# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 349
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2022, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6967 "2022-11-26T23:37:16Z")
“A sign! A sign from the Messiah…That we must follow the utility cart so that we might gather together gourds in abundance!” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2022, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6968 "2022-11-27T19:37:28Z")
**“Freedom!!”** ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2022, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6969 "2022-11-27T20:11:59Z")
Kimberly Guilfoyle exhorts the doorbusters at Wal\*Mart on Black Friday. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2022, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6970 "2022-11-27T21:58:31Z")
Well, @Knowed_Out is going to take it for this one: > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “Imma PARALYZE you if you break ahead of me in line! I brought the wheelchair for it!” Looks like it’s your turn, **Knowed\_Out**! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2022, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6971 "2022-11-28T02:21:22Z")
HEH HEH! > **[weird-christmas-specials-pee-wee1.jpg](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FvplXauFxl1h-PyKyJy00u6w_uIkw1vq/view?usp=sharing)** > > Google Drive file. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2022, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6972 "2022-11-28T02:36:50Z")
“I _meant_ to do that!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2022, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6973 "2022-11-28T14:53:51Z")
[Pee-wee](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000607/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): You’re the greatest Santa there ever was! [Santa Claus](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0281934/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): I know you are, but what am I? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2022, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6974 "2022-11-28T15:00:44Z")
“I want a new bike, a new ball, a new TV show, and for all those people who said nasty things about me to burn in hell.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2022, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6975 "2022-11-28T17:09:04Z")
And when it was all over the most pitiable sight the residents of the Playhouse would ever see was that of Chairy trying to gouge her eyes out with her blunt, cushioned arms. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6976 "2022-11-29T03:00:50Z")
The bells are ringing because Elmer said the secret word! And the system removed the quote, so now we’ll never know the secret word! But Elmer wins anyway! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6977 "2022-11-29T03:28:42Z")
Thanks! [![](https://i0.wp.com/www.comicsbeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/tumblr_m97r7x7u2T1qzoglfo1_1280.jpg?fit=600%2C399&ssl=1) ](https://i0.wp.com/www.comicsbeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/tumblr_m97r7x7u2T1qzoglfo1_1280.jpg?fit=600%2C399&ssl=1) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6978 "2022-11-29T04:21:40Z")
Braggart! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6979 "2022-11-29T04:34:32Z")
“Hey, if Burt Reynolds can do it, then so can I. Right?” “Umm … maybe you should rethink that.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6980 "2022-11-29T04:51:51Z")
You’re going to paint me, Jack. You’re gonna paint me, and then… ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6981 "2022-11-29T06:58:17Z")
“Well, if getting angry like the Hulk doesn’t turn me from a 98-pound weakling into a he-man, then maybe the Charles Atlas ad will!” ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6982 "2022-11-29T12:53:12Z")
The Incredible Middle-aged Couch Potato! ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6983 "2022-11-29T21:43:27Z")
Stan Lee decided that, if the comic business didn’t pan out, he could always try to get into the centerfold pages… ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6984 "2022-11-30T00:05:52Z")
“Digest size would have been perfectly servicable, Stan” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6985 "2022-11-30T01:05:24Z")
“Where do you think I got the idea for naming him Incredible Hulk? Excelsior!” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/6986 "2022-11-30T12:54:29Z")
All great captions, but this was a brilliant _Titanic_/ Jack (Kirby) and Stan mashup: > [@knoodler](#): > > You’re going to paint me, Jack. You’re gonna paint me, and then… You’re up, @knoodler [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=348) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=350)