# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 411
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8207 "2023-08-02T12:28:25Z")
“What are you wearing?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8208 "2023-08-02T12:43:08Z")
Shakespeare Transcribing Company. Please hold. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8209 "2023-08-02T16:54:47Z")
I can assure you, sir, I am not a foreigner. My name is Roger. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8210 "2023-08-02T16:55:46Z")
I have important news about your vehicle’s warranty. ---
**Author:** ![Jegpeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jegpeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jegpeg)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8211 "2023-08-02T18:43:13Z")
I’ll only do the job if you pay me 20 peanuts a day. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8212 "2023-08-02T20:20:25Z")
I’m on a trunk call with an elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8213 "2023-08-02T20:43:02Z")
“Ok. I’ll level with you. A time shares in Gombe, Tanzania _isn’t_ the “best” investment…but if I don’t make a sale today, Jane Goodall is going to have my legs broke!” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2023, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8214 "2023-08-03T02:28:09Z")
So many good ones, but since there can be only one: > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Shakespeare Transcribing Company. Please hold. It’s all your Prof. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2023, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8215 "2023-08-03T12:54:07Z")
Thank you very much. Now, let’s see… [![](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.41c458acfefd28799f3e1382dac7cdb6?rik=GZZjSWKv5UNJUQ&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.41c458acfefd28799f3e1382dac7cdb6?rik=GZZjSWKv5UNJUQ&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2023, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8216 "2023-08-03T13:06:13Z")
Nacho Logan ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2023, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8217 "2023-08-03T16:33:02Z")
After test audiences couldn’t understand how Jack Torrance grew blades from his hands, Kubrick reshot the “Here’s Johnny!” scene with an axe instead. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2023, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8218 "2023-08-03T21:54:48Z")
School of Rock II - Dewey teaches how to shred. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2023, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8219 "2023-08-04T00:24:46Z")
“When we said Black Wolverine, we meant somebody more like Michael B. Jordan.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2023, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8220 "2023-08-04T13:39:46Z")
I laughed. Oh, how I laughed. > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > School of Rock II - Dewey teaches how to shred. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2023, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8221 "2023-08-04T16:43:03Z")
Thanks, Prof. Try this one. [![](https://farm1.staticflickr.com/12/14435744_f4a8c1d202.jpg) ](https://farm1.staticflickr.com/12/14435744_f4a8c1d202.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2023, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8222 "2023-08-04T16:57:33Z")
Here in Beautiful Downtown Burbank, we also teach perpendicular parking. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2023, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8223 "2023-08-05T02:41:02Z")
It’s amazing what these smart cars can do these days. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2023, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8224 "2023-08-05T03:10:12Z")
“Umm … can somebody change that chyron to ‘Broken News’?” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2023, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8225 "2023-08-06T01:09:39Z")
@Spoons gets bonus points for proper use of the term “chyron,” formerly a trade name that has become generic. Drive safely! > [@Spoons](#): > > “Umm … can somebody change that chyron to ‘Broken News’?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2023, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8226 "2023-08-06T02:02:54Z")
Thanks! In keeping with the car theme, see what you can do with this: [![](https://e0.pxfuel.com/wallpapers/379/286/desktop-wallpaper-funny-car-accident-background.jpg) ](https://e0.pxfuel.com/wallpapers/379/286/desktop-wallpaper-funny-car-accident-background.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=410) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=412)