# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 363
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2023, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7247 "2023-01-15T22:38:26Z")
“Jaws” “Goodbye Girl” “Jaws!” “Goodbye Girl!” “WHAT ABOUT BOB?” “EN GARDE!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7248 "2023-01-16T03:47:08Z")
Shows you what happens when prayer is taken out of family gatherings. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7249 "2023-01-16T04:41:52Z")
Before Prohibition After Prohibition ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7250 "2023-01-16T04:48:27Z")
“So who here is going to try this newfangled sea salt cure to treat our goiters instead of our time-tested leeches and arsenic?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7251 "2023-01-16T04:51:12Z")
“I’ve gathered all of you here to let you know that I have rewritten my will. None of you will get anything, because I’m leaving everything to the Moonies.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7252 "2023-01-16T19:10:04Z")
_(whisper) We’ve secretly replaced the butter with New I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Offal Brand Spread. Let’s see if anyone notices…_ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7253 "2023-01-16T20:14:02Z")
Make America Great Again ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2023, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7254 "2023-01-16T22:50:55Z")
BTW: the original captions, for those who didn’t try to translate it, are “We shall not speak of the Dreyfus Affair” and “they spoke of it”. Seriously, I recommend historian Barbara Tuchman’s look at it in her book _The Proud Tower_. It seem eerily prescient of our divisions today. Second place to @Spoons, although it would have been funnier if he’d said “I’m leaving everything to my last surviving heir”. And the winna’: > [@needscoffee](#): > > Every Thanksgiving, the same argument: does stuffing go inside the bird or outside? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7255 "2023-01-17T06:36:35Z")
Thanks! How about: [![](https://i.imgur.com/GhClLIK.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/GhClLIK.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7256 "2023-01-17T11:41:08Z")
The poster photo for _The Usual Suspects_ had to go through a LOT of airbrush work before the boys upstairs were happy with it. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7257 "2023-01-17T12:43:20Z")
Parke and Ronen ads, before abs were discovered ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7258 "2023-01-17T14:20:29Z")
The Full Colonel Monty ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7259 "2023-01-17T15:43:16Z")
🎶 One of these things is not like the other One of these things doesn’t belong 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7260 "2023-01-17T17:19:46Z")
Somehow, Bob (second from left) always won the Women’s Club Annual Mustachio Pageant. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7261 "2023-01-17T17:24:36Z")
While the audience loved their “Sweet Adeline,” the barbershop group’s rendition of “Surfin’ USA” failed to impress anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7262 "2023-01-17T17:28:09Z")
Page 319 of the 1928 Sears Roebuck catalog needed a better background. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2023, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7263 "2023-01-17T18:00:02Z")
The Month of July from _The Annual Fireman’s Calendar of 1898_ ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2023, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7264 "2023-01-18T02:38:14Z")
This is what happens to steampunk when there’s too much steam and not enough punk. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2023, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7265 "2023-01-18T06:54:59Z")
First runner-up: > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Somehow, Bob (second from left) always won the Women’s Club Annual Mustachio Pageant. And the winner is… > [@knoodler](#): > > The Month of July from _The Annual Fireman’s Calendar of 1898_ All yours, @knoodler! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2023, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/7266 "2023-01-18T16:42:26Z")
Thanks! [![](https://justsomething.co/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/20-dog-fails-that-will-totally-make-your-day-18.jpg) ](https://justsomething.co/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/20-dog-fails-that-will-totally-make-your-day-18.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=362) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=364)