# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 273
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5447 "2022-02-12T19:20:09Z")
“You’ll feel like Lazarus when you get up from this chair!” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5448 "2022-02-12T20:52:10Z")
Carpenters may consider themselves artists, but that doesn’t mean they need to construct self portraits. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5449 "2022-02-13T03:27:53Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Carpenters may consider themselves artists, but that doesn’t mean they need to construct self portraits. Too good, **Elmer** , even though I thought **Prof. Pepperwinkle** ’s was very good too. Take it away! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5450 "2022-02-13T16:32:39Z")
Well, it is THAT day… [![](https://viraluck.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/6616e8bad5541f8f3a1b8b421518e184-378.jpg) ](https://viraluck.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/6616e8bad5541f8f3a1b8b421518e184-378.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5451 "2022-02-13T17:51:20Z")
Now that’s what I call a full back. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5452 "2022-02-13T20:28:02Z")
“Hey, Gronkowski! How do you like _this_ draft pick?” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5453 "2022-02-13T20:43:23Z")
Going for the quarterback’s sack. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5454 "2022-02-14T02:02:51Z")
“Jock strap inspector.” “Not now, Melva!” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5455 "2022-02-14T02:48:55Z")
“So whose ass do I have to kiss to get an endorsement deal?” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5456 "2022-02-14T19:10:37Z")
If this were in Chicago, it would be an **embarrassing** moment. (OK - everybody groan.) NUMBER 87 - THAT’S THE LAST TIME YOU SNEAK IN AN ENDORSEMENT FOR THE LOCAL PLUMBER - BACK TO THE FARM CLUB FOR YOU. (I gotta get a bigger face shield…) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5457 "2022-02-14T20:05:09Z")
So many good ones, I literally had to close my eyes and poke the screen. > [@Spoons](#): > > “Hey, Gronkowski! How do you like _this_ draft pick?” All yours, @Spoons ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5458 "2022-02-14T22:14:40Z")
Thanks, **Elmer**! This one should provide some interesting responses: [![](https://townsquare.media/site/397/files/2020/08/Eating-Up-the-Hits.jpg?w=980&q=75) ](https://townsquare.media/site/397/files/2020/08/Eating-Up-the-Hits.jpg?w=980&q=75) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5459 "2022-02-14T22:16:30Z")
Unclear on the term “licorice pizza”. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5460 "2022-02-14T22:17:25Z")
Another hit by Ohio Express… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2022, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5461 "2022-02-14T22:29:23Z")
The reaction of white people to Jazz in the early days ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2022, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5462 "2022-02-15T02:21:25Z")
Easy, man. It’s just _called_ bubblegum music. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2022, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5463 "2022-02-15T14:32:34Z")
No, LP doesn’t stand for “Looks Palatable.” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2022, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5464 "2022-02-15T15:03:34Z")
What do you mean this isn’t what the Guinness Book of Records means by Eating Records? Kids today don’t know how lucky they have it. When they have to hide a pirated recording, they only have to chew up a thumb drive. In OUR day… ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2022, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5465 "2022-02-15T18:07:34Z")
Breakfast platter ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2022, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5466 "2022-02-15T22:32:37Z")
Okay, this one is just warped enough that it has to take this round: > [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > Kids today don’t know how lucky they have it. When they have to hide a pirated recording, they only have to chew up a thumb drive. In OUR day… Well done, and it’s your turn, @Bonum_Legatum! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=272) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=274)