# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 409
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8167 "2023-07-20T01:01:53Z")
We was so poor, the ‘ole village ‘ad to use pelicans fer bagpipes. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8168 "2023-07-20T10:50:29Z")
Elmer wins this one. Lumpy, you’re going to have to explain yours to me. Is it from _Gargantua and Pantagruel_? > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > We was so poor, the ‘ole village ‘ad to use pelicans fer bagpipes. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8169 "2023-07-20T13:06:26Z")
Thanks! [![](https://historydaily.org/content/53704/890cc775aedefaab4bbc0563cb00f357.jpg) ](https://historydaily.org/content/53704/890cc775aedefaab4bbc0563cb00f357.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8170 "2023-07-20T13:39:48Z")
I got 'im! Set the table, Ma, we got dinner! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8171 "2023-07-20T15:38:06Z")
Welcome to Neverwhere! ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8172 "2023-07-20T16:33:21Z")
Shortly after Al Capone hired Cletus The Appalachian to go kill a “neighborhood rat”, it became apparent he did not quite _capiche_. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8173 "2023-07-20T17:28:09Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Lumpy, you’re going to have to explain yours to me. Is it from _Gargantua and Pantagruel_? Yes, and it’s a reference to the notorious passage in the novel when Gargantua opines that the best thing in the entire world one can wipe one’s bottom with is the necks of geese. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2023, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8174 "2023-07-20T21:51:22Z")
The citizens of Hamlin, after their unfortunate experience with the Pied Piper, elected to take matters into their own hands. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2023, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8175 "2023-07-23T13:06:32Z")
The winner, > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > The citizens of Hamlin, after their unfortunate experience with the Pied Piper, elected to take matters into their own hands. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2023, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8176 "2023-07-23T20:25:30Z")
Put on your thinking caps! [![](https://gloomth.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/headless-woman-iowa-state-fair.jpg) ](https://gloomth.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/headless-woman-iowa-state-fair.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2023, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8177 "2023-07-23T20:54:06Z")
Olga could get ready for a date in a fraction of the time it took her before the operation. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2023, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8178 "2023-07-23T23:08:27Z")
The first time Penn and Teller asked for a volunteer from the audience, things went horribly wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2023, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8179 "2023-07-23T23:40:35Z")
Once we pump 18000 volts through her, her head will pop right back up. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2023, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8180 "2023-07-24T00:12:38Z")
MAGA researchers introduce the “perfect wife,” claim it will “turn the gays straight.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2023, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8181 "2023-07-24T00:43:41Z")
“That’s not where her missing head is.” ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2023, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8182 "2023-07-24T02:59:48Z")
_To the guy on her left:_ Hey, my eyes are in the other room.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2023, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8183 "2023-07-24T15:54:14Z")
Margaret’s mother always said she’d lose her head if it wasn’t screwed on tight. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2023, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8184 "2023-07-24T19:01:27Z")
Few people knew of the diabolical collaboration between Rachel Maddow and John Waters, ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2023, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8185 "2023-07-25T00:44:56Z")
Bzzzzt! It’s yours @Prof.Pepperwinkle > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Once we pump 18000 volts through her, her head will pop right back up. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2023, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8186 "2023-07-25T12:28:31Z")
Merci beaucoup! Now we proceed to… [![](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.01b79f0064a9d526c4a56f87955ceb2f?rik=ywoqU6hL7DscEA&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.01b79f0064a9d526c4a56f87955ceb2f?rik=ywoqU6hL7DscEA&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=408) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=410)