# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 314
### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2022, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6267 "2022-07-16T13:18:14Z")
Don’t worry, they’re retractable.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2022, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6268 "2022-07-16T13:35:37Z")
Out commode seat specially designed for hemorrhoid sufferers. No, they won’t cure them, but guaranteed to take your mind off them.
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2022, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6269 "2022-07-16T14:30:32Z")
“Maybe THIS will stop the endless nagging about putting the seat down.”
Scene deleted from “Un Chien Andalou”. There were some places even the surrealists wouldn’t go.
Pun intended.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6270 "2022-07-16T15:16:33Z")
And you thought the gold bathtub was tacky…
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### Author:  [@LegendHasit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegendHasit)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2022, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6271 "2022-07-17T00:09:40Z")
Dr: “Does it hurt when you oop?”
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### Author:  [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2022, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6272 "2022-07-17T01:55:08Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#):
>
> Don’t use the restrooms at the ashram
I think Elmer J. Fudd, esq. has the right idea.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2022, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6273 "2022-07-17T15:10:51Z")
[ ](http://usa.chinadaily.com.cn/world/attachement/jpg/site1/20140624/7427ea21079d1512f6bd03.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2022, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6274 "2022-07-17T15:26:29Z")
Old-timers will remember the days before DNA testing, when avoiding paternity was literally a hurdle for young men. Things are undoubtedly more fair today, but it was handy being able to see the bastards coming by their smashed noses.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2022, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6275 "2022-07-17T18:22:49Z")
The Marine Corps’ new obstacle course has its critics.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6276 "2022-07-18T01:13:05Z")
Most trust-building workshops ask you to walk over hot coals.
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6277 "2022-07-18T13:12:30Z")
Running of the bulls for the new millennium man.
We have a new catchphrase to replace “jumped the shark”.
The Superbowl Pampers commercial was only aired once - then taken down due to the outraged response.
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6278 "2022-07-18T15:19:54Z")
This is apparently a part of the country where Child Protective Services doesn’t have an office.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6279 "2022-07-18T16:49:11Z")
The Daddy Adidas Dashoff
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6280 "2022-07-18T19:39:50Z")
The winner…
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#):
>
> Running of the bulls for the new millennium man.
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6281 "2022-07-18T19:46:31Z")
Thank you. Try this:
[ ](https://i.imgur.com/CBep7EM.jpeg)
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6282 "2022-07-18T19:53:08Z")
So that’s where all the crud went when the street sweepers were on strike…
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### Author:  [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6283 "2022-07-18T22:01:16Z")
Exposure of private parts had reached new levels in the Maple Grove neighborhood.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6284 "2022-07-18T22:26:01Z")
I didn’t see who drove by so fast, but I’m pretty sure he was drawn by Tex Avery.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2022, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6285 "2022-07-18T22:42:20Z")
“Oh yeah, well YOU try putting Kitty on a diet and not letting her chase squirrels up favorite tree!”
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2022, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6286 "2022-07-19T01:07:07Z")
“Scott’s Turf Builder. For a lawn so thick, it might as well be carpeting.”
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