine marking. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3824 "2021-06-11T12:20:21Z")
The only thing they could agree on was that Lebanon has the coolest flag. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3825 "2021-06-11T14:57:56Z")
You’d think the First World countries could throw us Third Worlders a bone now and then. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=190) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=192)