# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 251
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2021, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5007 "2021-11-23T17:39:18Z")
Alton and the Stunt Turkey ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2021, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5008 "2021-11-23T21:12:06Z")
“Yeah Henretta, I know you thought you were safe, but the stores were closed and I have guests coming for dinner tomorrow and…” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5009 "2021-11-24T01:59:44Z")
These entries were a bit darker than I was expecting, so what the hell, I’ll just steer into the skid. @Dr.Winston_OBoogie, congratulations, you twisted, twisted person. > [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](#): > > Maybe if I had made the S&M references MORE obvious, Cutthroat Kitchen would still be on the air. Either that, or I really shouldn’t have demonstrated their REAL uses to the producers. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5010 "2021-11-24T02:44:23Z")
TURKEY: Hey Alton, my eyes are in the sluice bin, not on my breasts. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5011 "2021-11-24T17:27:52Z")
Thank you, thank you. You do realize that he did use quite a bit of S&M gear in the show, right? anyway, let’s keep with Thanksgiving, and see what you deviants can do with this: [![](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/F1CC/production/_120700916_mediaitem120700915.jpg) ](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/F1CC/production/_120700916_mediaitem120700915.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5012 "2021-11-24T19:39:41Z")
Sometimes “choking your turkey” can be literal. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5013 "2021-11-24T19:49:12Z")
“Tell me where you hid the gravy or your friend gets it!” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5014 "2021-11-24T22:51:07Z")
Jim’s turkey disguise managed to fool the rest of the flock. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5015 "2021-11-24T22:53:10Z")
“You can take any of these birds, but not my precious Tessie!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5016 "2021-11-24T22:55:30Z")
Mr. Perdue is highly conversant in talking turkey. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5017 "2021-11-24T23:20:18Z")
“Herb, give me a hand here. We’ve got to get these turkeys loaded into the helicopter for the event. Les, you head over to the Pinedale Shopping Mall, and get ready for your live remote report.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2021, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5018 "2021-11-24T23:48:45Z")
The “Turkey King” just wasn’t flamboyant enough to get a Netflix series. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2021, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5019 "2021-11-25T17:15:52Z")
After the episode with the Bumpus’s hounds, Ralphie’s father took extreme measures to ensure he’d have a bird for Thanksgiving. Sotto Voce: “Act nonchalant, act nonchalant, act nonchalant…” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2021, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5020 "2021-11-26T21:01:07Z")
Gotta give it to furryman for > [@furryman](#): > > “Tell me where you hid the gravy or your friend gets it!” ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2021, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5021 "2021-11-27T19:05:27Z")
[https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/52g3s\_lcuXQSY6XwciQlYg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTY0MDtjZj13ZWJw/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/q1ZIlJiRg0ryMBQ.TujfcQ--~B/aD0xMzMzO3c9MjAwMDthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/daily\_paws\_articles\_948/b5b622283cba2d85dfb39ae20344ebb3](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/52g3s_lcuXQSY6XwciQlYg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTY0MDtjZj13ZWJw/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/q1ZIlJiRg0ryMBQ.TujfcQ--~B/aD0xMzMzO3c9MjAwMDthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/daily_paws_articles_948/b5b622283cba2d85dfb39ae20344ebb3) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2021, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5022 "2021-11-27T19:50:49Z")
Catch MICE? Huh. Talk to my agent. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2021, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5023 "2021-11-28T13:45:02Z")
And our Medicare Advantage plan offers the pet benefit. Agents are standing by to take your call. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2021, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5024 "2021-11-28T20:40:18Z")
You win. My caption. “One cool cat.” ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2021, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5025 "2021-11-28T23:17:32Z")
Imagine there’s no chezburgers Izz hard to do ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2021, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5026 "2021-11-29T03:09:15Z")
“Yeah I pissed on her couch. Bitch didn’t pay attention.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=250) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=252)