# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 204
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2021, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4066 "2021-07-19T13:14:47Z")
Before liposuction. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2021, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4067 "2021-07-19T13:15:11Z")
Look at the breasts on that one! ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2021, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4068 "2021-07-19T13:32:19Z")
_“Help me!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2021, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4069 "2021-07-19T13:44:00Z")
Why can’t the Aussies just call it a BBQ like the rest of the world? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2021, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4070 "2021-07-19T13:50:53Z")
“It’s a turkey suit, darling. Excellent for restoring plasticity to the skin.” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2021, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4071 "2021-07-19T15:06:34Z")
You asked **Aunt Nora** to stuff the turkey for Thanksgiving? Don’t you remember how she gift-wrapped the cat for Christmas! _(National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.)_ You’ll know when the turkey is done; when the temperature gauge pops out. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4072 "2021-07-20T02:46:36Z")
" 🎶 Oh, Mr. Beean 🎶 🎶 🎶" (Not in play because I have no pics and I must post.) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4073 "2021-07-20T04:48:15Z")
While Fourth of July Barbie and New Year’s Barbie did very well, Thanksgiving Barbie was surprisingly unpopular. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4074 "2021-07-20T08:16:28Z")
You people are all too damn clever. But for the ingenious movie reference, I award the next round to: > [@Quondam\_Mechanic](#): > > “Help me!” Go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4075 "2021-07-20T13:01:58Z")
Sorry for the delay, folks – time zone differences. **Gyrate** , your sense of humor may be similar to mine. If people start throwing things at you from time to time, don’t be surprised. But thanks for the pick. Here’s one that I don’t think we did – but if I’m wrong about that, please let me know. [![](https://theawesomedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/random-pictures-that-make-no-sense-4-1.jpeg) ](https://theawesomedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/random-pictures-that-make-no-sense-4-1.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4076 "2021-07-20T13:05:57Z")
“Ouch! I _felt_ that!” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4077 "2021-07-20T13:07:09Z")
“When you invited me to a ‘pool party’, this is not what I expected.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4078 "2021-07-20T13:10:02Z")
Room 102 at the Ministry of Love is only a slight improvement over Room 101. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4079 "2021-07-20T14:39:33Z")
Keep your eye on the ball. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4080 "2021-07-20T16:22:32Z")
In Billiards Dojo, you must repeatedly experience the humiliation if you ever scratch the 8-ball. If you shank the opening shot, you experience 1,000 pool cue buttocks thrashings. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2021, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4081 "2021-07-21T15:25:48Z")
Alas, this one didn’t inspire a flood of responses, but the ones it did inspire were fun. > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > In Billiards Dojo, you must repeatedly experience the humiliation if you ever scratch the 8-ball. If you shank the opening shot, you experience 1,000 pool cue buttocks thrashings. Both politically incorrect and very silly. (My runner-up was **Elmer’s** Ministry of Love reference.) Go for it, **K\_O**. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2021, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4082 "2021-07-21T16:05:24Z")
An entire book could be written about this one, but minimal is fine. [![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2021/02/16/learning/VTS02-21-21LN/VTS02-21-21LN-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp) ](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2021/02/16/learning/VTS02-21-21LN/VTS02-21-21LN-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2021, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4083 "2021-07-21T16:49:07Z")
The man on the left is being dehydrated with Brand X salt blocks. The man on the right, however, is being dehydrated with Atsuraki brand salt blocks, and is much more comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4084 "2021-07-21T17:28:58Z")
Researchers in China have developed the all-white tribble. They said it was no trouble at all. Orange jumpsuit is now the mandatory dress code. Scofflaws will spend a day in the box. This is what happens when you squeeze the Charmin. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2021, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4085 "2021-07-21T17:34:45Z")
Attempts to replace the Iron Maiden with the more humane “Crouton Maiden” had mixed success. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=203) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=205)