# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 240
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2021, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4787 "2021-10-20T21:19:35Z")
🎶 _“If you knew Sushi, like I knew Sushi…”_ 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2021, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4788 "2021-10-20T21:43:20Z")
I poop wasabi. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2021, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4789 "2021-10-21T01:13:32Z")
**Elmer J. Fudd** was not happy with the result when **Bonum\_Legatum** suggested they combine entries for this round. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2021, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4790 "2021-10-21T01:16:50Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > **Elmer J. Fudd** was not happy with the result when **Bonum\_Legatum** suggested they combine entries for this round. . You’re on a roll. You maki me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2021, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4791 "2021-10-21T10:05:32Z")
Washington’s regulations for vehicles and child safety got mixed up at the printer: Now children must wear five mile per hour bumpers. > [@Spoons](#): > > 🎶 > _“If you knew Sushi, like I knew Sushi…”_ > 🎶 OK - Take it away Spoons. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4792 "2021-10-22T09:51:56Z")
It’s been 24 hours and Spoons hasn’t shown up. (Hope everything is OK!) So lets see what Tibby has for us: > [@Tibby](#): > > I poop wasabi. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4793 "2021-10-22T11:56:55Z")
Let’s see if we can squirrel away some good captions with this one: [![](https://i.insider.com/5c79a8cfeb3ce837863155f5?width=750&format=jpeg&auto=webp) ](https://i.insider.com/5c79a8cfeb3ce837863155f5?width=750&format=jpeg&auto=webp) ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4794 "2021-10-22T12:19:19Z")
Chip, how do you do it? This is, like, the most PERFECT manicure ever! You are the GREATEST! ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4795 "2021-10-22T12:24:13Z")
And THIS Is the signal for you to pitch a curve ball. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4796 "2021-10-22T14:05:24Z")
“And then he said ‘I know you’re a squirrel but damn, baby, watch the teeth!’” Too rude? Then let’s try: “I once found a nut that was _this big_!” ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4797 "2021-10-22T14:23:26Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > “And then he said ‘I know you’re a squirrel but damn, baby, watch the teeth!’” You could eliminate the possible rude interpretation by specifying that he’s talking about their main food source, like this: “And then he said ‘I know you’re a squirrel but damn, baby, watch the teeth on my nuts!’” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4798 "2021-10-22T14:25:14Z")
I’m pretty sure that just makes it worse. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4799 "2021-10-22T14:33:39Z")
“There is no try, only do. Use the force to lower the bird feeder to the ground, young Branchwalker.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4800 "2021-10-22T15:53:18Z")
Nooo! They put the bird feeder on a pole with a guard! I’ll never be able to get to it now, especially from that nearby branch! I’m so thwarted! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4801 "2021-10-22T16:00:01Z")
Abracadabra! Now you’re a chipmunk! What the… You knew the counterspell? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4802 "2021-10-22T16:32:02Z")
“Stay cool, Ralphie! Slowly lower the BB gun…” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4803 "2021-10-22T17:01:48Z")
And I say to you, brothers and sisters, that the Lord God will give to us a plentitude of nuts! All you have to do is each of you give me one acorn, and God will repay you twenty-fold! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2021, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4804 "2021-10-22T21:12:54Z")
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > It’s been 24 hours and Spoons hasn’t shown up. (Hope everything is OK!) Not in play: Yes, everything is fine. I just got distracted by a few things, and couldn’t make it back. Glad to see that **Tibby** could step up and post a picture. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2021, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4805 "2021-10-24T23:53:30Z")
Somebody – **Spoons**? **Tibby**? – needs to judge the contest. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2021, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/4806 "2021-10-25T01:27:08Z")
Is that in play? Because if you add “Whoa!” at the beginning, it’s also an excellent caption. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=239) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=241)