# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 351
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2022, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7007 "2022-12-05T16:43:12Z")
What flavor is the mystery nog? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7008 "2022-12-06T02:05:55Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Traditional urinalysis was a little complicated… Elmer took the piss out of that one, so he wins. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7009 "2022-12-06T06:13:26Z")
[https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/christmas-evil-santa-lineup.jpg?fit=1600%2C900](https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/christmas-evil-santa-lineup.jpg?fit=1600%2C900) ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7010 "2022-12-06T08:11:41Z")
“So, who is Santa and who are the elves?” “We may never find out, sergeant; they all look the same…” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7011 "2022-12-06T13:05:01Z")
“Number 1, stand next to the offstage chimney and put your thumb on your nose.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7012 "2022-12-06T15:24:54Z")
“Number four, quit farting!” ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7013 "2022-12-06T15:25:26Z")
It’s sort of a mash-up of _Bad Santa_ and _The Usual Suspects_. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7014 "2022-12-06T17:18:22Z")
“Did he have any distinguishing marks?” “I remember his belly shook like a bowl full of jelly.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2022, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7015 "2022-12-07T20:28:16Z")
The Winner: > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > “Did he have any distinguishing marks?” > “I remember his belly shook like a bowl full of jelly.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2022, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7016 "2022-12-07T21:30:41Z")
'Tis the season. [![](https://guide.artswave.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/guide.artswave.org/images/2015/09/primary-Frisch-s-Presents-The-Nutcracker-1441125993-360x450.jpeg) ](https://guide.artswave.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/guide.artswave.org/images/2015/09/primary-Frisch-s-Presents-The-Nutcracker-1441125993-360x450.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7017 "2022-12-08T00:23:43Z")
Begone Foul Rat King! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7018 "2022-12-08T01:50:51Z")
They decided not to use the hobby horse this time, due to the performance becoming a literal Nutcracker Suite. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7019 "2022-12-08T03:55:49Z")
Some idiot pulled his finger… ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7020 "2022-12-08T04:22:17Z")
_The Nutcracker Suite_, as directed by the Wachowskis. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7021 "2022-12-09T02:19:18Z")
Nothing like a Christmas ballet themed joke about getting hit in the groin. You’re up @Knowed_Out > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > They decided not to use the hobby horse this time, due to the performance becoming a literal Nutcracker Suite. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7022 "2022-12-09T02:34:56Z")
Can we keep this up for 17 more days? [![](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/171302136/photo/santa-dancing-with-his-friend.jpg?s=1024x1024&w=is&k=20&c=4NnV-QJgvZXMaXyMXFEfxo19h8_GmQet0e07vskv9JE=) ](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/171302136/photo/santa-dancing-with-his-friend.jpg?s=1024x1024&w=is&k=20&c=4NnV-QJgvZXMaXyMXFEfxo19h8_GmQet0e07vskv9JE=) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7023 "2022-12-09T03:30:26Z")
Global warming at the North Pole ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7024 "2022-12-09T04:17:28Z")
“But I keep telling you, I’m a pronghorn, not a reindeer!” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7025 "2022-12-09T04:23:02Z")
Dancer was the only reindeer that Santa ever invited to the beach. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7026 "2022-12-09T04:29:19Z")
From deer to eternity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=350) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=352)