# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 360
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7187 "2023-01-05T14:44:26Z")
“Well, that’s one shark that won’t be eating any more penguins!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7188 "2023-01-05T16:30:12Z")
I really liked > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Eat your heart out Jesus! but the winner is > [@knoodler](#): > > Well now everybody’s heard about the bird. 'cause I haven’t thought of that song in quite a while. Head 'em up, **knoodler**! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7189 "2023-01-05T22:44:52Z")
Thanks Prof.! [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlmCIb_acAA-NIX?format=png&name=small) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlmCIb_acAA-NIX?format=png&name=small) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2023, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7190 "2023-01-05T22:50:20Z")
“The Geneva Convention says you can’t be arrested as a spy unless you’re in an enemy uniform or civilian clothes, so we’ve got them now!” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7191 "2023-01-06T01:32:26Z")
That’s what you get for farting during lights out. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7192 "2023-01-06T01:34:44Z")
They’ve finally figured out how to fit a lot more soldiers into a Humvee. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7193 "2023-01-06T13:02:25Z")
Finally one of the clowns at the Pentagon has come down to see what it’s like at the front lines. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7194 "2023-01-06T13:25:34Z")
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7195 "2023-01-06T16:03:30Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > They’ve finally figured out how to fit a lot more soldiers into a Humvee. This one hit my funny bone. You’re up, EJF! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7196 "2023-01-06T21:19:06Z")
Postscript: ideas not worth officially submitting: - Killer Clowns - Insane Clown Posse - Send In The Clowns - The Army’s new experimental “dazzle” camouflage - “Okay men: someone has to draw their fire. Who’s up?” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7197 "2023-01-06T22:17:23Z")
Thanks, @knoodler! [![](https://www.ycam.jp/asset/image/_resize/large/archive/works_papa-youre-crazy_2__MG_0315.jpg) ](https://www.ycam.jp/asset/image/_resize/large/archive/works_papa-youre-crazy_2__MG_0315.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2023, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7198 "2023-01-06T23:59:12Z")
The Chinese impressionist stage production of “Svengali” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2023, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7199 "2023-01-07T00:32:31Z")
“Do I have your attention? Good. You know what it takes to sell real estate? A set of BRASS BALLS, that’s what it takes. And you’re lacking.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7200 "2023-01-08T15:19:55Z")
> [@knoodler](#): > > “Do I have your attention? Good. You know what it takes to sell real estate? A set of BRASS BALLS, that’s what it takes. And you’re lacking A- Always B- Be C- … Calligraphy-ing? You’re up, @knoodler ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7201 "2023-01-08T16:09:36Z")
Thanks @Elmer_J.Fudd! [![](https://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/2165492/83789748.jpg) ](https://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/2165492/83789748.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7202 "2023-01-08T16:47:38Z")
“You’re going to have to move your snow bicycle sculpture. It’s within 10 feet of the highway.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7203 "2023-01-08T17:10:16Z")
Freeze! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7204 "2023-01-08T18:50:35Z")
Frosty’s less-famous brother Lance the Snowman never even got the distinction of wearing the yellow shirt for a day. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7205 "2023-01-08T19:01:56Z")
As global warming melted the glaciers, remnants of many hitherto unknown species emerged from the ice, such as this so far lone representative of an extinct line of prehistoric bicycle riding snow people. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2023, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7206 "2023-01-08T19:29:27Z")
The evil Ice Queen had one too many encounters with bicyclists who didn’t use their hand signals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=359) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=361)