# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 225
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4486 "2021-09-18T03:49:18Z")
“Okay, Ma, I pounded the venison fillets flat like you said, but do I dip it in the milk or eggs before the bread crumbs?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4487 "2021-09-18T07:54:42Z")
“Yes, I’d like a large, with extra cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms, and green peppers …” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4488 "2021-09-18T07:56:04Z")
“Damn! I’m only the sixth caller! I’ll have to get those Led Zeppelin tickets some other way.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4489 "2021-09-18T08:01:08Z")
Phone voice: “Thank you for calling Heroes-R-Us. For service in English, press 1. For service in Kryptonian, press 2 …” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4490 "2021-09-18T12:26:12Z")
M.C. Hammer? No, you have a wrong number. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4491 "2021-09-18T12:28:43Z")
Yeah, Mom, I’ll be sure to call if I can’t be back at Valhalla for supper. Bye. ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4492 "2021-09-18T12:37:32Z")
Why yes, I AM interested in extending my car warranty. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4493 "2021-09-18T13:25:37Z")
“Yes, mine refrigerator is running. What? Nay, not that type of running… Loki! Thou jerk!” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4494 "2021-09-18T13:36:28Z")
Hello, D.C. Comics? This is Thor. I’ve been unhappy with the way Marvel is treating me lately and… ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4495 "2021-09-19T02:35:35Z")
No. Putting a handle on a cell phone does NOT make it easier to use. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4496 "2021-09-19T03:40:21Z")
“Is this Jake from State Farm?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4497 "2021-09-19T03:50:56Z")
“Hello, Ronco? Yes, I’d like to order a Mr. Microphone. This hammer just isn’t cutting it.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4498 "2021-09-19T03:53:29Z")
"No, I do not want aluminum siding. And aren’t I on your ‘do not call’ list? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4499 "2021-09-19T04:53:10Z")
The winner: > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “Yes, mine refrigerator is running. What? Nay, not that type of running… Loki! Thou jerk!” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4500 "2021-09-19T11:06:16Z")
Thanks Elmer. My hat’s off to you. [![](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/be/75/41/be75416d496125584bb3d03394b60304.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/be/75/41/be75416d496125584bb3d03394b60304.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4501 "2021-09-19T11:13:55Z")
The “Red Hat Ladies” attempt to attract younger members went horribly wrong. When the aluminum foil lining in your hat just isn’t enough to keep the CIA’s radio signals from reaching your brain. ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4502 "2021-09-19T12:29:38Z")
Next on ESPN… The World Cup of Ugly Hats ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4503 "2021-09-19T12:42:33Z")
“Collect the whole set of Deadly Viper Assassination Squad hats while supplies last!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4504 "2021-09-19T16:57:50Z")
Queen’s Pawn to King Three! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2021, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4505 "2021-09-19T16:58:41Z")
No, I said “Pepperwinkle”, not “Peckerwimple”! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=224) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=226)