# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 282
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2022, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5627 "2022-03-25T01:52:16Z")
[![](https://cyber-breeze.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/009-4-gas-powered-rollerskates-499929.jpg) ](https://cyber-breeze.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/009-4-gas-powered-rollerskates-499929.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2022, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5628 "2022-03-25T01:58:06Z")
D B Cooper, an earlier, more modest caper. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2022, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5629 "2022-03-25T15:26:04Z")
“Free squeegee wipe sir?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2022, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5630 "2022-03-25T17:15:37Z")
Robo-Bob got 18 miles to the gallon, if the wind wasn’t against him. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5631 "2022-03-26T15:22:51Z")
“You see, I’m pitching this idea for a new film, to be called Xanadu.” These cutbacks are playing hob with the moon lunar rover program. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5632 "2022-03-26T15:25:48Z")
A brief fad on Madison Avenue was requiring the men in grey flannel to actually use the products they wrote ads for. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5633 "2022-03-26T15:39:41Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > D B Cooper, an earlier, more modest caper. This one stuck with me. take it away @Slithy_Tove ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5634 "2022-03-26T15:50:15Z")
Unfortunately, I’m on iPhone only and don’t have a photo upload site, so I’ll require one of you guys to kindly upload this one. This thread deserves [a Diane Arbus photo](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Arbus#/media/File%3AEddie_Carmel_and_parents%2C_1970.jpg) “Yes _I am_ here to discuss your car’s extended warranty, and _we will._” ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5635 "2022-03-26T16:00:00Z")
The stage play “John in Wonderland” was a total flop. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5636 "2022-03-26T17:59:21Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Unfortunately, I’m on iPhone only and don’t have a photo upload site, so I’ll require one of you guys to kindly upload this one. This thread deserves [a Diane Arbus photo](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Arbus#/media/File%3AEddie_Carmel_and_parents%2C_1970.jpg) [![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2014/04/13/arts/13ARBUS2/13ARBUS2-jumbo.jpg) ](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2014/04/13/arts/13ARBUS2/13ARBUS2-jumbo.jpg) “So. When you built this tiny house, you never once considered you might have a normal sized child?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5637 "2022-03-26T18:36:40Z")
We welcome you to Munchkinland, falalalala falala falala. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2022, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5638 "2022-03-26T22:32:58Z")
Before his award-winning turn in _Death of a Salesman_, Dustin Hoffman co-starred with Andre the Giant in a stage version of _Twins_. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2022, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5639 "2022-03-27T05:13:29Z")
“Mom, just put the ottoman eight feet out, willya?” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2022, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5640 "2022-03-27T11:01:37Z")
“The school guidance counselor says I have a great future cleaning leaves from gutters.” “WHAT, you want me to soap up my head and mop the ceiling AGAIN?” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2022, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5641 "2022-03-27T13:58:42Z")
“It wasn’t a beanstalk. It started off as a redwood tree, then things got crazy from there.” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2022, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5642 "2022-03-27T16:02:15Z")
@bonum_legatum, the torch is passed to you ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2022, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5643 "2022-03-28T14:05:04Z")
Thank you. [![](https://i.imgur.com/D9UMKbH.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/D9UMKbH.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2022, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5644 "2022-03-28T14:22:38Z")
In Soviet Russia, tire drives YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2022, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5645 "2022-03-28T14:29:58Z")
And when you go over steep hills, it bounces! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2022, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5646 "2022-03-28T15:55:25Z")
Hmm. I wonder if I can somehow adapt this to powered roller skates? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=281) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=283)