# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 196
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2021, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3906 "2021-06-27T15:08:54Z")
Lumber billionaire ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2021, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3907 "2021-06-27T15:09:58Z")
šŸŽµI bought a Volkswagen Jetta and we call it a woodie (Surf City, here we come) šŸŽµ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2021, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3908 "2021-06-27T15:26:34Z")
ā€œI ainā€™t gonna pay no delivery charge. Thatā€™s how they get ya!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2021, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3909 "2021-06-27T15:30:22Z")
ā€œGuess Iā€™d better get my suspension fixed.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2021, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3910 "2021-06-27T15:31:50Z")
Was he plying down the highway or was he merely lumbering along it? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2021, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3911 "2021-06-27T19:07:57Z")
Shoulda used your 4x4 for those 2x4ā€™s. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3912 "2021-06-28T10:53:19Z")
ā€œIā€™LL BE BACK TO PICK UP 25 FIFTY POUND BAGS OF CONCRETE MIX.ā€ To borrow a phrase from Click and Clack, the Magliozzi brothers: ā€œUnencumbered by the thought process.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3913 "2021-06-28T16:30:10Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Shoulda used your 4x4 for those 2x4ā€™s. Gonna give this one to the Prof. Take it away. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3914 "2021-06-28T16:44:05Z")
Thanks! Now we have: [![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kBXMJvY3wuA/WPDVk6vlQLI/AAAAAAAA0CE/rWXkP8zxAD4mDLIHnl0OVL6iBChlInZ0QCLcB/s1600/Couples%2Bfrom%2Bbetween%2Bthe%2B1840s%2Bto%2B1850s%2B%252836%2529.jpg) ](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kBXMJvY3wuA/WPDVk6vlQLI/AAAAAAAA0CE/rWXkP8zxAD4mDLIHnl0OVL6iBChlInZ0QCLcB/s1600/Couples%2Bfrom%2Bbetween%2Bthe%2B1840s%2Bto%2B1850s%2B%252836%2529.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3915 "2021-06-28T16:55:45Z")
When I told my grandparents they still look the way they did in their High School prom photo, it wasnā€™t a complement. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3916 "2021-06-28T16:59:09Z")
A marital detente of sorts was established through the doctrine of mutual assured destruction (MAD) enforced by the ever present threat of the steel-bound Bible and the rule-of-thumb walking stick. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3917 "2021-06-28T17:54:24Z")
ā€œThank you for coming in. Mr. Grant Wood will let you know if you will be posing for ā€˜American Gothicā€™.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3918 "2021-06-28T18:11:32Z")
ā€œOur upper arms are touching.ā€ ā€œYou realize they can only touch when we need farm help.ā€ ā€œBut all the children are gone. Surely we canā€¦ā€ ā€œOur father, who art in heavenā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3919 "2021-06-28T19:07:48Z")
_Hey, Mr. Brady, could you step up the pace on this portrait? I know the plates need a long exposure time, but Iā€™d like to get back to running the store while weā€™re still twenty-six._ ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3920 "2021-06-28T21:58:16Z")
Donā€™t worry, dear. Theyā€™ll retouch your cheeks and youā€™ll look like a teenager again. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2021, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3921 "2021-06-28T22:01:09Z")
Sid & Nancy: The Golden Yesrs ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2021, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3922 "2021-06-29T00:48:58Z")
Ebenezer and Edna Brown, all set for a day at the beach. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2021, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3923 "2021-06-29T00:50:39Z")
Donā€™t come a knockinā€™ when the bonnet is hanging on the doorknob. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2021, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3924 "2021-06-29T14:11:51Z")
And Elmer wins for > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Sid & Nancy: The Golden Yesrs Well done, all! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2021, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/3925 "2021-06-29T14:24:27Z")
Thanks, Prof. [![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2013/11/05/arts/THISLAND/THISLAND-superJumbo.jpg) ](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2013/11/05/arts/THISLAND/THISLAND-superJumbo.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=195) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=197)