# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 298
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5947 "2022-05-21T18:27:10Z")
Proof that police are given quotas for ticketing Black drivers with windows tinted too darkly. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5948 "2022-05-21T18:50:14Z")
“I swear my car was normal sized before I went through the carwash, officer.” ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2022, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5949 "2022-05-22T04:48:54Z")
Heahs ya tickit fer peddlin them flahs. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2022, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5950 "2022-05-22T11:04:03Z")
Yes, you’re driving a compact, and yes, you parked in the right area, but it was _across_ the lines instead of _inside_ them. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2022, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5951 "2022-05-22T23:49:41Z")
> [@boson](#): > > Heahs ya tickit fer peddlin them flahs. For most creative use of obscure dialect, @boson you’re up! ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5952 "2022-05-23T01:06:42Z")
Thanks, KC. Here goes: [![](https://www.quiltingboard.com/attachments/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/151714d1293926400-attachment-151709.jpe) ](https://www.quiltingboard.com/attachments/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/151714d1293926400-attachment-151709.jpe) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5953 "2022-05-23T01:23:14Z")
“… 98; 99; 100. Ready or not, here I come!” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5954 "2022-05-23T01:43:18Z")
Tolkien’s inspiration for Old Man Willow ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5955 "2022-05-23T01:44:50Z")
“Bob! Stop putting oats in the cleft of the tree!” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5956 "2022-05-23T03:17:03Z")
In eerie foreshadowing, years later there would be a set of boards glued together… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5957 "2022-05-23T16:31:50Z")
Huh. Must be a horse chestnut. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2022, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5958 "2022-05-24T02:27:08Z")
WINNER: [Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)[Charter Member](https://boards.straightdope.com/g/Charter_Member) [May 22](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest/915731/5953) “… 98; 99; 100. Ready or not, here I come!” Love it. Ready or not, here LUMPY comes. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2022, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5959 "2022-05-24T03:14:06Z")
Thanks @boson . Next we have a- a… no comment. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Nt-1TrU3cVU/maxresdefault.jpg) ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Nt-1TrU3cVU/maxresdefault.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2022, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5960 "2022-05-24T03:26:35Z")
My parents asked me what toy I wanted. I said I wanted a top. Sometimes mom and dad are too open-minded. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2022, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5961 "2022-05-24T14:29:19Z")
It puts the Trans in Transformers! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2022, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5962 "2022-05-24T16:04:26Z")
Limited Edition: Rock 'em Sock 'em Hump 'em Robots! ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5963 "2022-05-25T05:10:20Z")
They punch! They jab! They thrust! They quickly succumb! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5964 "2022-05-25T05:13:59Z")
“Billy, do you have an extra button that I don’t?” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5965 "2022-05-25T11:37:33Z")
Mattel was a little confused about the concept of a “sex toy”. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/5966 "2022-05-25T18:21:33Z")
Several great entries but by a hair I’ll give it to: > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Mattel was a little confused about the concept of a “sex toy”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=297) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=299)