# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 218
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2021, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4346 "2021-08-26T10:07:51Z")
I told you, just hire a white van man to carry our gear. But noooo, you had to advertise for a carrier in _Extraterrestrial Soldier of Fortune_ magazine. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2021, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4347 "2021-08-26T13:43:08Z")
The winner > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Ringo, you just had to pull that lever, didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2021, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4348 "2021-08-26T15:04:47Z")
Thankee kindly. Let’s try this one… [![](https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.KEaakiJLxSM0uoIbNcZTWQHaDt?pid=ImgDet&rs=1) ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.KEaakiJLxSM0uoIbNcZTWQHaDt?pid=ImgDet&rs=1) ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2021, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4349 "2021-08-26T15:34:57Z")
Bubba, you may want to switch into 4 wheel drive. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2021, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4350 "2021-08-26T15:41:30Z")
“How far away is the Charlottesville rally?” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2021, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4351 "2021-08-26T16:25:53Z")
Due to staffing cutbacks, Hank Kimball’s territory was expanded to cover Hooterville AND Crabwell Corners. He rushed from one farm to the next. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2021, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4352 "2021-08-27T10:27:05Z")
Boing! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2021, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4353 "2021-08-27T13:32:56Z")
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > Due to staffing cutbacks, Hank Kimball’s territory was expanded to cover Hooterville AND Crabwell Corners. He rushed from one farm to the next. Our winner! Take it away, BL! ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2021, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4354 "2021-08-27T15:14:55Z")
Thank you. Maybe one day there will be a Hank Kimball special edition Bronco. Well, maybe not a SPECIAL edition.(blank stare) Er, what was the question again anyway? The August heat is getting to me, I look forward to your responses on this: [[Album] Early 1900’s fireman suit with built-in water sprinkler. This allowed the... ![](https://i.imgur.com/h9h9ELh.jpeg?fb "Early 1900’s fireman suit with built-in water sprinkler. This allowed the...") ](https://imgur.com/gallery/oFWMARV) Sigh, another “Click on the link to see the full picture.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2021, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4355 "2021-08-27T15:41:39Z")
“I’m not just an Enema Club for Men technician, I’m also a client.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2021, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4356 "2021-08-27T15:52:54Z")
Boy, boy, crazy boy… Keep cool, boy! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2021, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4357 "2021-08-27T15:53:33Z")
Hail, Hydrant! ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2021, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4358 "2021-08-28T15:26:13Z")
An early attempt to allow the Creature from the Black Lagoon to live among humans. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2021, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4359 "2021-08-28T15:26:33Z")
Patent 18119944924243243: Social Distancing Enforcement Suit. I’ll give this one to Prof. Pepperwinkle for “Boy, boy, crazy boy…Keep cool, boy!”. I don’t understand it at all, but it does have a good rhythm. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2021, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4360 "2021-08-28T16:17:17Z")
Thanks. It’s from _West Side Story_. [![](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.bc7b6301304df39aaf77d8bc25ecd465?rik=WXlOd4AlCaJzGw&riu=http%3a%2f%2fen.bcdn.biz%2fImages%2f2016%2f7%2f15%2f30ee2130-a96d-4886-ae7e-0274e6d17df6.jpg&ehk=h83hw4VVMwe3C3IsvdW0Hmoxa5z%2fIEIP23V3w1SegYY%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.bc7b6301304df39aaf77d8bc25ecd465?rik=WXlOd4AlCaJzGw&riu=http%3a%2f%2fen.bcdn.biz%2fImages%2f2016%2f7%2f15%2f30ee2130-a96d-4886-ae7e-0274e6d17df6.jpg&ehk=h83hw4VVMwe3C3IsvdW0Hmoxa5z%2fIEIP23V3w1SegYY%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2021, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4361 "2021-08-28T17:38:43Z")
First recorded proof that women actually _do_ fart ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4362 "2021-08-28T19:20:54Z")
Mabel had never been able to see the right side of her nose before her operation. She was horrified. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2021, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4363 "2021-08-29T12:36:32Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > First recorded proof that women actually _do_ fart The winner! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2021, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4364 "2021-08-29T17:37:58Z")
Guess who? [![](https://wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li/resize/728x/jpg/67f/070/5f663d58cf991e92f5fea78aad.jpg) ](https://wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li/resize/728x/jpg/67f/070/5f663d58cf991e92f5fea78aad.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2021, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4365 "2021-08-29T17:48:03Z")
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