# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 295
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5887 "2022-05-11T16:29:30Z")
Herbie’s arrangement of _Octopus’s Garden_ requires all eight arms. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5888 "2022-05-11T16:34:56Z")
The remake of “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5889 "2022-05-11T16:49:53Z")
“You know, there’s an app for that.” “What?” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5890 "2022-05-11T17:44:57Z")
🎶 Ebony and Ivory and Sable and Ermine and Coal and Snow and Ink and Milk and … 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5891 "2022-05-11T19:38:19Z")
This is actually an accordion, and that F# you just heard was my testicle retracting into my groin. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5892 "2022-05-11T20:09:50Z")
“Chopsticks are lots of fun, easy for every one, just keep a steady beat, one, two, three and repeat…” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5893 "2022-05-11T21:00:08Z")
Having perfect pitch can be a terrible burden, especially when you are looking for EXACTLY the right key. “Just a FEW more tweaks on these and I’ll be able to play Leroy Anderson’s _The Typewriter_.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2022, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5894 "2022-05-12T03:52:38Z")
“I’ve set this one up to sound like a concert grand piano, and that one to sound like a pipe organ, and that one to sound like a trumpet. But I have the most fun with this one over here, because I’ve set it up to do nothing but make fart sounds.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5895 "2022-05-13T00:40:18Z")
These were a lot of fun, especially since I like The Beatles, Dr. T, Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney, Chopsticks, Leroy Anderson, AND accordions and fart sounds. So I went for the tiebreaker. > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “You know, there’s an app for that.” > “What?” @Knowed_Out you’re up. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5896 "2022-05-13T11:17:43Z")
Thanks, Kent. What’s the current fashion? [![](https://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/68461/original.jpg) ](https://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/68461/original.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5897 "2022-05-13T12:53:27Z")
The “Hi, Ho’ !’” Fashion Line ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5898 "2022-05-13T13:50:08Z")
“Why yes, my parents _are_ Cruella de Vile and Doc Hopper. Why do you ask?” ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5899 "2022-05-13T17:32:48Z")
They said “Try this new perfume” They said “What can do wrong” THEY NEVER SAID IT WAS “Eau d’Fly” The “Kermit” coats were a big seller; but the “Miss Piggy” swimsuits tanked. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5900 "2022-05-13T19:04:21Z")
Tim Gunn was on track to join Fred Rogers, Bob Ross and Steve Irwin in the pantheon of television saints. Then this came down the catwalk and that ended in tragedy and insanity. Who know a simple pair of pinking scissors could inflict such ghastly lacerations? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5901 "2022-05-13T21:52:24Z")
OH, THE AMPHIBITY!!! \*And curse you, Discourse, for not accepting the line because it’s not a full sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2022, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5902 "2022-05-13T21:53:31Z")
Miss Piggy’s time as a fashion designer was short-lived. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2022, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5903 "2022-05-14T11:43:03Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > “Why yes, my parents _are_ Cruella de Vile and Doc Hopper. Why do you ask?” A great leap forward! You’re up Elmer! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2022, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5904 "2022-05-14T13:35:21Z")
Thanks! [![](https://miro.medium.com/max/1400/0*5NDBeaMPW5yW1D8t) ](https://miro.medium.com/max/1400/0*5NDBeaMPW5yW1D8t) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2022, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5905 "2022-05-14T13:51:37Z")
We breast-pumped [Artemis of Ephesus](https://www.livius.org/articles/religion/artemis-of-ephesus/) just for you, young Adephagia. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2022, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5906 "2022-05-14T14:27:16Z")
“Meh. It’s not chocolate.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=294) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=296)