# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 258
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2021, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5147 "2021-12-20T22:14:00Z")
[![](https://www.aspectsweb.co.uk/enjay/doom/xmas2000/01.jpg) ](https://www.aspectsweb.co.uk/enjay/doom/xmas2000/01.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2021, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5148 "2021-12-20T23:26:38Z")
🎶 Sniping in a winter wonderland… ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5149 "2021-12-21T01:42:23Z")
Past DOOM mods featured several genres of Christmas slaughter. Scrooge could mow down handicapped urchins with his sword cane in Victorian Era settings, The Grinch could eviscerate Whoville citizens with explosive Christmas balls, and Roman Centurions could scourge and crucify runaway Messiah figures. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5150 "2021-12-21T02:07:17Z")
Video games are one of those toys the elves in Santa’s workshop never quite got a handle on. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5151 "2021-12-21T02:24:27Z")
Christmas. This year it’s personal. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5152 "2021-12-21T02:34:30Z")
Christmas. This year, it’s anti-personnel. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5153 "2021-12-21T02:39:55Z")
Gotta Get 'Em All. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5154 "2021-12-21T03:50:23Z")
(Not in play) @Spoons I tip my hat to you! ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5155 "2021-12-21T20:08:05Z")
All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph, play in any reindeer games. So Rudolph went to his parent’s basement and cranked up the computer. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2021, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5156 "2021-12-22T12:49:19Z")
It started with Elf Bowling, and then went downhill from there. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2021, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5157 "2021-12-22T18:19:48Z")
My own entry would have been “competition at the mall for scarce items was especially fierce this year”. I’m giving it to: > [@Spoons](#): > > Christmas. This year, it’s anti-personnel. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2021, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5158 "2021-12-22T22:39:05Z")
Thanks, **Lumpy**! I must also thank **Kent\_Clark** for providing the inspiration, with his reply just before mine. Okay, let’s see what everybody can do with this one: [![](https://www.liveabout.com/thmb/cJkK6fzlX0l2KoyS3WQF0bhllL4=/1200x800/filters:fill(auto,1)/unhappy-family-58b8b8f33df78c353c0784d9.jpg) ](https://www.liveabout.com/thmb/cJkK6fzlX0l2KoyS3WQF0bhllL4=/1200x800/filters:fill(auto,1)/unhappy-family-58b8b8f33df78c353c0784d9.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2021, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5159 "2021-12-22T23:02:51Z")
“Grandma got run over by a reindeer.” “Lucky bitch!” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2021, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5160 "2021-12-22T23:12:03Z")
“You want jolly? Come back when this bottle is empty.” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5161 "2021-12-23T11:10:37Z")
Bummer, Amazon didn’t deliver the kid’s Christmas socks in time. Look, we’re ALL REALLY TIRED about everyone singing “Billy the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose…” OK, OK, we’ll wear the d\*\*\*\*d hats and antlers and take a picture for Aunt Clara. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5162 "2021-12-23T12:45:54Z")
The stockings were flung at the chimney with care In hopes that St. Nicholas would just get it the eff over with. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5163 "2021-12-23T12:56:39Z")
"Its a funny thing. You’re gonna laugh, but when I said I won the ‘lotto’ this year, I meant I won the ‘motto’. Yeah, it was a motto competition, an’ I came up with the best one. The motto was “The best present is family”, yeah, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5164 "2021-12-23T15:44:24Z")
Christmas with the Lobotomy Family ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5165 "2021-12-23T17:05:24Z")
Happy #&!+ing Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2021, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5166 "2021-12-23T21:37:19Z")
“Police say this photograph, believed to have been taken only seconds before the killings, depicts the suspect having entered the dwelling through an unlocked patio door. Citizens are urged to be on the lookout and report any individual matching this description to authorities”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=257) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=259)