# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 408
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8147 "2023-07-17T05:49:20Z")
The service around here is a little slow, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8148 "2023-07-17T05:51:52Z")
Have you ever had guests who _never_ leave? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8149 "2023-07-17T13:24:19Z")
Why you should always put on sunscreen. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8150 "2023-07-17T13:36:54Z")
You can never be too thin or too rich. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8151 "2023-07-17T13:49:30Z")
I tell ya, no one pours a drier martini. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8152 "2023-07-17T14:35:58Z")
Got mop? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2023, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8153 "2023-07-17T16:47:48Z")
I hear the hole in the ozone layer is closing up. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2023, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8154 "2023-07-18T04:48:37Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > You can never be too thin or too rich. Several good one’s but I got to go with the professor on this… You’re up next Prof. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2023, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8155 "2023-07-18T12:58:02Z")
Thanks! Next… [![](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.027a8b69cf1a50b5063eb13f46845bce?rik=Z0NZ60ioz5dv5g&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.027a8b69cf1a50b5063eb13f46845bce?rik=Z0NZ60ioz5dv5g&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2023, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8156 "2023-07-18T14:08:57Z")
Kitty is watching you masturbate. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2023, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8157 "2023-07-18T14:17:17Z")
Please, folks. Remember to close the door to your meth lab if you have pets. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2023, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8158 "2023-07-18T20:36:33Z")
I’m going to the Vet’s for WHAT?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8159 "2023-07-19T04:55:41Z")
“Mr. DeMille? I’m ready for my close-up.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8160 "2023-07-19T04:59:30Z")
“Okay, who swapped out the cat’s water for Red Bull?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8161 "2023-07-19T13:40:40Z")
They are all funny as usual. My pick, though, is: > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Kitty is watching you masturbate. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8162 "2023-07-19T18:03:56Z")
Thanks Prof. Here’s more animals. [![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/e1067f_b3e2a7b80e394c088aad698b18cf55e7~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_640,h_436,al_c,lg_1,q_80,enc_auto/e1067f_b3e2a7b80e394c088aad698b18cf55e7~mv2.jpg) ](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/e1067f_b3e2a7b80e394c088aad698b18cf55e7~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_640,h_436,al_c,lg_1,q_80,enc_auto/e1067f_b3e2a7b80e394c088aad698b18cf55e7~mv2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8163 "2023-07-19T18:27:44Z")
Although Gargantua famously recommended using the necks of geese, it turns out that pelicans are just as good. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8164 "2023-07-19T21:09:39Z")
These pelicans stick their necks out for no one. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2023, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8165 "2023-07-19T21:22:28Z")
Hogwarts may have owls, but here at Scotland’s Awfulfoal we use the wizard’s preferred bird! ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8166 "2023-07-20T00:38:19Z")
Meet The Team who puts the babies with the storks! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=407) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=409)