# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 320
### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2022, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6387 "2022-08-04T19:08:53Z")
We’re Four of the Three Musketeers!
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2022, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6388 "2022-08-04T20:43:45Z")
Sadly, no one warned the chevalier not to try and go up the staircase at Royal Palace Quitting Time. And he was trampled as everyone else left to go home.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2022, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6389 "2022-08-04T20:47:35Z")
“Everyone just keep still for another minute. I’m sure my contact lens is right here.”
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2022, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6390 "2022-08-04T21:35:03Z")
Sir Joseph:
I am the monarch of the sea,
The ruler of the Queen’s Navee,
Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants.
Relatives:
And we are his sisters and his cousins and his aunts
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6391 "2022-08-05T11:00:37Z")
“I have gathered all my trusted advisors, greatest military minds, most influential scholars and the most loyal of my followers to hear your urgent news, Grand Condé. What is your urgent message?”
“Er… you have a run in your stocking, my liege.”
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6392 "2022-08-05T18:46:10Z")
These were all better than anything I could have submitted, but @Kent_Clark is the winner. Thank you.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6393 "2022-08-05T20:37:49Z")
No, thank YOU! and let the game continue.
[:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/GettyImages-143384438-5a0b609722fa3a0036d3a726.jpg) ](https://www.thoughtco.com/thmb/zX16uODj3mGqBCzyqCkFZKLV3c4=/650x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/GettyImages-143384438-5a0b609722fa3a0036d3a726.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6394 "2022-08-05T20:38:55Z")
Leave the gun; take the calamari!
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6395 "2022-08-05T20:54:59Z")
The lengths you have to go to be sure you’re getting real calamari and not sliced pig rectum.
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6396 "2022-08-05T21:07:26Z")
The day that Squiddy mistook a whale for Captain Nemo’s _Nautilus_.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6397 "2022-08-05T22:49:03Z")
Giant Squid: “Three thousand feet down. It’s dark, it’s cold. The pressure’s crushing, and not much oxygen. But hey, at least this deep there’s NO chance some goddamn wha_ **OH FUUCKK!** _”
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2022, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6398 "2022-08-05T23:37:14Z")
Yuck! What have you been eating? Prophets and toy makers?
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2022, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6399 "2022-08-06T01:38:35Z")
“If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
“No, we’re perfect for each other. I’ve got all the arms for holding, you’ve got all the tail for spanking.”
“God, when you talk that way. Slip me some beak!”
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2022, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6400 "2022-08-06T11:10:01Z")
Brain the size of a peanut versus brain in each tentacle. Look who’s winning!
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2022, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6401 "2022-08-06T15:26:46Z")
I’ve never seen tartar buildup this bad. You’ve got to floss EVERY DAY and start coming in for cleaning more frequently.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2022, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6402 "2022-08-06T21:19:56Z")
All of these were excellent, but @Lumpy takes it for empathizing with the squid.
> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> Giant Squid: “Three thousand feet down. It’s dark, it’s cold. The pressure’s crushing, and not much oxygen. But hey, at least this deep there’s NO chance some goddamn wha_ **OH FUUCKK!** _”
Take it away, Lumpy.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2022, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6403 "2022-08-07T02:01:50Z")
[ ](https://justsomething.co/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/hilarious-animal-photobombs-32.jpg)
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### Author:  [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2022, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6404 "2022-08-07T02:40:12Z")
Hold it closer to your head, Beth.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2022, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6405 "2022-08-07T02:53:20Z")
In one fell swoop, Mojimba snarfs up both bananas _and_ the candy necklace.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [August 7, 2022, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6406 "2022-08-07T03:31:07Z")
I don’t need to fling poo: you’re already on a full diet of it. This place is gorilla paradise. Great food, full medical for me, my harem, my kids. While you can barely afford that extra bedroom apartment to be allowed visitation with these two every other weekend. So you tell me who’s on the wrong side of the unbreakable glass here.
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