# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 331
### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2022, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6607 "2022-09-16T12:10:38Z")
/Hank Hill – The finest in Propane and Propane Accessories
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2022, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6608 "2022-09-17T03:16:20Z")
Alll good, but I think this one has to take it:
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#):
>
> It goes from 0 to 400 degrees in 1.9 seconds.
Well done, **Prof**! And it’s your turn.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2022, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6609 "2022-09-17T13:17:56Z")
Yay!
[ ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.0AMEVnidxA8w4jhK9oQhlwHaD4?pid=ImgDet&rs=1)
(yes, the tree is made of books.)
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2022, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6610 "2022-09-17T13:22:29Z")
The city librarian finally figured out what to do with those old encyclopedias, “Readers Digest Condensed Books”, copies of “All Creatures Great and small”…, that keep getting dropped in the donations bin.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2022, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6611 "2022-09-17T13:31:09Z")
For a brief moment, the wood pulp got to relive what it was like to be part of a tree.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6612 "2022-09-18T12:33:06Z")
Well, two wonderful choices.
As a former librarian, I empathize with Bonum’s submission, but…
Lumpy wins with
> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> For a brief moment, the wood pulp got to relive what it was like to be part of a tree.
Good one, Lumpy!
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6613 "2022-09-18T14:33:28Z")
[ ](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6Q4CUjq6fLo/XubSKGMaSOI/AAAAAAAAQ10/BAxHP76h-e0UuZH1h9F72p0mmEBxqhEFgCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/STRNGTLSFM2008.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6614 "2022-09-18T14:36:24Z")
Feed your Michelin Man at least _twice_ a day.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6615 "2022-09-18T15:19:24Z")
You look a lot taller in the picture.
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6616 "2022-09-18T16:08:26Z")
“Hey mac, where’s the little mutant’s room?”
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6617 "2022-09-18T20:03:16Z")
Harry closed the bookstore after the bookworm infestation got especially severe.
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2022, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6618 "2022-09-18T21:53:48Z")
“I swear! I wasn’t looking up your CR in the Monster Manual! Don’t tell the DM!”
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2022, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6619 "2022-09-19T13:16:50Z")
Terry Pratchett’s original draft had a much creepier Librarian. One that was not happy with the just the occasional banana.
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### Author:  [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2022, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6620 "2022-09-19T16:21:25Z")
The Miskatonic University Library has **dire** penalties for being loud in the reading room.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2022, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6621 "2022-09-21T20:26:55Z")
@Lumpy looks up from the book he has been obsessed with for the last three days to discover the fate of those who forget about this thread.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2022, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6622 "2022-09-21T20:45:24Z")
Sorry, that’s almost literally true! First prize goes to:
> [@JoseB](#):
>
> The Miskatonic University Library has **dire** penalties for being loud in the reading room.
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### Author:  [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)
#### Post date: [September 22, 2022, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6623 "2022-09-22T21:05:14Z")
[ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FY4gXRWWIAAOI3n?format=jpg&name=medium)
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [September 22, 2022, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6624 "2022-09-22T21:20:16Z")
All right, men! There’s a cat stuck in that tree! Don’t be afraid to use lethal force!!
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### Author:  [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2022, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6625 "2022-09-23T00:45:59Z")
“ATTICA! ATTICA!”
(Yes Discordbot, it’s meant to be a non-sentence, you condescending a-hole.)
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2022, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6626 "2022-09-23T00:49:09Z")
“C’mon, you dogfaces! You wanna live forever?”
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