# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 427
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8527 "2023-10-16T17:26:43Z")
Proof that candy corn is good for teeth. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2023, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8528 "2023-10-16T20:40:24Z")
My name is Earl Scheib and I can whiten those teeth for $999! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2023, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8529 "2023-10-17T06:52:37Z")
_Would you buy a used car from this man?_ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2023, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8530 "2023-10-18T15:34:48Z")
I’ll give it eight more hours for late entries. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2023, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8531 "2023-10-18T15:35:57Z")
My least favorite Spice Girl… ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2023, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8532 "2023-10-18T16:26:49Z")
The pumpkin was identified through dental records ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2023, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8533 "2023-10-18T17:26:55Z")
If you think he’s just faking being that happy, you don’t know Jack! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2023, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8534 "2023-10-18T19:11:40Z")
It’s the Osmond Family Pumpkin! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8535 "2023-10-19T02:38:40Z")
Okay, a lot of good replies but I spun the wheel and it landed on: > [@needscoffee](#): > > It’s the Osmond Family Pumpkin! Take it away @needscoffee ! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8536 "2023-10-19T02:52:45Z")
Hope this one’s new… [![](https://i.imgur.com/mLGewLW.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/mLGewLW.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8537 "2023-10-19T04:09:29Z")
“If you can’t clear this wreck in four hours, we’ll have to call in a professional.” ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8538 "2023-10-19T13:23:41Z")
Viagra: holding up more than just traffic since 1997. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8539 "2023-10-19T15:22:25Z")
E-wreck-tile dysfunction. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8540 "2023-10-19T15:43:44Z")
Must have dropped some Viagra in the gas tank. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8541 "2023-10-19T15:50:01Z")
Somebody pulled a boner. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2023, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8542 "2023-10-19T18:09:46Z")
Social awkwardness from inappropriate stiffening occurs in traffic too. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2023, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8543 "2023-10-20T03:37:33Z")
This is a hard one! I’m going to just yank one out at random: > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > “If you can’t clear this wreck in four hours, we’ll have to call in a professional.” All yours, @Elmer_J.Fudd! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2023, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8544 "2023-10-20T13:54:14Z")
[![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/05/14/blogs/20150514-lens-andy-slide-KIJL/20150514-lens-andy-slide-KIJL-superJumbo.jpg) ](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/05/14/blogs/20150514-lens-andy-slide-KIJL/20150514-lens-andy-slide-KIJL-superJumbo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2023, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8545 "2023-10-20T16:49:53Z")
Looks like another mystery for Father Brown. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2023, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8546 "2023-10-20T17:36:41Z")
“Not really that strange. I did the same thing in recovering wandering garden gnomes.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=426) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=428)