# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 311
### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6207 "2022-07-05T17:18:09Z")
Okay, big shout-outs to everyone, the replies were gold. But since there can be only one I spun the spinner and got:
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#):
>
> NEWS ITEM: Oscar Mayer purchases Minutemaid.
Take it away B.L.!
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6208 "2022-07-05T18:35:11Z")
Thank you, I have to confess I put that in as a “throwaway”. For anyone who didn’t get the reference, let’s use this picture:
[ ](https://i.imgur.com/Mu2uE61.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6209 "2022-07-05T18:43:21Z")
The Wienermobile: 25% more fiberglass and 99% less hog anus than a real Oscar Mayer wiener.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6210 "2022-07-05T18:56:06Z")
And you thought the Humvee was for overcompensation.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6211 "2022-07-05T20:03:01Z")
All the little ladies love an eight-foot wiener!
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6212 "2022-07-05T20:57:12Z")
The [Peyronie’s Diseas](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/peyronies-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20353468#:~:text=Overview,necessarily%20a%20cause%20for%20concern.)e Awareness float was surprisingly popular at parades.
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2022, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6213 "2022-07-05T23:48:36Z")
Sure cure for Middle-Aged Crises AND Erectile Disfunction.
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6214 "2022-07-06T04:49:27Z")
Glad that it never got into an accident with French’s Mustardmobile.
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6215 "2022-07-06T17:50:28Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#):
>
> And you thought the Humvee was for overcompensation.
Yes I did. Take it away.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6216 "2022-07-06T17:57:49Z")
[ ](https://i.imgur.com/t2kIcF3.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6217 "2022-07-06T18:11:03Z")
I’m telling ya babe, the fish was THIS big!
Honey, don’t buy those off-brand sunscreens anymore. They don’t work.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6218 "2022-07-06T19:29:02Z")
Critics complained that the first film adaptation of _The Shadow Over Innsmouth_ was very unfaithful to the book.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6219 "2022-07-06T19:58:22Z")
When del Toro remakes us, it’ll win an Oscar!.
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6220 "2022-07-06T20:28:16Z")
“I said I wanted _organic_ pop tarts. Didn’t you see them in the produce section?”
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2022, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6221 "2022-07-06T20:45:13Z")
“In former Soviet Union, lobster picks YOU out of tank.”
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### Author:  [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2022, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6222 "2022-07-07T01:32:26Z")
For the last time: outta my sun, fishboy!
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2022, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6223 "2022-07-07T18:03:28Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#):
>
> “In former Soviet Union, lobster picks YOU out of tank.”
Close but clear winner. An internet devoid of Yakov Smirnovs is no internet for me.
My submission: “Yes, those are very impressive claws, but I prefer to scratch my own ass, thank you.”
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2022, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6224 "2022-07-07T21:00:31Z")
July 8 is Math 2.0 Day. Let’s solve for X
[ ](https://www.learningsuccessblog.com/files/childfrustratedbymathattheblackboard.jpg.653x0_q80_crop-smart.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2022, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6225 "2022-07-07T21:02:44Z")
Johnnie got confused when his teacher failed subtraction.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2022, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6226 "2022-07-07T21:12:44Z")
Simply invert the abtrahend with the multinomial, excrete the pomander, and boogie.
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