# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 318
### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2022, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6347 "2022-07-31T18:34:51Z")
We even have the machine that goes “Beep!”
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2022, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6348 "2022-07-31T18:43:14Z")
We are working to repair the ship’s laundry. In the meantime, the bosun’s pipe will signal when the giant Tide pod is fully dissolved. Then all you guys in white jump in and splash around.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2022, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6349 "2022-07-31T19:40:30Z")
“Finally! One of these darn things _didn’t_ end up on Gilligan’s Island.”
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6350 "2022-08-01T01:11:02Z")
“OK everybody, act like you don’t notice them when they come out.”
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6351 "2022-08-01T01:13:33Z")
“Let’s get this thing back to the studio…and try not to steer us over the edge of the Earth while we’re at it!”
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6352 "2022-08-01T01:58:01Z")
“Make sure ALL the urine has drained out of the capsule before putting it on our deck. That looks disgusting!”
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6353 "2022-08-01T13:02:53Z")
“Oh, I am the captain of the Pinafore…”
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6354 "2022-08-01T14:19:50Z")
“Dunk it in a few more times, we still haven’t gotten all the Army green off.”
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#):
>
> We are working to repair the ship’s laundry. In the meantime, the bosun’s pipe will signal when the giant Tide pod is fully dissolved. Then all you guys in white jump in and splash around.
Slithy Tove takes it for thinking outside of the (detergent) box.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6355 "2022-08-01T16:24:19Z")
[ ](https://media-newyorker-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/media.newyorker.com/photos/604abac7620879d155f5be35/master/w_900,c_limit/Brody-TCMReframed.jpg)
You’ve seen this image, but what is the actual caption?
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6356 "2022-08-01T17:19:31Z")
“Girl, if you want to stay a size four, stop havin’ me cook pancakes for breakfast”.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6357 "2022-08-01T17:33:41Z")
Why, Miss Leigh, why would a woke woman like yourself want to be in such a racist, sexist production such as this?
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6358 "2022-08-01T18:23:54Z")
Miss Scarlet, Miss Scarlet, the slaves are revoltin’!
Now Cassie, they may be a little tacky, but they’re not that bad.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6359 "2022-08-01T18:44:42Z")
> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> “Girl, if you want to stay a size four, stop havin’ me cook pancakes for breakfast”.
Bravo! I’m not even going to try to top that.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2022, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6360 "2022-08-01T18:54:51Z")
Don’t be intimidated @Elmer_J.Fudd. At least go for the easy fart joke 😄
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### Author:  [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)
#### Post date: [August 2, 2022, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6361 "2022-08-02T05:24:05Z")
(ok, I’ll do it.) Now you know damn well, Miss Scarlet, that awful smell didn’t come from me.
or
Yes, Ma’am, Miss Scarlet. But you remember that the twelfth loop has always made you pass gas all night long.
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [August 2, 2022, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6362 "2022-08-02T14:55:49Z")
(Not in play, but…)
"Miz Scarlet, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select, I don’t know, that… lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis. It’s actually cerulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent, wasn’t it, who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores, and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs, and it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room, from a pile of “stuff”.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [August 2, 2022, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6363 "2022-08-02T14:58:14Z")
Human bondage means different things to different people.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 2, 2022, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6364 "2022-08-02T16:22:47Z")
All good responses but @Elmer_J.Fudd has the most sting (with extra credit for the GWTW/Leslie Howard/Of Human Bondage nexus)
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [August 2, 2022, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6365 "2022-08-02T16:38:58Z")
[ ](https://boingboing.net/images/_Blanchard.Kinkade_72_dpi_.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [August 2, 2022, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6366 "2022-08-02T17:12:00Z")
Attack of the Pulp Covers
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